It all started with a phase of drug use, including extremely powerful hallucinogen drug, Salvia, methamphetamine, crack and cocaine. But I have always enjoyed marijuana. It is the only thing keeping me sane.
I believe that I am stuck in a hallucination world, and everything that I think is going to happen in the real world, does in my eyes, because of being stuck in that world.
I feel like I am losing a war against Satan. I had dreams of seeing my future and my life from different angles and it was a horrifying experience. I have a hard time trying to recall when I seen this, but my best guess is when I used the drug Salvia, as it took me 100% out of reality and possibly entered a totally messed up dimension - controlled by my own mind or some evil entity. I am in that dimension now. I feel like there must be a way out, could that be simply denying this delusion and accepting the world as it is, as everything that happens seems logical, except money, money seems to come to me at ease. I am a programmer, but someone who runs a small business manages to pay me hundreds a week for my time. That doesnt seem logical. What if that is completely a LIE?
I don't know what to do - I don't know how I am even alive!
I am sorry you feel this way. Be happy you are alive! The real world isn't as bad as it may seem. Nothing seems logical to me sometimes, and I don't think most of it really is, lol. We just have to keep on keepin' on!
You're not losing any war by the way. You're a winner!
i felt the same way before for me this would only happen when i was at work since quitting my job i have not had a relapse i watch the world move buy and think every thing that goes on in it is bonkers i guess mate just 1 of them things you have to learn to live with it (X years later?)