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My ex left me and now he wont talk to me because of his family.

My ex left me nearly 2 weeks ago now, because we kept arguing a few days before.
When he left i kept calling him begging him to come back but he just ended up changing his number and wouldnt talk to me about us online, all he would say is i need time to think so i let him have the time, during this time all his family were saying things online like dont get back with her you can do better and dont talk to her. His family also sent me horrible things saying that i dont deserve him. After a few days he came online and said it was over, he didnt want to give it another go, he wanted to get on with his life and then deleted and blocked me. I havent talked to him since but still can see that his family are saying horrible things. my friend has been talking to me and he said that he still loves me but in time we will be living different lives. (i didnt understand this)
I just feel like he was listening to his family. we was together 10 months, engaged and went on holiday abroad 3 times together and was also planning to try for a baby. I just dont know what to do, whether i should email him or just leave it but all i know is that i love him so much and really want to be with him.
please help
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First Helper jplove
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replied August 9th, 2009
Experienced User
I hate that you have to go through this emotional pain. Everyone goes through it at one point or another. If he has gone to the extreme of changing his # and deleting you online then I would not try to contact him. He will contact you if he wants to be with you. Sometimes, pushing people will only make them fall further from you.
If you leave him alone, he might come around soon. If not, it wasnt meant to be. Try not to stress over this. Time will heal your wounds and in the mean time, do things to occupy your mind and get out there and try to meet new people. I know it hurts but trust me, you will get over him and find someone new. Like I said, give him time. If he comes around, great, if not, move on and try to forget about him. Go do something fun with your friends!
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replied August 9th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
Hey xlil_samx
It sounds like he thought about things and decided he needed to end the relationship. If his parent's influenced him or his friends it was still his decision. He may change his mind later but it sound very much like he has made it for now and you need to respect that if you care about him at all. Even if you could convince him to take you back, what would have changed from the problems that caused the break-up?
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replied October 19th, 2009
relationship pain
Same thing happened to me. I just (literally) tried to call my ex. Her phone says the number has changed or disconnected. I think she blocked my number. She also blocked me from all sites too.
We were together for 3 years. We lived together. She went out with her cousin one day to hang out. I have never seen her again.
For awhile we talked (only via text & e-mail) about trying to work things out. But every time I accepted meeting, she canceled. Her friends also had a huge influence on that. Not only writing horrible things on her Facebook wall like' maybe we will get lucky & he will kill himself', but also writing me.
They invaded the relationship like a plague & gave her no way of saving face if she took me back.
I know where you are at. Because I am there too. The pain is unbearable for me. While I am sad & find it hard to do anything, she goes out & parties like it is just another day.
I am sorry, but i think both of us should have had patience & not contacted the other person. That really is the only way they would have come back. They would have missed us too much. Sometimes it is too little (or too much) too late.
Sorry!
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replied April 19th, 2010
let go or stay
should parent''s and friends come in the way in a relationship, in the end, it''s our partner''s decision that would matter. if our partner decide to break up then, it means he wants to think more of other people''s thoughts than thinking of his own happiness. same thing happened to me. so many times i''ve tried to patch things up but it''s hard to fight the war when it''s only you fighting. it takes two in the relationship, if he won''t cooperate, then its not your loss, at least you''ve done your best.

when you''ve done everything but the other rejects,better to let go and move on. in your absence, he can feel your value in his life.
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replied May 10th, 2010
I agree with jplove
I just went through a bad break up and what jplove said is right. Why waste your time on someone who is obviously influenced by others and what they think and let it influence his thoughts that he cannot see straight.
Family will never realize what they are doing is wrong. Never. They have their pride and will never admit it to ruining their child's life. For them, they are selfish in that we provided all this to our kid and they owe us and hence we have rights as parents to influence in their life because of our 'infinite wisdom' and fortune telling knowledge that this will work or not.
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replied December 18th, 2010
Time will heal..
Well same thing happened to me! Twice! The first time I was engaged and the guy I was engaged to had a problem where he was so easily influenced by others, he cheated and has stalked me for about two years now. It was the worst break up I have ever experince because it was my first real grown-up relationship, I had a nervous breakdown and suffered for depression for a long time... Then a year later I met my new bf, so this guy is really close to his family. He has a single mom, and a single older sister who is 32 years old, and another older sister who is married but still lives at home. anyway, so they are so demanding upon him and basically and don't respect him. anything I would do was wrong and would talk bad about me, that I had no manners. But these women were the most jealous, possesive, and foul mouth women, and I was the one who didn't have manners! Anyway,so they started influencing my ex, telling him I was trying to control him and keep him away from his family. So not true... even his best friend was jealous, cause he was a alcoholic dumped by his girlfriend, because his !**@! could not grow up. My bf attitude started changing about me and it was way too much and just broke up with him, I haven't heard a peep from him since!

His whole family blocked me on facebook! Tells you what kind of people they are! But here is my advice! Time will heal your heart, it does, you will learn to fall in love with caution and intelligently. Each relationship and experince you will learn what you want in a partner and you will guide your own heart in your next opportunity so to not repeat the same mistakes and you will learn how to give your heart to a man who earns and proves his trust and love through his actions and not his words. Trust actions speak louder than words, words don't mean anything! Just listen to the guys though go slong with it, but silently observe and see if it happens, without them knowing that you are not taking anything the say as is.

Your ex like my ex probably said mean things about you to his family because he was mad etc... his family used this to fuel their dislike against you. Unfortunately your ex like my ex are cowards who are too scared to stand up and fight againt someone they care about. This guy I have dated has had only two girlfriends and he's 28! If you would have ended up with him you will have been miserable, these family members would have made you feel like bad and he wouldn't do anything about it. Sadly, but he does not have the maturity to go for what he wants and he's too controled by his family to really fight for you. Sadly for him, because no one will ever be good enough for this guy or my ex. Only a fat ugly, boring, plain, loser, who listen to what they say would be good enough for their little boy (your ex and mine). But she will only be a slave in their eyes and he will conform to it because his family approves. On the other hand, you are capable of love and want real love and you want a family. Something that is honest and beautiful. You deserve someone who can prove that to you and can give you that.

Don't contact him, he needs to be the one to contact YOU! He is the stupid one, but don't wait for him or expect anything, you'll learn to deal with this in time. I don't expect anything from my current ex, because I understand the reality of the situation. Was I sad the second time around yeah like a week, but then I got over it.

Time heals all and I know you feel like its an injustice and its not fair, but time will make you realize that this man is not for you, and although it feels like , "but we are suppose to be together, and you can't live without him", it will get better. I agree with the post go out, meet people, but never lead anyone on if you;re not ready. Don't get bitter, don't hate men, develop yourself as a woman, so this never happens to you again. Pray and distract yourself.
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replied April 29th, 2012
>3 weeks ago I was engaged and both madly inlove and planned to get married in december
> From the begining i have noticed that his sister and brothers wife are very controling of henry my fiance.
>
> I never said anything about his sister but his brothers wife got on my last nerve, she would tell him what to do abd try to controle him infront of me.
> I always told him to put limits yo her coz things were getting out of hand and it was like i didnt exist.
>
> They would get very upset if my fiance didnt do wgat they want and they did not get that he was engaged and me and him were planning our future.
>
> We kept fighting together coz i wanted him to put limits to his brothers wife specially that i will be living in the same building with his sister and brothers wife. They were not only trying to controle him only they were trying to cobtrole me and they would get upset coz they couldnt.
>
> My parents and friends started opening my eyes that he has no personality abd how will ur life be with him.
>
> To cut the story short at the end he understood whats going on with his brothers wife and he promissed to put limits for her coz she was out of controle.
>
> The day he put limits on her it got out of controle and the whole familly got involved and i turned out to be the bad person and he left me.
>
> I tried to talk to him and fix things and even told him lets not get the familly involved at the end we love each other abd we will get married.
> He would agree and as soon as he is away from me he would get scared if they knew he is back with me. For 3 days same senario. Then he tells me to go tqlk to his sister and brothers wife and convince them and make them like me so me and him can be together.
>
> Im shocked and lost and i feel as i never knew him. He is 38 years old and iam 32. We r not kids.
>
> All the people i know r telling me to wake up abd he is not a man and life with him will be controled by his familly.
>
> He is scared for them to even feel that he might be talking to me again.
>
> He just left me like that im hurt and really shocked.
>
> I tried everything to get him back but now i will dissapear.
>
> Im really hoping he loves me like he showed me all this time and that he becomes a man and has personality to fight for our love. Coz honestly im tired of defending what he did infront of familly and friends coz im starting to feel they r right.
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replied April 29th, 2012
> Well here is my sI was engaged and both madly inlove and planned to get married in december
> From the begining i have noticed that his sister and brothers wife are very controling of henry my fiance.
>
> I never said anything about his sister but his brothers wife got on my last nerve, she would tell him what to do abd try to controle him infront of me.
> I always told him to put limits yo her coz things were getting out of hand and it was like i didnt exist.
>
> They would get very upset if my fiance didnt do wgat they want and they did not get that he was engaged and me and him were planning our future.
>
> We kept fighting together coz i wanted him to put limits to his brothers wife specially that i will be living in the same building with his sister and brothers wife. They were not only trying to controle him only they were trying to cobtrole me and they would get upset coz they couldnt.
>
> My parents and friends started opening my eyes that he has no personality abd how will ur life be with him.
>
> To cut the story short at the end he understood whats going on with his brothers wife and he promissed to put limits for her coz she was out of controle.
>
> The day he put limits on her it got out of controle and the whole familly got involved and i turned out to be the bad person and he left me.
>
> I tried to talk to him and fix things and even told him lets not get the familly involved at the end we love each other abd we will get married.
> He would agree and as soon as he is away from me he would get scared if they knew he is back with me. For 3 days same senario. Then he tells me to go tqlk to his sister and brothers wife and convince them and make them like me so me and him can be together.
>
> Im shocked and lost and i feel as i never knew him. He is 38 years old and iam 32. We r not kids.
>
> All the people i know r telling me to wake up abd he is not a man and life with him will be controled by his familly.
>
> He is scared for them to even feel that he might be talking to me again.
>
> He just left me like that im hurt and really shocked.
>
> I tried everything to get him back but now i will dissapear.
>
> Im really hoping he loves me like he showed me all this time and that he becomes a man and has personality to fight for our love. Coz honestly im tired of defending what he did infront of familly and friends coz im starting to feel they r right.
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