My fantasy has always involved my wife,
and it is so weird and specific, that it
almost seems more difficult to explain
than some kinky raunchy bondage fetish. I
have gently and playfully suggested it to
her on many occassions, but it is so odd,
she laughed it off. But i feel i have an
addiction disorder. We have been happily
married 20 years, and she is amazing to me
in every way, and a wonderul mother to my
2 sons. This fetish does not interfere
with our sex life, which i consider
wonderful (i think she does too). So, here
it is; I get off on imaginging her
worshipping me, licking certain body parts
(no not my genitals). I sometimes look at
body shots of myself, or sometimes look
at pictures of other guys on the internet
(non porn), imagining they are me. The
mental image that i imagine is of her
being the aggressor in this situation. I
also sometimes take articles of her
laundry so i can smell her while i do my
thing. Looking into this weird fetish on
the internet has frequently led me to gay
websites, and i feared that perhaps i was
a latent homo. I have ruled that out. The
thought of a dude in bed is nasty (for
me). This is a bizarre narcissistic
fixation, and i think i need professional
help to address it. Any suggestions?
I told her about this in greater detail
last week, thinking that getting it out in
the open would be healthy. WRONG! She has
been despondent. She thinks I am a freak.
I should have kept my mouth shut. In
hindsight, by telling her this, i suppose
i was trying to ease my conscience.
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marvel
Supporter
Joined: 09 Sep 2007 Posts: 1036 Location: Toronto, Ontario (but only a private message away)
Thanks: 34
Thanked:3
Posted: 04-20-08 20:13pm
I don't really see anything wrong with it,
so long as it doesn't affect your sex life
or your daily life outside of sex.
Fetishes are meant to be fun, and they're
there to make sex more exciting.
Unfortunately if she's not into it, you're
out of luck... but don't think you're
crazy or anything... as long as it doesn't
consume you, you're fine.
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Dreadmuse
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Apr 2008 Posts: 13 Location: St. Petersburg, fl usa
Posted: 04-21-08 10:04am
Good Points Marvel,
There is nothing wrong with most fetishes.
It is a matter of how extreme your fetish
is and the impact it has on your daily
life.
Hope the original poster has the best of
luck. Remember though, communication is
the key. Don't try tricking your partner
though. It is something that has to be
approached as an adult conversation,
something you would like to try. Describe
to your partner how you imagine it, what
about it is a turn on, how it makes you
feel...
If that fails... well... then best of
luck...
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cdy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Apr 2008 Posts: 3
My Fetish Posted: 04-21-08 17:03pm
thanks for the feedback.
but what about the part about my sometimes
using pics of other dudes, pretending they
are me, and then getting off imagining my
wife being orally aggressive on them?
doesnt sound gay to you? or just a
narcissistic fetish? it has no impact on
my life whatsoever. it is a
behind-closed-doors fantasy that is
gratified, then i move on with my day. It
has never involved a third person
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Dreadmuse
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Apr 2008 Posts: 13 Location: St. Petersburg, fl usa
Posted: 04-22-08 07:48am
You are not engaged in a fantasy that
involves the men doing something to you,
so I would not qualify this as a
homosexual fantasy. You are having a
fantasy regarding someone that you
consider to be good looking (yeah men can
say men are good looking without being
gay). Your fantasy seems to be geared
towards watching your wife go down on a
stranger. Perhaps not even a stranger but
someone that you feel has qualities that
you admire in the male physique.
Is this Narcisistic? Only you can answer
that... based on what you have said, I
would say it is on some levels... but I
would not consider it a problem. You are
choosing men that have something that you
think of as attractive. You are pretending
to be them... true narcissistic people
would think that these men pretend to be
them....
sounds like a perfectly healthy fantasy to
me. perhaps you should write about them...
analyze them... you are on the right path,
you are not burying your fantasy, nor are
you recklessly engaging... you want to
understand. That is the first step in
deciding where fantasy and reality come
together.
The Dreadful Muse
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Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5154 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 53
Thanked:25
Posted: 04-25-08 09:18am
It sounds totally normal to me, in fact, I
can't imagine that that wouldn't turn most
people on! And no, even if you were
looking at pics of other guys and
imagining them in bed with you (which you
aren't) wouldn't make you gay. You're just
fine.
The only real problem here is that your
wife doesn't feel the same way. I'm not
quite sure what she's opposed to, maybe
find out what freaks her out about it, and
focus on something else? Make sure she
knows that you want her to be comfortable.
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