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need opinion

ok its like this me and my bf have been together for going on 7 years. he was really into allot of drugs meth being the biggest problem, he's cheated on me several times that i know about no telling how many i dont know about. he went to rehab and was there for 6 months. i let a friend of mine move in. we got drunk some stuff happend between me, her and 2 of the people he talks to i wouldnt call them friends of his but there people he talks to every now and then. his mom overdoses night before last she doesnt make it. im out of town right now. my "friend" tells him everything we did... he called me i tried to deny it but of course it finally comes out. hes cheated on me with this friend of mine before and he kept calling me back asking why i did this to him, i didnt have an explination we were drunk it got out of hand. he was like all this while i was in rehab trying to make it better for us. Now he's telling me we will never be together again because he knew the people it happend with and when he cheats on me its always complete strangers. my question is was i really that wrong?? It happend 1 time that was it. hes cheated on me several i mean i just dont understand why its okay for him to cheat on me so many times but when it happens to him hes so quick to end it. i mean he left me and the kids on christmas to go get more drugs and hes still not all the way off them if we get in a fight he leaves for at least 5 days then comes back and everthing is suppose to just be okay. hes put me through more than i ever thought about puttin him through and it just beyond me how hes so quick to throw us away after i have stood by him.
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replied August 10th, 2008
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There are a couple of things that bothers me about this post.
1. Your boyfriend cheats on you and you don’t leave him. It’s just okay?
2. You want to justify cheating on him because he cheated on you.
3. How many times do you have to cheat on him before you are even?
4. You use being drunk as an excuse.
Honey, you seem like a young girl. If you want to go out and enjoy life – that’s okay. Nobody is forcing you to be in a relationship. It’s a free country. Go out and have fun. But I don’t think you are ready for a serious relationship yet.
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replied August 10th, 2008
no it's not just okay ya i've left him a couple times for it. like 3months one time but we always end up getting back together cause he tells me hes sorry and all this and i eventually give in. Im not trying to justify it im just trying to figure out what hes thinkin knowing how many times hes cheated on me, and i forgave him i dont understand why he cant do the same. I would consider us even.. when i did all this i had wrote him in rehab saying i didnt know if i wanted to be with him still so technically we wernt really together. That's the one and only time i have cheated on him and haven't done it again it was pretty low. As far as drunk being an excuse i know if i wasnt drunk it wouldnt have happend not trying to say i dont take the blame for it cause i am grown and make my own decisions. He always tells me i was high i didn't even know what i was doing.. so it sounded like a good reason to me? thats what he tells me all the time. i didnt have a reason for doing it to him. it just kinda happend and ya i guess i am still pretty young im 24. i just know his mom died a couple days ago and all hes worried about is how i could do this to him. i just dont know what to say to make it better : /
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replied August 12th, 2008
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Honey, you might want to reconsider being with this guy. ‘I was high I didn't even know what I was doing..” is like a drunk man raping a girl and saying: ‘I didn’t know what I was doing’. It doesn’t make what he did any less significant.

I do have a lot of sympathy with him though (his mother passing away). Sometimes when somebody goes through a traumatic experience like this, they need someone to blame (for anything) to project their own hurt.

If you decide to stay with him you are going to have to be very understanding. He probably feels guilty for disappointing her right before she passed away. How did she react when she found out about his drug dependency?
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replied August 12th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
This isn't a healthy relationship...you cant justify cheating on him just because he cheated on you..noooo way...YOU took him back..that was your decision..he doesn't have to do the same..also..why are you still with him?! hes cheated on you SEVERAL times???? are you kidding?! How is that a relationship? Hes proven time and time again that he isn't serious because if he really loved you he wouldn't cheat on you...i think the two of you clearly need a break until you both can get your lives together...he needs to focus on getting sober right now anyway
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replied August 22nd, 2008
this really sounds like a bad relationship all around.

heres a nice highlighted portion: "when i did all this i had wrote him in REHAB saying i didnt know if i wanted to be with him"

now some people could say that, hes trying to make a change in his life. from the sounds of this you both seem very bad at the whole relationship deal. you both have cheated on each other and hate each other for it, it doesent matter who started it or who it was with its not ok no matter what.

sorry to be blunt but you both seem like you need to get your act together, whether your with eachother or not.
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