You should start off with rubbing your clit. It might get you excited.
If not then...
A woman's lack of sexual interest is often tied to her relationship with her partner, says Sandra Lieblum, director for sexual and marital health at the UMDNJ Robert Wood Johnson Medical School in Piscataway, N.J. "The important sex organ [for women] is between the ears. Men need a place for having sex â women need a purpose," she says. But it can also be triggered by family concerns, illness or death, financial or job worries, childcare responsibilities, managing a career and children, previous or current physical and emotional abuse, fatigue and depression.
Indeed, female sexual dysfunction seems to be psychologically â rather than physically â rooted. "What the genitals are doing may play a less important role in how a woman defines her sexual arousal," says Meston. "I don't think there will ever be an aphrodisiac that will make [women] want to have sex all the time."
That's not to say its causes aren't physical, Lieblum says. Hypertension, heart disease, cancer, diabetes, thyroid disorders, neurological diseases and autoimmune disorders like lupus can all contribute to a woman's lack of sexual desire. Other factors include prescriptions drugs, particularly anti-hypertensives and depression medication, as well as over-the-counter medications and illegal drugs and alcohol abuse.
Hi clucktheduck, i fully understand what your saying. im only 35 but have not fel lust or desire since i was 26.
Sex itself is still ok i personally orgasm and have good sex. But the desire to want to have it is what i miss the most. i have had anti depressants which helped me get that back for a few days. ive tried different places, roleplaying, new exciting ways. But still nothing.Halfway through i want it finished or when i orgasm if i do as its rare.ive seen social workers to deal with past issues and still nothing. I was like a rampant rabbit till i was 26 but now nothing. y partner is Loveing and accepting of this but i know he would like more sex. and i love him more than anyone will ever know. it has happend with a all my relationships anything past a 1 day period im not interested in sex. I do not think this is talked about nearly enough and i know women suffer in silence over it.What do we do if no one talks about it. so i am researcing. if you can give me any info regaurding what you feel etc and i am happy to discuss anything with others, please feel free to talk to me. i feel like nobody understands so if you feel the same lets chat.
Thanks for the input. My girlfriend who is fifty years old, and had a hysterectomy many years ago is on average "horney" 85% of the time no matter what the situation is around her. She is very sexually active with several...no...many different men. I dont get it! I am completely opposite when it comes to sex and I am seven years younger with no parts missing down there. I always thought women like her would be worse off than me.
She is really the only older woman I know well enough to ask about her sexual urges and what she does, if anything, to get those urges. Well, my mom, I guess, but that might be weird. I haven't asked my friend yet but Im working on my question list. Maybe she too can give me some advise. Hmmm, some conservative advise.
I often wonder what it feels like to actually get the urge to have sex just by being attracted to a man like her.
About rubbing my clit to get me arroused.........Ummm....
that could work, if only my clit was located somewhere easily accesible, like the inside of my elbow. That way I could be getting ready for him even in public. It seems easy but if you just dont have the desire, even a simple clit rubbing seems like such a chore.
Don't give up. I am sure you once enjoyed sex at one time, right? Well, if you did then you can again. Do you love your man and does he love you back? If that too is alright, then there is just a few other things you both need to do to get it on. It takes two to tango and so both of you need to make an effort.
Sometimes it's the small things you do for each other or say to each other from morning to when you next see each other later in the day or evening. More on that later.
I'm a 32 yr old women who NEVER had a orgasm I don't know if that's the reason why I don't care to have sex or what but know one has every gave me one is it something about me? Could it be that im not in to my boyfriend even tho we been together for eight years? I'm so sick of faking it please I need help
I don't because it makes me feel like I'm doing
Something wrong I don't know what it is but I
Feel like I can't open up what can I do to Chang this
I luv my boyfriend and I want this to work but
I just feel like I'm not in to him I don't know if its because
I don't get anything out of sex with him but I really don't
Want to have sex with him until I find out how
I can enjoy sex like he's enjoying it
You will only start to enjoy sex when you start to enjoy yourself, your body, your feelings, your sexuality, your sexual response, like the way you look, you feel, you smell and how you react.
While masturbation is a choice, almost all women that has sexual problems have issues with masturbation.
Not knowing how to pleasure yourself is a major problem. How will he know how to pleasure you if you cannot even do that yourself. He cannot make you have an orgasm. He can only help you. And if you do not know how, how can you tell him how to help you get there?
It is simply not going to work until you learn to love yourself, your body, your sexual response. You are a gorgeous woman, why would you think anything is wrong with touching yourself? What can be wrong with enjoying your own body? It is not as if you are hurting yourself, or doing anybody any harm. It is actually natural and healthy. Even babies in their mother's wombs have been seen masturbating and orgasming on ultrasounds.
As a grown adult woman, you have permission to touch yourself, and enjoy it. To explore yourself, and learn from it. You have permission to have as many orgasms as you like, whenever you want.
In the interest of upfront and full disclosure, I'm a man. I'm reading posts in this forum in hopes of helping my wife of 11 years broaden her sexual horizons. I apologize if my posting in this forum is inappropriate. I'm posting in response to kristigraham's post above.
I've always had a much stronger libido than my wife, but it's never been a problem until recently. My wife's always had a lot of hang-ups with sex, which I've always attributed to her strict Catholic upbringing. Since we've had children though, she's become completely disinterested in sex. We are still having sex, but it feels more obligatory than anything. Don't get me wrong, I know women operate differently than men when it comes to sex and I try to stimulate her mind as well as her romantic and sexual response. I certainly appreciate that she's willing to have sex even when she's not craving it, but I'm a person who derives much of my sexual pleasure from pleasuring my partner...which just isn't happening these days.
I feel that my wife's problem (I hate to refer to it in that light) is just what you stated Kristi, she's unfamiliar with her own body and sexuality. For example, she claims to have never masturbated...and never will...I try to get her to self stimulate during sex and she's just turned off by the idea. Likewise, she won't allow me to perform oral (which is one of my favorite things to do) because she finds it gross. I feel like she has no idea what, sexually, appeals to her.
How can I get my wife over these hang-ups? How can I convince her to explore her own body? I'm ready, willing and able to do whatever it takes, but I feel as though I've tried everything and this is really a journey she needs to take on her own (at least the first steps anyway). The problem is, I don't know how to persuade her to take those first few steps. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
P.S. For what it's worth...Other areas of our relationship are great...we have a lot of fun together, get along great, have a true partnership in raising our kids, running the home, etc.