My girlfriend and I are in a relationship of almost 3 years. I'm 24 and she's 21. She sleeps over during the week and leaves on weekends to her family.
A while ago I was angry at her about something and talked angrily and with sheer exaggeration about this to a cyberfriend. I forgot to close my browser window at all and my girlfriend read that conversation and became angry in turn. We had a big fight over this, but some time passed and everything seemed normal since.
Last week I bought her some flowers, but upon receiving them she started crying and told me that since that conversation thing she lost, over time, her close feelings for me. She says she loves me in a way that she likes to be near me, to talk, to hug and kiss, but not in a way where she's overexcited to see me when she arrives on Mondays. Now she feels very confused, like when you never know what you want.
She also recently told me she's having some sort of crush on a guy at work (she doesn't know him very well). I took this badly and got very angry, and became more distant. I don't know if this was the correct approach. I just didn't want to just subconsciously become a Plan B (if I may) if she fails to get closer to that other guy, and maybe being distant could help her understand that I'm really not okay with this.
Today has been the longest day of my life and I really want to tell her how much I miss her and that I want everything to be like before, but I'm just afraid to become a nag to her and that she would even more want to leave and get to know the other guy.
For that reason, I haven't been very close to her last night and this morning when she left. I didn't know what to do. I know she's scared to lose me, but as I said above she's having a hard time to figure out what her feelings are.
Before she left this morning I told her that whatever happens, I really think a lot about her. She quietly nodded and gave me a kiss on the cheek before leaving.
I have no idea how she's doing now, what she thinks, or if she'd want me to call or to leave her alone. She's not the kind of person to give up easily, but at this point I can just expect anything!
Edit: I just got a phone call from her this evening to have some news (rather neutral tone). I was relieved and I ended up saying that I miss her, but she just said "okay" in a neutral tone too. Now I'm wondering if I shouldn't have kept this for myself
Do you have an opinion or advice about this? Should I contact her at the risk of being annoyingly sticky or should I leave her alone so she can focus on what she really wants?
I think you should leave her alone. Men chase what retreats. It sounds like you are doing that in this case. A relationship is between two people, I'm a girl and would be mad if my bf were to talk to a cyber friend about our relationship..but that's me. She obviously lost her trust in you and words don't fix things like that. I would just say that YOU need space to get things straight in your own head...and take a week (atleast) and think about the whole thing.
Too soon (I think) for the relationship talk or anything deep. The reason new guy is sooo appealing is the fact that it's drama free and fresh. You need to be drama free and fresh and unavailable right now. It will get HER thinking. Promise.