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Mental Health > Depression Forum > My girlfriend is mentally ill and is making me depressed
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Q: My girlfriend is mentally ill and is making me depressed
asked by: csd1028 on June 22nd, 2009
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I have a girlfriend who i love very much.We're both in our twenties we've been dating long term and i thought we were headed towards marriage. A few months into our relationship she revealed to me she suffers from extreme germaphobia as well as a very sever anxiety disorder. At first there were only a few things such as avoiding public bathrooms, she takes two hour showers, and she washes her hands a lot and i learned to deal with it. As of late though shes been getting much worse she cant touch almost anything and at some points she'll completely isolate herself from me which makes me feel like i'm doing something wrong even thought she assures me i'm not. She also refuses to tell me or anyone else whats bothering her. When shes in a good mood things are great but it only takes one small thing to completely ruin a day and then she wont even want to see me at all which makes me feel terrible. She sees a therapist and takes medication but sometimes its not enough. Monday she had a panic attack so severe she had to bre brought to the hospital and be sedated. I cant leave her becuase my feelings for her are still very strong and and i don't think either of us could handle it. We both still live with our parents and she had a major anxiety attack last night forcing me to bring her home. Her mom called me very early this morning while my girlfriend was still asleep she told me last night that my girlfriend confessed to wanting to kill herself ,because the anxiety had become too much to bare, so she wanted me to come over and make sure she didn't do anything in her absence this made me feel physically ill and made me extremely upset. When she awoke with me in the house she was really upset but she calmed down and it seemed like we would have a good day but after a few hours she had another attack made me leave saying i could comeback after her shower but now she wants me to stay away making me feel worse. Before i met her i suffered from depression as well but it seemed to dissipate because i've never felt so in love before. Now that i've become so attached its making it worse and i feel completely helpless because no matter how hard i try nothing cheers her up. I've been cring alot lately and i feel like i'm heading towards a breakdown. I have no idea what to do and no matter what i feel hopeless. I'm starting to hate myself.
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ServiceU
replied on June 25th, 2009
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you have no reason to hate yourself. i dont mean to be rude but i feel like she shouldve told you in the begining about her health issues.
have she talked to her therapist about changing her medication to something that is more effective. sometimes it may be a trial and error of picking the right medicaton. i say this because i took prozac and i didnt like it.
i m sorry to hear that your going through this. this problem seems overwhelming for you. i know you love her, but you are being drained out.
do you know what kind of medication she is taking?
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csd1028
replied on June 26th, 2009
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she did tell me relatively quickly but she id deeply ashamed of her condition.she recently started taking ativan and prozac.
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timeisshort
replied on June 26th, 2009
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Has any one ever thought of or suggested nutritional balancing to try & help her & you with the moods & deppression?
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csd1028
replied on June 28th, 2009
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i'm not quite sure what her therapists suggests. I'm not very familiar with that though.
Also things are getting worse it seems like everytime we have plans she cancels because of her phobia or something in regards to that i.e. she touched something dirty and she has to shower for two hours. also she is now taking two to three two hour showers daily.
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timeisshort
replied on June 28th, 2009
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i don't believe any therapist or medical person would be interested in helping with nutritional balance, it is some thing you could study yourself of gain help with from an orthomolecular nutritionist. are you, or she on any vitamin or mineral suppliments, i know for depression the Vit B complex is important as it helps with nerve function & nervousness, a good one should have all the B gtoup vitamins as well as calcium & magnesium which helps us be calm & balanced, a good place for you to learn about vitamin & mineral balancing is ithyroid.com this is an educational site & is valuable in knowing how & why we need to be balanced. if our bodies don't have the correct nutrients it cant function properly as a complete system.
Feel free to reply more if i can be of further help to you.
does your GF realise how we need bacteria etc to allow us to have a healthy immune system?
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csd1028
replied on June 29th, 2009
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ok I'll take a look at the site. And yes she does realize this but like any phobia its an irrational fear so she doesnt think about it in a rational manner like you and i might.
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timeisshort
replied on July 2nd, 2009
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i had this same problem nearly ten yrs ago, mine was a mild case & the only thing that seemed to change was diet so i can assume that change gave me a different nutritional access that helped clear the problem, i don't to this day remember what it was or could have been that helped.
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csd1028
replied on July 9th, 2009
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i feel so utterly useless. Things get better for like a min we'll have an amazing day then the next they'll be ten times worse. I feel like my life is out of control. I keep pushing myself to be stronger to support her and for a short time i'll feel ike i'm a good boyfriend because she'll cheer up but then they get worse again and i just don't know what to do. I can't sleep. I have to force myself to eat most of the time because i never feel hungry anymore. I've lost weight to the point my mom has noticed. Also i keep experiencing mild to severe pain in my chest and stomach. I don't know what to do anymore and i'm losing hope. I know this isn't her fault and she cant control it so i tend to just blame myself. I just want to be happy again but its starting to feel more and more out of reach.
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