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Q: Need some advice
asked by: sidney0911 on February 17th, 2009
New User
I met my boyfriend almost a year ago on a blind date. We've had our ups and downs, but I love him and its been a great relationship for the most part.

Almost a year before we met he was engaged and she called it off. All of their mutual friends stopped talking to him, and from what his family has told me, it was really tough on him. Anyway, recently they're old friends have started to get back in touch with him. He was telling me last night about how they used to all hang out all the time, and were always together and having fun. I'm glad they've started to talk again because I know how close they all were, but I'm also scared. What if he misses his old life and decides he's not happy being with me? What if he somehow starts talking to his ex again, and chooses to be with her?

I'm not a jealous person, and I'm glad his friends are wanting to be back in his life, I'm just scared. Does anyone have any advice on how to talk to him about it? I don't want to seem like a nagging girlfriend or anything. I just really care about him and want to make sure I'm what he wants.
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JavaMissus
replied on February 17th, 2009
Moderator
I don't think I would put that suggestion in his mind....I can see your freight as when you love someone, you love someone.....

I would stay close to him and just see what happens....Personally, I as a woman, would not like this either....It would raise a red caution flag that had not been there before...

I wish you well....
Caroline
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sidney0911
replied on February 18th, 2009
New User
Thanks Caroline. So what you're saying is I should just not mention it because it might cause him to think about his ex? Sorry, I got a little confused lol. Very Happy
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JavaMissus
replied on February 18th, 2009
Moderator
No, I think he has thought about his ex and talked about her with his friends many times...Whether they are trying to pull them back together I just don't know....

I guess I wouldn't say anything unless I felt something.....Maybe a part of him that was not with me and was drifting somewhere else....Or an obvious hint of yesterday that he brings up....You should be able to tell of his love for you....You would see a difference in his actions....

Believe me I know the fear of lost loves....On the day our first baby was born my husband met his old girlfriend on the way into the hospital....I had him, but she had him before me so the panic button hit....

Honey, if it would make you feel better inside and be happier, say something....But then let it die....Don't bring it up again....Thinking of that hospital day just changed my mind....

Hugs,
Caroline
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worrywart01
replied on February 19th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
I think that if they decide to go out it should be as a group and he should invite YOU to go along and introduce you..I personally wouldn't be ok with my boyfriend going out with an ex alone to "catch up"..even if i trusted him, I dont know her, I dont trust her...many times we don't realize what we've got until it's gone..who knows if she just wants to be friends and has honest intentions But, she could be trying to spark an old flame...i never hesitate to speak of my concerns to my boyfriend...though..sometimes i should probably learn to bite my tongue Very Happy lol
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sidney0911
replied on February 20th, 2009
New User
I don't think he has any intention of hanging out with her... at least he better not haha. Well, he invited me to come with him and his friends for the weekend so I could meet them and get to know them. Now I'm just scared that they'll hate me and try to get him to break up with me.

I think I worry entirely too much...

I should be happy that he wants to introduce me to his old friends. You would be nervous too though, right?? lol I feel so pathetic. I've NEVER worried this much over a guy.
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ServiceU
replied on May 2nd, 2009
Supporter
i don't think you have anything to worry about. i wouldn't say anything unless there is red flags. that women hurt him a lot and he's not going to forget about that.
i m a firm believer that you have to deal with any punch life throw at you.
i think a little jealousy is creating these thoughts in your head.
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