Hi.... I know what you feel like. I went through 12 weeks of hell. Pure hell before I even got a diagnosis. I even went to a TMJ specialist who dismissed me without taking any xrays, ultra-sounds, or anything. He didn't even touch my jaw!
My suggestion would be to NOT get surgery. Again, I'm totally new to this disease but I hear it is not the way to go. Also I believe in moderate changes.
I read all kinds of articles, journals, etc. and the one that made the most sense was something called "The Clenching Syndrome" Look it up online and download the PDF for free. It will give you 32 pages of info... and I thought it made the absolute most sense. I read each page again and agian and it was absolutely profound. It made so much sense to me.
Please look it up and let me know what you think.
I decided to get a Tanner Splint to help with balancing my bite (synthetically) during sleep. It has provided pain relief. My bite is way off but I hope that will be addressed later. Again make sure you see a VERY SPECIALIZED dentist who is very well versed in developing a "balanced bite splint" or Tanner Splint. He/She should adjust your splint 12-14 times during the treatment. Most of what I saw online said they'd adjust it only 3 times. If it is not balanced it will not help. There is no way a non-balanced splint will help things and may make things worse. A standard soft-acylic nightguard will not help. You'll still be clenching.