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My husband wakes me up every night at 2am... touching me! Why?

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This is sort of an odd thing, but here goes. Every night almost, I am waken up by my husband rubbing my clitoris with his fingers and putting his fingers inside me. This usually happens at around 2-3 a.m. We got married 8 months back. Well, he only gets like 6 hours of sleep a night and that is if he sleeps through and doesn't wake up to do this to me. I will actually sleep through it for some time, and have a dream that someone or something is on me and I cant get it off! He will keep doing this until I respond, which could be a very long time if I am trying to just ignore it so I can go back to sleep. He won't do anything else, or say anything to me at all, he just waits for me to respond, and keeps rubbing. It is kind of funny because he's been doing it for quite a while and I am not really that annoyed by it, I am more concerned that he's not getting the sleep he needs to get up at 7:30 for work. We have sex almost daily before he falls asleep, then a couple hours later, he's at it. I asked him if he was having sex dreams then waking up to get laid, and he said that he does not remember any of his dreams. He has a pretty high sex drive because he wants to have sex every night..I on the other hand could take it or leave it. Is this odd behavior? Any ideas as to why he takes this approach instead of trying something else?
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First Helper User Profile alleyjames
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replied April 4th, 2011
Community Volunteer
Hi Parulroy and welcome to ehealth: If you like it, then why say anything...If you don't and want a good nights sleep, then do...It's a tough call since you have only been married 8 months...As for me, I love attention, but every night in the middle of my sleep.. I just don't know...There are times that you would rather sleep then make love....Congratulations and enjoy your new marriage...Take care...

Caroline
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replied April 27th, 2011
Experienced User
This is so annoying...I can't stand that, i ask myself how you can? And not everyone has a will for sex,everytime...me not...if you like it,then do it, but if you don't...try to speak to him. it's not fer for you,isn't it?
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replied May 30th, 2011
This sounds familiar. My boyfriend (he is 31) and I (I'm 32) have been together for a year. We don't live together. He can not sleep a full night with me. Every night we spend together, he wakes up 2-4 hours after we go to bed, starts playing with me with his fingers and eventually wants to have sex.
Now, the story behind the story...Only a few months after we started dating, I figured out he is a sex addict and also probably love addict. He doesn't seem the type to have sex with a whole bunch of women. He wants the one he is with many times a day. He knows he has a problem. His previous relationship lasted 6 years and she let him have sex sometimes up to 3 times during the night. I can't do that, I don't even want to give him sex in the middle of the night because I get way too tired to be productive at work. We are working slowly at it but as any addiction, there are some needs that are not met within himself that he hasn't figured out yet. We discovered he feels better when I hold him in my arms every time he wakes up. But we are a long way from sleeping a whole night.
My suggestion to you is that you set your own limits and have them respected. If you can't deal with being waken up every night, set up something so you can sleep in a separate room for some nights. I guess it comes back to how you feel about him waking up, much you can take, how much you two are good at communicating with each other, how much you are willing to compromise and solve the problems.
Good luck
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replied January 20th, 2012
Hey! Thanks for posting this question. I have the exact same problem. He wakes up and plays until I respond and we make love. BUT. He is not a sex addict. Quite frankly... He is the opposite of a sex addict. I want more than he wants. So, as you can imagine, I do enjoy it when he wakes up aroused and wants to play with me. I am concerned just because normaly he doesn't want to have sex more than once or twice a week (except for the nights that he wakes up) and he does not remember his dreams. I searched today about night erections and found out that men do get erected 3 to 8 times per night, and it is absolutely normal! What I am concerned of though, is if (with my bf) it has to do with psychological reasons. He has expressed his uneasy feelings about me being 9 years younger and leaving him, but we live together 2 years now, and we had our relationship before that of course... If anyone else has experienced the same thing and has delt with it, please tell us how!

Anyways, maybe I will try to talk to him. Maybe it is a new fetish thing that we don't know. hehehe
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replied January 25th, 2012
i face same
Even i had experienced same with my bf but not everytime Smile......BTW i love that.....i love to get attention.......many time when i sleep i realise that he is licking my precious which i enjoy......hehe....so nothing to worry...enjoy....
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replied January 24th, 2012
Experienced User
Enjoy dear then.. If you like to have this then go on and enjoy at any time and if you think you get annoyed then stop him with a romantic kiss.
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replied March 31st, 2012
Good and real answer
Ok, im on the other side so ull appreciate this.... I used to be like that w my ex.... I used to only want to have sex w her in the middle of the night, after many years being tigether i frankly wasnt aroused by her anymore, we could go on for months without sex.... And the only times id actually engage sex was in the middleof the night... Why???? Because i would be sleeping, having some sort of dream, and then sometimes, not often tho, i would have some sort of dream that i wouldnt remmeber after, but the thing is that at one point, i would be in a state where i would be half asleep and half awake, and in that state i would think that my partner lying next to me in bed was acually another person, and that would turn me on so muuuch that i would engage in getting her turned on by rubbing her etc, and then we would have sex.... That was basicallynthe only time we engaged in sex.... Other than holiday sex.....
Sad but true.... I dont know if its something wrong w me...l or if it was driven by our lack of sex life.... But now im w someone else and i dont have that problem anymore
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replied July 28th, 2012
Night time fiddling!
Well ladies, I am going to be different again!

My husbAnd and I have only been married for 7 weeks, but this is an ongoing problem!

My husband works nights, so we rarely share a bed, but I will be woken by him fingering me, I will obviously respond to this, sometimes we make it to sex, but most of the time he just stops, turns over and goes back to sleep.

I get very frustrated and annoyed by this and do not take it well at all

I have a much higher sex drive than my husband which is hard and he can go up to a month without sex, but I would like it everyday if I could.

Problems!!!
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replied May 10th, 2013
lucky you are
you r lucky....I really want this...

but my husband is opposite...

he only wants his satisfaction....

when we intercourse ....all the time i wont get feelings.... but he finishes his...and start for second time...

before marriage i dream for this....

but after marriage i wont get interest....

because of my husbands nature mostly..... i avoid this....
i hate sex.......
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replied May 24th, 2013
thats how i am i have a high sex drive the need to get off then im done
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replied May 24th, 2013
Experienced User
I am a 58 year old man. When I was younger I would wake up in the middle of the night with an erection. I would wake my wife up and we would have sex in the middle of the night. There were also times when my wife would wake me up in the middle of the night by touching my penis and stimulating it because she wanted sex.
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