Hello - I just found this site and I intend to come back regularly. After 2 hours conversation with my significant other I found out he has MS. He and I have had ups and downs in our relationship because of his inability to allow me to get close. I finally got upset today and told him it was over because I couldnât be with someone who pushed me away constantly. He finally broken down and told me he has MS. He was afraid to let me get close though he wanted to because his last girlfriend broke up with him 3 months after he was diagnosed. She said she wanted children and a different life and couldnât deal with his illness. This was after he had a flare and went thru a really rough period.
I want to be there for this man. I love him with all my heart. Iâm hoping from this site to learn how to support him emotionally and how not to suffocate him as well.
I welcome any suggestions.
Some background... we've dated for 3 years. I have a son (before we got together) and he adores him. We both want to be together and have kids together.
We both need to learn to communicate more effectively so that he can ask for help and I can provide support when needed.
What I can say for your situation is you should get some research in, if you haven't yet, on all possible symptoms of MS, then ask him which he has if any presently. Then you should research whichever injection he is taking and how it effects him. I take Avonex, for example, and the day after my weekly injection I feel awful and refuse to go anywhere. The other two interferon shots are the same composition as Avonex, but they are in smaller doses over many days of the week, so the effects are smaller. I am not sure what the last injection is like, but I know it doesn't give flu like symptoms.
Once you know how he'd feel after injections, you'll know what he can do daily and his mood during healthy periods (and you'll know what he's going through after the research for when he gets new symptoms).
I wish for the best because I've often felt worried about surprising a partner about having something like this. I was thinking if I was in a relationship I'd show them sooner than later what my shot did, so I truly can't be of much help, but I answered it how I'd want someone to react. Being knowledgeable will let you understand his limits better and you'll be able to talk about it easier. I know I couldn't be of help, but knowing is the key issue to this problem as simple as it sounds.
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