Unfortunately, this is all too common. Maybe this guy will come back, maybe not. My advice is to talk with your parents about what options you have. Obviously, this guy is not mature enough to handle a baby nor does he appear to want the responsibility. A grown up man will not ask about paternity - he is mature enough to know that he was part of making the baby and it is his responsibility to help take care of the baby. You cannot count on him & please don't think that this baby will be a way to keep him in your life. It will only cause you & your child misery and pain. Can you imagine how your child will feel knowing that his/her father didn't want the pregnancy and denied paternity? That will destroy your child's sense of security. You must talk this over with your parents and decide that you will raise this baby with their help or give it up for adoption. I wish you well and most of all, I hope you do what is best for your baby.

The same thing happend to me! I was in a relationship with the father of my son and i thought everything was fine and all of a sudden he just broke things off. Soon after i found out i was pregnant and when i told him he cowardly told me and demanded me to have an abortion!! I obviously culdnt do that. So i went on with the pregnancy. When i had my first ultrasound i sent him a picture of it and i guess he didnt care becuz i never heard from him. To make things worst this jerk had the nerve to call me at times to insult me. To make the long story short he walked out on me just like the father of your baby is doing. If he will ever come around no one can say only his dumbself knows that. All i can really say is that he is an immature little boy no matter what he does in his life he will never be a man. The father of ma son is now trying to come around....(6 MONTHS LATER)...but wat can i do about it. The only main advice i could give you is to keep your head up and look foward for you and especially for the little one growing inside of you=)! As for him dont think at all that you can rely on him. No matter wat make sure that you put child support on him. In the long run that will help your baby alot. And if he ever tries to come back to you and sweet talk you dont fall for it!! The father of my son tried it (haha). Becuz if he did this to you just imagine wat else he would do!? Hang in there hunn it will all be ok as hard as it may seem it all turns out for the best. If it helps you at all you can always count on me for some advice....advice never hurts anybody

sonofjames, excellent advice.

I agree that she should talk to her parents. but i think that knowing that your father didnt want you or whatever is going to be hard, i believe that, my sons father did the same things to me. That fact he will someday be able to deal with, I just cannot see saying it would be better to give the baby up. Yes it might very well be true that it could be in the childs best interest without help. It might also be true that the father could just be in denial like my babys father was and once he gets the test he will come around. I can see your points but to point out the child knowing, at least the child will know one parent cared and loved it whereas if it is put up for adoption it could have feelings of disspair of being given up regarless of circumstances. This can also cause depression or what not and this should not be looked up. Im not saying adoption would be wrong im just saying the same feelings could be produced even above and beyond if the child is given up for adoption. I agree talk to your parents, they love you, and should be there to help you regardless of wheter or not he comes around.

Which population of children do you really think fares better, in general?

Children who are adopted or children of teen parents?

I never said that i think she should rule out adoption. Im just saying from an emotional standpoint, not a physical one. Emotionally being disowned by one parent can be far less distressing than being given up by both even if it was in the childs best interest. I also said she should think carefully about what she does. Any decision she makes is going to be hard and that is the truth. Its hard to be a teenage mother, any girl on this forum would tell you that, but its also hard emotionally to give up a baby that you have cared for soley and protected with your very being for 10 months whilst it is inside you. Feeling it kick, growing attached and then having it all be over for maybe 18 years maybe more, but it is a good idea if you dont think you can make it but you need to be willing to deal with the repercussions of either decision and make sure you weigh ALL of the options. Adoption wasnt the right choice for me, but to some it may be im not denying that.

I think my child will have a better life with me than if someone adopted him. I get to see him grow and change and in return he gets to be with a mother that 100% loves him, not that im saying an adoptive parent wouldnt, but i know him better than anyone he is a part of me. I also understand that i need to do whatever it takes, I understand welfare shouldnt be abused like it could be, and I understand that i need to better myself with my education and in a year or two he will have all the same opportunities as a child with older parents. I had a nurse tell me that I was more prepared and informed than many people twice my age with their first child. I think you just have to do your research and better your life and a child can have an equally rich life with either.