Hey, I know there are probably a million and one similar topics.
I've been married to the loveliest man in the world for two years, and his ED started pretty much around the time we got married. Since then I've done my best to be understanding and not put any pressure on him, but after two years it's getting more and more difficult. I feel so weary of it. Our sex life has dwindled to the once or twice a week he takes a Viagra or Kamagra tablet, and it's perfunctory to say the least. Outwith this time, he shows almost no interest in me sexually, and the ultimate effect of that is, it feels awkward and unnatural when he takes a tablet, like it's forced. There is no natural sexual intimacy in our relationship and frankly, it's like talking to a brick wall when I raise the issue.
I feel so angry that he shows no interest in me and recently I've become angry at the fact that he didn't have ED before he met me. I feel angry that with previous partners he had a fulfilling sexual relationship, yet here I am two years into a marriage and he has no interest in a fulfilling sexual relationship with me. I feel almost like I've been cheated, and sometimes it's more like utter rage than just mere anger. I do love him and want our marriage to work but I feel like if I try to raise it or talk about it too often it puts pressure on him. I feel like I'm doomed to an almost sexless marriage, and worse, a marriage devoid of intimacy. The fact that it feels so awkward when he uses the tablets has in turn put me off sex and my sex drive itself has nosedived completely.
To be honest, I just don't know where to turn or where to start and I confess I have considered leaving him, which would really hurt him to know.
I hope he did see his doctor. He should not self medicate this. ED can be a sign of other physical issues.
It sounds like you are both in need of some marriage counseling to reset your physical relationship and get to a better place for both of you.
The chances are good that he will resist. Tell him that you love him and that you want to make it work. Tell him that this is such a serious matter for you that you will have to reconsider your commitment to him if he does not join you to find a solution. Don't threatten him, but make very clear that you consider the physical side of your relationship as very important. Important enough to scuttle the relationship if he does not make a serious effort to help fix it.
It does sound like once the mental and physical issues are dealt with, that he might be able to function without medicines again.
I can fully empathise with all of your feelings of anger and frustration.
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 4years. We are both 27 years of age now. My boyfriend has always suffered from ED. we have spent the last 4years trying to 'fix' this problem with no success. I feel very frustrated and angry as I feel that my boyfriend makes little effort to fix this problem.i constantly have to push him and push. He has tried hypnotherapy, cialis pills, we attended relationship counselling together. He has seen 3 GPs in relation to this problem.the third diagnosed him with low testosterone. He has began treatment for this and is awaiting an appointment with a urologist. He is now attending a counsellor and I am also attending a counsellor separately to try and help me cope with this problem.
I am completely confused at the moment. We have had absolutely no intimacy in our relationship with almost a year now.we have even stopped kissing or touching each other as we are afraid to initiate sex I case it won't work.
At the moment I am beginning to feel that this is a problem that can never be fixed. I feel so frustrated. I don't feel as sexually attracted to him anymore as anytime I imagine us having sx, I just imagine it not working
Please can anyone give me some advice.
I obviously love my boyfriend since we have been together for 4years but I can't face feeling rejected or frustrated anymore.