I am 17 and have never had a boyfriend let alone a male friend. I admit I have been sexist in the past so I felt ne need to get involved in realationships. My family and I were nevr that open with each other, but Ive never had a boyfriend they thought I was a lesbian. It was very annoying but it never bothered me. Eventually I started liking my only guy friend and we started going out. I didnt want to tell my family becouse I was unsure how they would react. I didthink tbey would be happy though that I a straight. I had my mom take me and my boyfriend to the mall where we held hands in front of her so she would realize were dating. For a long time it was never mentioned, but one day we were driving my least liked older brother around when she mentioned him, and began making fun of him. She disaproved of how he is 'asian' even though he is white with a little hispanic, how he dressed, his hair, and his looks. She said she hoped we werent dating, but I stayed silent. A few days later I askd if he could come to the mountains with us, she said no. Dissapointed, I asked mygrandmother who I live with sometimes if I could have him overr for dinner since she approves of him. I had to ask my dad and he said no. So at said dinner event without my boyfriend, the same older brother I mentioned earylier noticed a really stupid mistake I had made, a hicky. Now since I had no other boyfrieds I had noidea what was "bad" or"good" to do. Stupid me, I didnt no it was such a horrible thing that everybody had to make such a big deal over it I hadto lock myslef in a room to cry so they wouldnt harrass me. My boyfriend and I to this day had dne nothing else besides kissing, but I still felt dirty and sl*tty. The only people there for me was my grandmother and my sister in law from my other brother. When I got to my parents house that night my mom yelled at me somemore, but then my breaking point was when my dad came. He called me a wh*re, threatened to kill him and said I would get pregnant like my mother did when she was a teenager. I cried for days and days, the only times I could be happy was when I was away from my family. One day my boyfriend walked me to my moms car when she picked me up from school becouse I felt to sick to take the bus. My least favorite brother was in the car, he believed me and my boyfriend were messing around, so he started harrasing me. I felt horrible already so I told him "you dont know anything so be quiet." He jumped in the backseat and began choking me until my vision turned dark. My mom pulled over, and at that point he saw my boyfriend walking on the sidewalk so he jumped out and started yelling at him in public. I was crying as I texted him to apologize, he didnt retaliate but he was extremly hurt that he was so hated by my family. This was the last straw for me, I was already hysterically crying, when my mom asked what was wrong afew hours later I told her we broke up. She belived me, even trued to console me (by giving me 20 dollars which I tried to decline). But ever since Ive been so much happier, I can love the person I want without drama, it finally relieved my depression. My boyfriend is my age, he is kind compassionate, smart (we both go to an advanced school) and even though he can be stupid and ignorant at times, we rarely fight, and get everything resolved within a day. He is my first boyfriend for almost 2 years now, no one I know has dated zomeone this long. We are both applying to the same college out of state, and hope to be together for much longer.
The problem is... my mom somehow has found out about him. She has only brought it up twice, which I ignored and she stayed neutral about it, but my depression is back. I dont want to be called a wh*re again and feel ashamed again. I definitly dont want anyone in my family to know, and it bothers me
becouse I dont know how she found out. What should I do?
Saving 