For some of us we need double stimulation so rubbing her clit at the same time as intercourse, I believe there is only 4% of woman who do not need this. Relax maybe a glass of wine or a bath before hand would feel good.
That normal not all of us make noise, listen to her breathing, does she touch herself can she orgasm on her own?
angel75, i think you're putting too much pressure on her. i think you're also putting too much pressure on yourself. my suggestion is to lighten up. relax. have fun with her and let it be fun for her with no pressure to have orgasm or not. just make love to her for that reason by itself. no other reason. probably if you do, and you both make it fun for eachother, within a few MONTHS of doing this way, she will be relaxed enough to have an "O".
you can't tell a woman to have an "O". you can't force a woman to have an "O". you can't try hard enough to make a woman have an "O". what you have to do is to love her and touch her body...let her touch her own body in a way that feels good too. when you see her body reacting "positively", or when she tells you something feels really good, just keep going with that. communicate with her and (remember...no PRESSURE) just learn about what feels good to her.
when the time is right for her and she is able to fully relax and be comfortable then she will have an "O".
two other things...women are very complex (you might have noticed). we're even complex to ourselves. in a way it is up to her when she has an "O". ultimately, it will be her mind that allows her to have an "O" with you.
that doesn't mean that she doesn't want to have an "O" with you though. she may want it very much, but because she is a woman, and she is complex, she cannot do it just based on what you or she wants.
this is why you have to "trick" her mind a bit. you have to understand that she's this complex and you have to make her mind relax enough that when things begin to feel good that the mind doesn't subconsciously "keep the O from happening".
that's the reason why you make it fun, and with no pressure, and loving. when all she has to focus on is how much fun she's having, how much she loves you and you love her AND how good it's feeling, then she can have the "O". do you understand? i know it's difficult.
Hey I know how you are feeling! I LOVE sex with my boyfriend but for some reason I cannot get all the way there. Seriously its like I pull back at the last min. I have never had an orgasm so do not feel bad. But if you are sitting on a couch have your wife straddle you and have her on top that way she can move and all that until she finds her spot. Thats what I did the other day and I was so much closer than I have ever been seriously! Good Luck and you will get there. Or have her do it and see what it takes ya know.
it takes time i haven't ever had a orgasm but maybe twice so far been with my husband is 04 have two kids... keep trying maybe she is having a organism and she just doesn't wanna make noise i have no clue.. me and her have a lot in common...
It's difficult for a lot of women to understand and find the orgasm connection. I didn't have an orgasm with a man until I was 28 and looking back, it was due to ignorance. Ironically, I have been able to have an orgasm on my own since childhood but I never connected that particular experience with something that I could have with someone else until years later. So naive.
I'm 43 now and I have no problems having an orgasm.
I was fortunate back in the day as my boyfriend was much older than I. It took a year but it finally happened on the day I turned 28. Happy Birthday to me! LOL.
I would say to men, if your woman hasn't had an orgasm, expect to spend some time with foreplay. Quite a bit of time. Try using a vibrator on her clitoris and make sure to put some KY Jelly on the tip so it will glide around easily. Start slow and watch her reactions (real reactions are subtle) to know when to apply more pressure and speed. Feel your way through and FEEL her energy and the energy between the both of you. Trust it. Work it in a circular motion. When your woman has an orgasm, you will know it. No doubt.
If you don't have a vibrator, use your fingers and make sure you apply KY-Jelly as it will make it much more comfortable for her. Rarely can women have an orgasm via intercourse alone so make the foreplay count. After a woman has a mind-blowing orgasm, they are still charged for intercourse and/or whatever!
Then again, I've known some women who can only have an orgasm via oral sex. Know her preference.
Some women are overly-sensitive so direct pressure on THE spot may be too much at first, which is why a circular motion is so important. She has to work up to being able to handle all that pressure directly and you will know when it is time to apply more.
For women, I would say you have to open up to your man. Give yourself up to the experience. The more you open up, the more intense the orgasm. The bedroom is a place where...the more control you give up...the better the reward. Your man doesn't care if your hair isn't just right or if you have a belly roll. Trust me. The most attractive you will ever be is when you completely let go and ride an orgasm given to you by your husband/significant other. He won't mind waiting so don't worry that you are taking too long. As a matter of fact, just the opposite. He is willing to spend all day and night there so let go of the stress of time. FEEL what he is doing...FEEL him. Tell him if you prefer it up a little more or lower...he won't mind. But before you give directions, allow yourself to give in to his touch first and see where it will take you.
Last but not least, it's just sex. It's not brain surgery and it's not going to rob you of your soul or make or break you as a person. So relax. Have a light heart and try to not be so tense and afraid.
BTW, women who haven't yet had their first orgasm do not have a disease and if she feels this is how you feel, it will be harder for her to give in to you/your touch.
Be sensitive to her as this is a big thing for her and treating it flippantly will not help at all. As a matter of fact, it can do much damage so be wise and treat her kindly. Patience is key.
I fully agree with Jazzy's post. This isn't a short sprint. It's a marathon. Don't pressure or it will make it worse. Like I said, it took me a year the first time. I felt NO pressure from him and was able to discover myself sexually in the process. It takes TIME.
Before we deal with stats, techniques, the kamasutra... what ever... you've first got to understand what an orgasm is.
Orgasm is simply neurological overload.
You take the nicest person and annoy the heck out of them for days on end, they WILL CRACK and start clawing at your eyeballs.
SO... DO NOT worry about the orgasm... just concentrate on creating accelerating neurological nervous system stimulation. Once the stimulation has reached the body's ability to hold it... the body will breakdown and seize. In this case.. its called an orgasm. In other cases... it may be a fit of anger... or a sudden burst of tears...
Its the TYPE of stimulus that determines the nature of the seizure.