I really feel for you. It's so difficult raising teenagers. I have two myself. One thing I learned years ago and as a teacher also; many kids, especially if they are angry will react better from positive reinforcements than the constant punishment that doesn't work. It just gets them more angry making things worse. Your son doesn't really hate you but something between the two of you is frustrating him. Do you have open communication in your house? Are you very strict? Eventually they do grow up and realize how much you have done for them but in the meantime you have some options. You definitely need some help with your son. He seems very angry which is focused on you. My sister is having the same problem with her son and I honestly believe that it's her fault. I've spent time with them and it's obvious that any child, especially one with anger issues would act out after their mother repeatedly insulted them. I've tried to tell her that what she was doing was wrong but she just refuses to listen. I'm not saying that you are doing this to your son but there could be something else going on with the relationship causing him to think that he hates you. It may not be your fault at all but I think you should start by talking to your son about talking to a professional that has experience with family counseling. I wish you luck!

Thankyou very much for replying. Sometimes I just feel like there's noone to talk to. I know raising teenagers is hard but my God! This has been building up for a long time, he never really wanted to even accept me as an authority figure. I'm not overprotective, but he expects that because all his friends are allowed to do whatever they want, when they want then that makes me overprotective. It's really the lack of respect that I can't get over. Anyway, thankyou so much again for caring.

Marcy, I think teens feel that a parent is over protective when not allowed to do things..It shows them love and someday they will recognize that..

I think your son needs to talk with a psychologist or pastor..I agree, with him having a potty mouth he doesn't deserve internet useage or anything else until he cleans up his act..Hang in there honey..Is there a dad in his life? If not can you get him a big brother for a couple years? Boys need a male in their lives to help them grow stronger..It's not as a female that we do bad jobs it's just boys need the strength a male brings to the relationship..

I THINK its your fault. Because when I was a teenager, my dad always talk about my negatif attitude. For example, my family went out for a dinner. Then, my father scold me because im not wearing my spectacle. But when i ask him this question, "Okey, I'm not wearing my spectacle. But why do you expect me to wear it? You are not wearing yours. So, why should u scold me?". Then he gets more angry. I know I shouldn't talk that way to my father. But even if I dont say it, he will still be angry of me. So, what I'm try to say is, maybe you did something wrong. And, when you talk to your son about what he did the same thing as u did, he'll be angry because you can do it but he cant.

Jazzman honey-you were disrespectful to your dad..As you know the situation for wearing spectacles is different..You did not mention if he and you were trying to read a menu..Or, if you were asking questions without wearing your glasses and he already knew what he wanted..
To me it sounds like you began accusing your dad and you don't see it..

But, also you are seeing a double edged sword..Where a parent complains about in you the same thing they do themselves..When you see this it might be good to wait and talk about it at a later date to keep from anger building..To talk when things are calm is best..Also, asking in a not accusing way will help you get your
point across..Delivery of a question or statment means alot..

Honey I hope you and your dad work out your differences..Having a dad that stands beside you is a blessing..kd

Well, in a way you can't blame him. I mean, we don't really choose the enviroement in witch we are born, right?

Maybe you should try to emphasize more with your son, talk more and learn the art of compromise.

throw him to a family member or his father. let him go to a place where he would cry to have you in his life.
there's young teens on this site that say they hate their parents because they wont allow them to smoke weed.
if my son said that i would slap his lips off, and i dont believe in beatings.
you have to be tough, he needs to have respect for you or leave. i would not deal with him being disrespectful to me.

Marcy,
I myself was a young teen that said I "hated" my parents, although I never said it to them. Alot of times kids will act this way because his friends act that why toward their parents. I no that I would get to angry at my parents for not letting me to do thing that my friends got to do or I would get angry because my friends could talk to their parents a certain way and I could not. Your son sounds like he needs an outlet. My parents got me vocal lessons and I was able to channel my focus into that. See what programs you can get your son into. There is also a saying you can telly our son that my parents say everday. " Attention teens, Move out, get a job and live on your own while you still no everything"

I am going through the very same thing right now with my 14 year old son. I am the one that disaplines and dad is just a friend, it seems. If I ask or tell my son to "clean his room or do his homework", he tells me that I am annoying and shuts me out. He doesn't have conversations with me but just answers yes or no and you can tell he does it on purpose, not because he's a quiet person. He won't clean his room and tells me he did his homework and just lies to my face when his grades come back to reflect otherwise. His attitude towards me is breaking my heart and I told him so and he doesn't care. I am the one that was the room parent, the one who goes to his sporting events, the one who buys his gifts, the one who cares about his grades, the one who cleans the house, cooks for him and washs his clothes. Dad who is still in house is his buddy and always too busy to go to his events, his grades, to shuttle him around but yet my son loves him more. I don't get it, just don't get it..