My mother (who is 54) had surgery for diverticulitis over two years ago. What she didn't know is they sewed her up wrong and the "lump" she had in her stomach, doctors said, was a result of the surgery and there was nothing they could do about it. Some time later, she visited another doctor about her bladder cancer and she noticed the lump and told her it was incredibly abnormal. It turns out she has a hernia- an incredibly serious one- that has now become so big that she requires surgery soon.

She went to see a doctor about this- a general surgeon- in hopes that'd he'd giver her some info AND a reccomendation. The surgeon told her that the surgery would be so risky that she would most likely die if she got it- and no, I'm not kidding. He said if she didn't make it out of the operating room, the mesh might be rejected by her body, which would require immediate surgery for that which would be so incredibly risky that it most likely would be impossible.

He told her strangulation was also inevitable, but that she shouldn't get surgery and instead try to "live with it" by wearing a brace the rest of her life. Basically, this doctor said my mother will die no matter what.

Now I don't know what to do. Everything I've read about the mesh only compounds what this doctor is saying, but the hernia is slowly getting bigger and strangulation is going to happen eventually. I'm very scared for her- I've dealt with her having major surgery (diverticulitis, the surgery that saved her life BUT caused this) and minor surgeries to stop the spread of her cancer. She has so many other health issues as well- she had a "mini-stroke" the other day, which may be an onset of emphesima (she smokes) and she has also had bleeding problems which could not be diagnosed.

Can someone just help me out? I know there are so many like me on this board, but she really isn't doing anything about this and just letting herself die. I can't take it. I never know when she might experience strangulation and potentially die that night. I keep thinking she'll die before the year is out and it's killing me because I'm incredibly close to her. Losing her suddenly at this point in my life (I'm only 22) would completely destroy me and my younger sister, to the point of mental instability on my part.