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My depression and stress is killing me

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I am so depressed. I have so much going on and my stomache hurts because of the things I am depressed about. I am 17 and I live in a group home. My birth father is in prison. I talked to him for the first time two years ago through a letter. I got a letter from him yesterday and it is telling me about his wife who is trying to get him to move away from me. He said it's not happening. He gave me her number and told me to call her. I did she kissed up to me and lied. I talked to my birth fathers mother for the first time yesterday as well. She said his wife is a liar and is cheating on him. It kills me. I love my father even though I have never met him and I plan on moving in with him when he gets out of prison. I am stressing about how I am going to get to the prison and how I am going to get my stuff there and I don't know what to do.
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replied September 24th, 2011
Okay first thing you need to do is breathe. calm down and take a deep breath. clear all the stuff youve been worried about from your mind and just relax for a second.

The reason that your getting so overwhemled is because when your thinking anout your choices your thinking about the it as a whole.

What you need to do is break down the problems you are having and take them one step at a time.

Look at your problems like a to do list. one step at a time. you are very capable of sorting this stuff out.

firstly, take a second to appriciate whats happened to you. youve spoken to your grandmother for the first time. take joy in knowing that youve found another part of your life you didnt have before. thats a very special thing.

secondly, you feel like you cant trust your dad's wife. write down the reasons you feel like you cant trust her including what your grandmother has said. then when you speak to your dad discuss these issues with him. tell him that you are worried about his relationship with her and therefore worried about your future as you dont know if shes going to allow you to be with your dad.

thirdly, you need to find within yourself the strength to be self-sufficient. At the end of the day youve survived this long without your dad and if things dont work out with him your world wont fall apart. youve already prooved you can live without him.

once youve done these things youll have more information. the best way of working out problems or making a decision is to gather as much information as you can. that way you can make a sensible knowledgable decision.

write everything down as it progresses and tackle each problem one at a time. if it works out that you cant show your dad that this person is not for him then thats his problem he's a big boy he can take care of himself. you need to look after you and stop worrying about things you have no control over. i.e. your dads relationship. if he loves you he will do everything he can to stay close to you and if he decides to go with the lady and move away from you then, maybe he's not someone you should depend on. He might be your dad and nothing will change that, but at the end of the day you need to do whats going to help and empower yourself.

good luck hun i hope this helps. just remember no problem is too big to be solved, you just need to slow down and make your "to do list" once you start ticking things off the list, youll see your issues slowly resolve themselves. and it wont be so overwhelming anymore.

xx
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replied October 3rd, 2011
hi ..friend hope u are having really a bad time ...i watched this video once .plz see this...there are people around us even like this.......must watch it.....i hope u will feel better....
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replied October 4th, 2011
Nikki,
You are stressed because you have a lot to be stressed about. Sometimes it is good to acknowledge that things are not ok. If you are trying to feel ok about a bad situation, you may just make it worse. You need at least one healthy adult in your life. It sounds like perhaps you have found one in your biological grandmother. If you trust her, and it sounds like you do, go with that feeling. Get closer to her, talk to her, and listen to her. She is your best medicine. It is through connection with (healthy) others that we grow and heal, especially when young. Good luck.
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