Hi everyone. I am 20 years old and I have premature ejaculation and my penis wont stay hard. Ill go back a year to begin my story. A year ago I met a girl (now my girlfriend). We had sex everyday or every other day or possibly multiple times a day. She was my third girl. In the beginning I was coming in 15 minutes but I figured thats fine because I wasnt experienced. The more we had sex the longer I lasted which I thought was pretty obvious to happen. So for months we were having the best sex I or she had ever had. I know were 20 and inexperienced but it was great. I would go for 30-40 minutes and finish after she had already orgasmed twice or three times. However, after a while I started craving porn and soon began juggling both porn and my girlfriend. After a little while doing that I started craving porn more than her. Then I looked at a few sites and began to think maybe I have porn induced ED. But my symptoms are different. I can get hard to porn, thoughts sometimes while touching my penis, thats it. The thing is, I can shake my penis around in front of my girlfriend and I will get hard then we will try to have sex and I will go flaccid. Furthermore, if we continue to have sex while my penis is slightly hard, more flaccid, I orgasm within a minute. Once I do come I try to keep going but my refractory period seems to be til the next day... I dont get it. A lot of people have told me its because Im not attracted to her but that is not the case, and if it were I wouldnt finish? Present day, We have cut back on sex. I read to stop the orgasm for a few months, no matter with a girl or porn. What should I do? Should I visit a doctor? If I did what could they do? Give me meds?
So to conclude:
- Can get hard to thoughts
- Can get hard to porn
-However during both, Im not raging hard, Im just decent
-With my girlfriend, I go flaccid when about to have sex
- I orgasm within a minute
-IM 20 YEARS OLD!!!!
I have been posting on here letting people know about porn induced Ed... And to be honest even though you said you know about it it still sounds like that's the problem.. I don't know if you read on your brain on porn dot com but there's a article that talks about too many orgasms eventually lead to PE because that muscle that controls the sperm gets worn down an just lets it flow out haha but for real...your 20 and your not nervous so just look at the facts...I know a lot about it so feel free to ask.. Hope I helped
Honestly I think that is the problem and that sounds right but I think I'm like addicted to it because when she like starts touching my d*ck I can literally feel the come building up like I'm already about to bust which never used to happen. And yeah I'm def not nervous lol I always wip it out in front of her I have no shame lol. But, I have read on them at website and it says to limit orgasming and no porn. Haven't watch led porn for about 2 months but I do continue to "try" and have sex but it's a lot less often... Maybe once a week. Also I have masturbated twice. Couldn't resist but it wasn't to porn.. Do you think I should completely cut out sex for a few months or at the rate I'm going my body will go back to normal soon. Also I haven't drank while having sex in a long time and I'm curious to see if that might help lol...
Ya I can relate to the touching and it already feels like your going to bust...(from experience) I'm 24 and in really good physical shape and last year I had porn induced Ed and my story is very similar to yours... But yes I recommend a few things. Number 1. Never watch porn again..sounds harsh but yes I believe you are 'addicted' and it's a physical change in your brain to where you have created a shortcut to orgasm...(when you watch porn there's no emotional build up or natural flirting and caressing its straight to the ' perfect' shot so you can find what you want to bust a nut too...it's like your having sex with a cute girl and saying "ehh I'm just Gunna click on this girl over here to finish too"...not real likely haha) number 2. COMPLETE ABSTINANCE...trust me man...I have read Hundreds of guys recovery stories and ANY orgasm slows down recovery! Number 3. Do kegels.. Google it but it's an exercise to strengthen that muscle that you flex when u try to stop pissin.. But only do them like once a day (this MIGHT help with PE) Number 4. Hit the gym..you gotta make goals an full your time up with productive stuff! Don't play much video games (this is very similar to porn because it's visual stimulation)..just think about all the time you have waisted in your life on porn and let that be motivation to take your girl out and enjoy being social! Number 5. Read other guys stories... This helps tons.. There's a new website a guy started about a week ago called your brain rebalanced dot com... Go to journals..it's only been up about 10 days and already has 100 members.. Anyways yes I suggest you stay away from bustin for awhile..the time it takes depends on how old you were when you started wiring your brain to porn and how long you've been addicted...it took me forever cuz I kept messing around with my girlfriend...hit me back man Im passionate about helpin with this problem and doctors are behind on knowing about this.. Much love, Duke
Duke, Finally I find someone who knows what Im talking about lol. But yes right before sex, I can feel the come build up and Im like Jesus! What the hell! But I definitely agree its porn induced. I havent watched porn for probably 6 weeks and its been getting better but Im nowhere near 100 %. All your tips are very helpful. I already hit the gym 4-5 days a week, Im a gym rat, slowed down sex with my GF, and Ill stop playing video games (great idea, never thought about the visual stimulation!) But thanks for the info, I def think I can live without porn its just nice when you want it LOL. But also, I dont know if I can go completely without sex but I can definitely tone it down. The reason is I dont think it will be such a good idea to tell the GF I was addicted to porn..lol. Also, we had drunk sex last night, first time in probably 2months. Damn! It was all back to normal, but I thank the alcohol for that. Had sex for probably 30 minutes. But thanks for all the info!
No problem man feel free to come back and let me know how your doing or ask me more questions...another thing I will tell you since you said your a gym rat like me...I used to eat like crazy to gain muscle...BUT this damages the D2 receptors in your brain cuz when you eat dopamine is getting produced to motivate you to chew and eat (kinda like gettin it while the gettin is good) but anyways this does the same thing all addictions do and it depletes your d2 receptors over time...and you have to have them healthy to receive the dopamine (get excited)... Basically what I'm gettin at is don't over eat because your basically becoming addicted to food when you do...so even though your problem is porn..cutting back on all stimulation will speed up the process.. I'm not saying turn into a weirdo an get skinny..but I'm saying be aware that too much of anything pleasurable does the same thing to your brain..
But ya if you do anything do it with your girl...this strengthens your reward pathways for her and makes the pathway for porn less.. and ya I told my gf about it and it paid off cuz now I'm completely open about everything with her and she knows all about it..it hurt her to know I used to watch porn so much but after explaining that I got addicted when I was 10 and how I'm so against it now and I'm always going to try and spread the word of the harm it can cause she loves me more for it...but it's def a risky thing to bring up when it sounds like your on your way to being 100% healthy...
Another tip to lookout for is a flatline...I'm sure you have read about it but it's a period of time where your sex drive disappears..the scariest thing to go through and it can take weeks where your junk is cold and small and feels dead..this MIGHT happen while your being abstinent but DON'T WORRY cuz it's complete normal it just means your brain is depressed its not gettin what it wants.. Holla at me and let me know how it goes
Haha, dont be a weirdo and get skinny! Haha nah Im only getting yoked. But yeah cutting all stimulation is a great idea, never would have thought that. And also, I have read about the flatline but I have yet to experience it...Hopefully Im one of the few that doesnt have this happen. Honestly, I feel ya when you say tell your girl because honesty is always best, my gf hates people who watch porn...LOL. I think its because she is someone feministic and thinks thats horrible to do (not some religious nut just thinks its degrading lol) so telling her I problem is due to anxiety is probably the route I am going to take. Ill let you know how everything goes. Ive stopped porn for about 6-7 weeks something like that so hopefully Ill be back to normal soon. And also, once im 100% you better believe I am done watching porn!! LOL
well yes it will advance if you do other natural things thats completly fine!! you just dont want to OVERDUE anything.. and eating and music dont even come close to the dopamine blast from orgasm.. but i dont have to tell you that lol
just takes willpower and Discipline! you just want to stay away from TO MUCH dopamine..everyday natural things are healthy and help rewire
Need some more advice! Basically my gf wants me to go to the doctor. Which is fine because I have some other irrelevant things going on that I should have checked. But what will my doc do? Will they give me meds or tell me to stay away from sex or what? Any ideas?
Well they probably don't know about porn induced EX and want to give you meds, pat you on the back, and say its just performance anxiety.... And they couldn't be more wrong... So ya it's always good to get your blood tested make sure your healthy... But when you tell him about ED he won't even think to ask you about porn.. So feel free to educate him if you go
Yes they usually just ask if you would like Viagra to get the "confidence boost you need" but they don't understand that your problem is arousal and physical..not Psycological and mental.. And Viagra doesn't even work if porn induced ED.. And it can create dependance.. What I tell all young guys is if it's not natural stay away...no healthy man under the age of 50 should need Viagra... So if you go so your gf feels better than that's good and it's a win win. Find out if your healthy... just don't be tricked into paying for meds that won't help
Ok duke and others. So I dont know how long it has been 80-90 days. So far nothing. I have masturbated twice in that time, both times to thoughts. So I relapsed twice I guess. And tonight, I turned on porn just to see if IT can get me turned on, and well it did. Turned it off after 30 seconds. But anyway, with my girlfriend, I still cannot have sex with her. Its terrible and its starting to eat away at her. The other day she gave me head, and I was semi hard and finished within 30 seconds probably, then went straight to flaccid. However, I am noticing random erections to little thoughts throughout the day and also I wake up with a SEMI morning wood, its definitely not hard, but its not completely soft. I usually wake up with this 1-2 a week now. Which before it was every day. So Im noticing a little bit, but sex and everything else still sucks. How much longer will this last? Its killing me...
You need more time!! Be patient... I know it's hard but remember every orgasm slows you down so don't waste one on masturbation... Morning wood will start happening more frequently as time goes by... It could take another 60 days or more or maybe a week or 2(everyone is different)... Just be confident in knowing you WON'T go back and you only will get better with time..
You said you have been gettin some wood here and there so that's a GOOD SIGN!
Remember your brain needs to heal first so you need to let it rest (just like a broken bone in a cast it heals faster if you don't play with it) but if you do orgasm..make sure your with your partner.. This at least helps you rewire to her
I know it's scary man but keep trucking and focus on other things than sex...there's a million things your girl would want to do with you other than sex.. Just be fun confident and let your body take care of itself.. Sounds like your pretty close to being healed keep truckin!
Yeah I agree. When I do recover do you think it will take awhile to last longer again or do you think one day I'll just realize I can go forever? At this point lasting 30 seconds with a semi is no bueno lol. At one point I was thinking if I hooked up with another girl I'd be fine but I just have to remember its in my head. And it's funny as of the last few days, when I think about sex with my girlfriend I'll get some wood but I'm scared if I go to have sex with her I won't be hard and I will finish instantly. It's a lose lose lol
Dude...don't be scared... You will know when your good to go because just the hint of a chance for sex will give you a 100% erection... if you orgasm without an erection you are NOT healed! It used to be thought of as impossible to orgasm soft...until the age of high speed porn that is...
so keep on the abstinent train..
Yes bustin a nut in 30 seconds sucks BUT you will build up stamina the natural way over time... When you do have sex go slow...yes the first few times will more than likely be fast..NO BIG DEAL... in the long run that makes a girl feel better she "turns you on" rather than thinking she can't even get you hard!...
So back to your question:
1. Yes you might cum quik for a little after you recover you will get better with time just take it slow to train your brain...
2. I agree busting in 30 seconds with a semi is NO BUENO.. so don't do it keep being patient if you try to do anything sexual and don't get 100% fairly easy..THEN STOP..doing anything will slow your healing down
Alright DUKE! Ok so its been about a week maybe a little longer where I am now getting erections with my girlfriend, and HARD ones, and I can now last my normal 15-25 minutes. Its getting better and better, but I havent had sex with my GF in about 3 days and I am craving PORN. I dont know what to do lol. I dont want to relapse but its that or I feel like im just going to grab some girl and start having sex with her. haha. Trying to get my mind off this sucks!
First of all I'm pumped to hear your progress!
now you have GOT to realize where porn got you was a land no MAN wants to go...keep that thought in your head at all times..you have to make the decision official that your not going to do it..because I know the thought process of " now I'm healed so it won't hurt to look at it everyone an then...or, just this once, or it's only goin to be a softcore vid so it won't hurt my brain as bad" ALL OF THIS IS YOUR BRAIN TRYING TO PURSUADE YOU TO GIVE IT IT'S DRUG...
It's very important that you understand your reward pathway in your brain for porn..will most likely always be there..it will just get weaker and weaker over time..(this is thanks to a protein called deltafosB that basicaly builds a highway to your addiction so it's easy to drive to reward town so to speak lol)
Now all this talk about 3 days and craving porn? Come on man.. that's just up to you and your willpower.. I know you can go without it and you do too.. (men for thousands of years did without)
You sound like your addicted to orgasm.. That can be an ugly road to go down.. So my advice is just have a little self control and REDIRECT your energy to other things.. The energy your saving from not beatin off could go anywhere you want it.. Keep social keep exercising start playing guitar..spend random time with old friends or family!
Tip: if your nuts start hurting run cold water on them..helps me a lot on dry streaks
I watched porn just about everyday of my life since i was 10 then quit cold turkey and haven't taken a peep so trust me it can be done!
So once again avoid risky spots like watching tv by yourself late at night..(always bad news fo me with our media and the sex sells so lets put a almost naked girl in everything attitude) I had to start reading at night or researching addiction and workin on a website for helping people with this problem.
I'll leave you with this quote "if you don't control your actions, your actions will control you"
Much love, DUKE
Lol I promise not having sex everyday will have ZERO negative impacts on your health..it will actually lead to being able to enjoy other things in life... I know your young and horny... Self control man... You can do it..or should I say you don't have to do it lol...either way you will be fine
Duke, Thanks a lot for this info. I am also having the same problem and i promise you its stressing to the bone. I am 2 weeks now without Porn but had a wet dream early this week (the erection was softer though) so i am not sure if that wud slow down the recovery process. You have no idea how much a hate porn right now, I wonder why these idiots dont have a disclaimer educating us about what damage it can cause, and the said thing is that if you dont have all your facts right you might think watchin more porn is the solution whereas you are just causing more damage. You have given me some hope man and once i recover, I am so flippin done with porn.