My girlfriend and I are in a healthy relationship of over 12 months. We are both adults, so no need to worry. In october, we decided that we both wanted to lose our virginity to one another. So we did. The first few times we had sex, weren't great, I orgasmed quickly, and she was in a lot of pain. The next few times were like this, and from what I understand, the pain didn't hurt quite as bad as it did the first time. We assumed that with time, the pain would go away, and that she too could enjoy sex. Naturally, she was excited for this transition to occur (as was I). But the pain seemed to never really go away completely for her. That is, we cannot have sex without her being in signifigant pain. We have tried lubricated condoms, and she had said that they help a little, but not fully. She can barely withstand missionary style, but any other position asolutely kills her. Eventually, with college and other responsibilities, we both kinda gave up on improving our sex life. Currently, we have sex, at the most, once evry 2 weeks. I feel like this is not enough for two healthy college students who do not wrk full time. And she agreed, but she said because of the pain she's in, she really can't handle too much more. . She can barely withstand missionary style, but any other position asolutely kills her.(Please not that I do not blame her at all for not wanting todo something that hurts)
In addition to the pain that she experiences during sex, she also does not feel any "good" kind of feeling during sex. Also, we are very honest about our sex life, and both accept the fact that we're boh new to the whole thing. During other sexual activities, such as me giving her oral sex, or fingering her, she says that the oral sex does not hurt, but feels almost no different than if I were to be doing the same thing to any other part of her body (basically it doesn't feel good or bad). She says the same goes for the rubbing of her clitoris.
I am open to the idea that I am doing these things incorrectly, but I have seeked advice and developed what I feel to at least be a decent and standard technique for each of these.
She has never orgasmed around me, and she does not masturbate through fingering or any sort of clitorial touching. (she does the leg crossing thing). I have suggested that maybe if she were to try and masturbate with me in the room, her body would be more willing to do it while we were intimate. We haven't had the chance to try it yet. I have also suggested that she try masturbating through fingering or clitorial rubbing on her own, in hopes that her body might find a desire for it.
So I guess my questions are:
1. WHat are your thoughts on the painful sex?
2. What are your thoughts on her not feeling any stimulation from the other sexual activities?
3. What do you think of my suggestions to her?