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My husband loves to look at other girls and always comment them (Page 1)

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does this mean he has lost interest in me? does this mean he wants someone new? is it that im fat and ugly now and he wants someone sexy.
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First Helper amazed
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replied January 21st, 2009
husband loves to look
Hey it's not all. all men do it. He loves you very much your not fat and not ugly. My husband does it all the time and i do it with him. I even watch porn with him. Before i did this i was in your position always thinking he didn't love me and thinking he was cheating. they do it cause it's in there nature. I can't read his mind but if you try to get into it and make a game like how hot she is or like how she walks. etc.
you have nothing to be worried about relax or you will just push him away from being so nosey. talk about it.
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replied January 22nd, 2009
Community Volunteer
While I let the hubby's eyes roam, which is totally a guy thing, I would never tolerate him blatantly hitting on them. It's okay if he says something on the line of "her hair is nice" or "she has pretty eyes"...innocent stuff like that. But if he starts really digging (which he never has), saying stuff like "look at her RACK" or things of that nature, you bet your a$$ I would be livid. There is no excuse in my opinion to be that chauvanistic, especially in front of your wife. To me, its okay if he thinks that she has a nice a$$ or rack, but I don't need to hear it. Because it's disrespectful to me. I'd sit down and tell him that blatently talking about other women like that HURTS your feelings. Tell him it makes you think that he thinks you are fat or ugly. Tell him that its okay if he thinks things like that but that you don't need to hear it. Ask him if you were to comment on some other man's package, how would it make him feel. Would it make him wonder if he was inadequate? Just let him know it hurts. And if that does not work then turn the tables and flirt it up girl. Let him feel what you feel.
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replied January 22nd, 2009
i think its okay, but as long as it doesnt hurt you.
im not married cos im not the marriage type but my bf and i always love to comment on hot guys and gals, but that is all it is.. perhaps, by that, since we're both young, we can use the info we get to learn what the other one likes.

i think u should try to comment with him, as long as it goes in a respectful manner, and not as if he thinks ur one of the "guys"..

if u can't, u should definetly tell him and ask him to stop, cos it hurts u.

good luck!
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replied January 24th, 2009
thanks i will defenitely keep this in mind >.<
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replied January 24th, 2009
Experienced User
They are just thinking with a different part of their body. It is called "Lust". You won't find one man that does not do this. I hate it myself. I feel I am not good enough when they do that.
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replied January 24th, 2009
Experienced User
soon2bemom2,
I totally agree with motherofhighspiritedones in that all guys look, and I have yet to find one that didn't, looking does not meant that's who they want to be with. We can all appreciate a fine picture or piece of art or statue without having to have an emotional or romantic attachement to it. Many of the clients I massage will talk up a storm about some great looking woman (in their eyes) but in the end, they still want to go home to their wifes or girlfriends.

If you are a mom to be you are not "fat an ugly" but quite the opposite "beautiful and ready to give a child" to you and your husband.

Wendy
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replied January 24th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
Maybe I have my manly moments lol but Ill explain to you why I check other people out even while in a relationship, Im a little blunt though.

I will see a guy/girl bent over their car for example and think they have a nice derrier, may not say it allowed but for two secs it looked good. Like some of the girls said, its like appreciating what your looking at, without looking at it from being in a relationship with that person.

I do what your husband does and did it while I was in a relationship, I may have been attracted but you always remember the person you're with. Flirting for example is healthy, never lead any on and there was never any contact but it spices things up abit.

Not only guys eyes stray, I know alot of woman who do it as well.

I wouldn't worry, its normal, its like you are subconsciouly single but consciouly taken, our bodies,"some of us: are almost programmed to do it.

It doesn't mean you are fat or ugly, just remember he comes back to you at the end of the night.
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replied January 27th, 2009
Community Volunteer
I don't know, maybe I have spent the last 50 years on the far side of the Moon and just emerged...I always felt that once we married each other, we belonged to each other...He has had more chances with women hitting on him, then many men...I knew this and have known this...He still has the active horny older woman that will go for him...But, years ago we pledged our love....He belongs to me and I to him and even though he appreciates a hot body, neither of us would hurt the other with a comment or anything that may make that person feel inadequate...

Saying this, I realize I am the odd man out...But so goes life....

Caroline
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replied January 27th, 2009
Experienced User
Yes...as a male, I look...but I keep my comments to myself. Unless the female does something totally outrageous, like the one that bent over giving me a clear shot up her short skirt, or there's always the innocent ones trying to adjust their bras. Women do some strange things when they think no one's looking. And lucky me, I'm there to take it all in LOL
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replied January 28th, 2009
My ex looked and made comments. When he stopped coming home i knew and i left. The question is do you trust him?
I didn't, he cheated 7 times 3 girls, it does get humiliating when your holding your 7 week old first born and he stoops down and makes it obvious that he is checking out some girl in a skirt and makes a comment about how hot she is.
I'm with someone now that i'm sure looks (he won't admit it) but i trust him and he trusts me. It puts a whole different perspective on things... actually found out he starting watching me 9 years ago and today we are together. there is a certain trust that is just there, be confident about yourself and your looks and it will come at a rewarding price.
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replied April 4th, 2009
is he cheating on me
my husband does that around me to, he saw these 2 girls and said he would have sex with them, and that really go to me, he sas he oves me and everything, but has all these girls on his facebook and made a myspace and didnt tell me that had one girl named jamie on it who i didnt know. so to me it seems like my husband would cheat on me but im not sure, so for u i think u just need to spy and i need to spy as well.
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replied June 13th, 2009
My husband tries not to stare at others when I am around but twice in the last month, in a shopping mall, I was away for ten mins and came back to find him craning his neck to keep on checking out some gal or the other.The way he was looking was really bed. When I confronted him, he behaved as if I am doing something wrong and we had huge fights. I now feel as if his love, his caring was all an illusion.
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replied June 13th, 2009
Experienced User
Looking at Other Women
londoneye wrote:
My husband tries not to stare at others when I am around but twice in the last month, in a shopping mall, I was away for ten mins and came back to find him craning his neck to keep on checking out some gal or the other.The way he was looking was really bed. When I confronted him, he behaved as if I am doing something wrong and we had huge fights. I now feel as if his love, his caring was all an illusion.


I won't say what your husband is doing is the right thing. However, it also doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't love you at all. It's difficult to control theses urges and when I say difficult I mean difficult. I mean I am not the one who will like staring at other women after getting married since it would be like cheating on my wife for me but I also can't say for sure I will never look at other women in a lustful way after marriage. I mean that's very difficult. Sexual desires are one of the most difficult things to control. I would say you shouldn't take the matter so seriously. He is looking at other women doesn't mean he is interested in them for a long time. It's just an instantaneous reaction and the effect also goes away very soon. There is nothing such as perfect love. No one is perfect in this world. I highly doubt if there is any married man out there who has been married for at least, say, 10 years and never lusted at any other women. We all make mistakes and we are not infallible. By saying that I am not encouraging men to stare at other women but I am just trying to say it's not all that easy to refrain from the same.

Finally, I am not trying to lecture you or anyone else over here. Like everyone else, I am just sharing my personal opinion.
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Users who thank concernedn for this post: londoneye 

replied July 20th, 2011
This is very helpful. my husband is struggling with lust by looking other women... sometimes I just let it go but sometimes it hurts so bad..
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replied June 13th, 2009
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my ex used to do this, he was young and immature, he didnt care if he hurt me. he would make loud noises when he sees a beautiful girl.
the guy i m with now he would glance, he would never make a comment. he is very respectful, and he makes me feel like i m beautiful, so this isnt a problem.
actually i would say while were in the car "look at her isnt she pretty" that's just me!!!

Dr. Phil's wife said she dont mind her husband appreciating a beautiful women.
if you look at both my stories with my ex and current b/f i think it has a lot to do with respect.
some guys are disrespectful.

you have to tell him it bothers you. i did this with my ex, he didnt care it hurt me he still did it. so if you plan on staying with someone that's like that you have to demand respect.
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replied June 14th, 2009
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My husband looks and at times will smile..Nothing more..I look and I smile..Nothing more..Sweet comments are ok-she is pretty she has a nice smile etc..Nice body..Anything past that or hurtful to me would be an instant regret..

I cannot tolerate male or female hurtful to their mate..
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Users who thank kdlee for this post: starship33 

replied June 25th, 2009
Does he comment about them infront of you. maybe you should comment on him being insensitive.

everyone says "every husband does it" mine does not. I'm like the .1% I guess who has a husband that seriously does not look at other girls. I've even asked his friends.. all he ever does is talk about me any chance he gets..he was deployed for over 8 months and all he did was drive them nuts talking about me, he taped my photos to the top of his sleeping bunk and would talk to them at night.(in a non crazy way).

except for celebs which arent a bother. We joke around about it.. I get jensen and he can have the two ruby's.

but seriously what yours appears to be doing is pretty disrespectful and you should talk to him about it.
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replied May 5th, 2012
funny my dh was in the army and still till this day a naked women could walk by him and he wouldnt notice. if he didnt think i was the most gorgeous women he wouldnt have married me...ya know.. We also have true love, the type most ppl dont have..so ya guess im the odd one out too Smile it has to do with respecting the one your with and being mature. if he checked out other women i wouldnt be married to him, period..when you have a spouse or whoever lusting over someone else that to me reflects an issue within your marriage, cause i dont need to look anymore and he thinks the same exact thing, we are happy together and only have eyes for each other. i feel lucky i have such a great man!
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replied June 25th, 2009
You are very lucky...most of us are not...but I accept tht guys looking at other gals is not the end of the world...just pretty much normal.
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replied June 25th, 2009
londoneye

then he should at least do it when you're not around.
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replied June 25th, 2009
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it's normal for guys to look at other women, but you have to understand some guys are disrespectful. some guys stare hard, some guys make noises while theyre with theyre women.
my mom told me her ex husband stared at this women's legs so hard while they were in church. someone told the women to get up and move. my mom was so embarrassed.
my boyfriend is so respectful to me, he looks but he never disrespect me. i m his queen!
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