Dear mom,
I am saddened to hear of your loss. I too have experienced the loss of a child. My wife and I were awakened from sleep into a living nightmare last year on May 29th with the news that our 27 yr old son had been killed in a car accident.
One thing we found which has been somewhat helpful is a nationwide group called "The compassionate friends" (just google it to find a chapter near you).
They are a support group for those who have lost a child. I would strongly recommend you attend a meeting or two with them. They are not a religious group or a 12 step type thing. They are parents supporting parents through the worst nightmare possible.
I think and hope you'll find them helpful.