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My life is torn in front of eyes

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my name abdi i am 29 years old. i was with my wife 13 years and i been married to her for 8 years, we had two wonderfully kids one he is 7 and the other she 3....
I started transportation company in 2008 and i had 3 truck that was running for me and i put all my money and my time on,plus i was driving and dispacher and trying to make my family happy and my kids that i wasnt spend alot of time with them...
i was driving long hual between Canada and US. i barrowed about $70000 to started my transport company. on june of 2009 my insurance told me i cant drive my truck couse i have 4 minor ticket that was the law in my province..
and couple of my customer screw me up on oct about $35000 and file for chapter 13... oct and nov it start to become very slow and my expense was hight.. december i shut down my my business, 3 of trucks was paid about 65% but the bank repod and alot lost about $18000. i become broke my mother when to surgey,, my wife she started to be come friend with girl who interduce her to me, her old friend she was married and she kick her husband for her to stay single mother and sleep every guy she meetin...i never like like her ...she brian wash my wife and i am going true alot.she was yelling every night, where is money and i try to explain but she would never listen, she kicking me out 6 time period in our marriege but i was gone 2-7 day and we used work it out.. on junaury 2 2011 she kick out. i try to calm her down and she was hung up the phone me..


I left the house because i did want my kids to see all the fight.. on march i find out she mat new guy from her friend,she is dating this guy and she fall in love with him,and i didnt even divorce her yet.I divorce her on april 14 2011.


i really dont know what to do about my life, i lost everything i had, i dont have no one to talk to, i dont feel comfortable telling my two friends.. every night i cry, i feel !**@!,my heart it feeling a pain that i cant explain..i cant get any trucking job and i have about $70000 to pay to family people money ..$40000 credit card.. i am so lonely at,i hate my self, i dont eat alot, i dont go out and i dont even know how to make friends because my both of my friend are married. i do see my kids but i am really scared what is going happen to them... she told me she move o and she about get married on june...she will rise our kids.i feel hopeless and unwanted...
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