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My husband has lost interest in me

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I know this may seem a little odd but my husband has completly lost interest in our sex lives. I started to go through menopause about 6 years ago (at 44) and then when menstruation completly stopped (12 months ago) I felt liberated! I was enjoying sex more than I had for years and was really happy that I no longer had periods that would restrict me. But my husband who had always been interested in sex just stopped touching me and flirting with me. I have noticed he looks at other women now too in a sexual way which he has never done before. I went out and bought some sex toys to spice things up, he didn't want to use them. I bought some sexy lingerie, he was disinterested. I tried to talk to him about it and he won't.

I am now feeling old, useless and severely unattractive. I know this isn't true as I have many men flirt with me and have the occasional "offer" but still the only man I have ever wanted is my husband and I am devestated to say the least.

Please help me I am getting to the stage where I could honestly do myself some harm.
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replied April 5th, 2012
Midlife affair
I had the same problem but unfortunately I was the one uninterested in sex due to (I finally figured out) my declining hormonal levels during perimenopause and then even worse when real menopause started. My husband then started an affair. In some ways I didn't blame him because I was totally uninterested but then when I tried to make things up he rejected me so I felt the same as you. I know it is hard but you could ask him if he is having an affair or thinking about it. It's better to ask then to end up in divorce without trying to work it out. Good luck.
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replied July 12th, 2012
My wife and I are going through it now. We are both over 50 and are empty nesters. We both love each other very much, but the buildup of sexual stress and tension I feel, not to mention the frustration is causing problems already. When we do have sex it's always the same thing and kinda boring. It's like she is trying to appease me but she brings nothing to the table except a vagina. I've tried talking to her about it and ideas to add a little fire to the bedroom, but she seems almost uncomfortable even talking about it. I wish I knew what to do. It looks like rough water ahead, or a celibate life. Neither is very appealing.
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