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My boyfriend wants to finger me, what if it gets out of control?

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I went to my boyfriend's house yesterday and we mainly hung out in his room... It was a bit odd at first but then we both relaxed and I was snuggling with him and it was really nice and we were like that pretty much the whole time then he was like I have a creepy question for you.. I was like ask it.. Thinking how bad could it be? Well he asked me if he knew what fingering was and I said yea and then he asked me another quesiton.. Only more personal.. He said.. " do you play with yourself?Did u ever fingered in private?" I was like... I am not gonna answer that... Then I admitted it and said yea.. Then he asked " do you want me to finger you?" I was like no... He kept asking why not why not? I said I just don't want to.. Can we please quit talking about this? I feel like you are pressuring me into something you don't want to do. He said no I am not and I said yes you r... Then we dropped it... What if he asks me again? He is 22 years old and I am 21... I would let him even i want to relax with his hands but what if things get out of hand? I am staying abstinent until marriage and that is final... I kinda want to let him but I do not want to take the risk of not being able to control myself. As well as him too... Cause him kissing me turns me on a lot... So what would letting him finger me do? I don't know what to do!! He seems to love me and I said I did not want to and he did not get angry so I do not think he would break up with me or anything... I mean it is just fingering... But again I do not want things to get out of control...Also i dont want to loose him....
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replied April 14th, 2012
Honey, if you trying stay abstinent (by the way bravo)then you can't do anything that remotely resembles sex. Its really tough I know. But fingering is going to lead to something else. It feels good and when he does it its only going to make you feel better thereby opening the tumbling blocks to more. He's going to get turned on by the fact that you got off and he's going to want to take it further. And, so will you. If your really trying to remain abstinent until marriage, don't do it! Or, don't let him do it. Good luck
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replied April 20th, 2012
Experienced User
Abstinence is unhealthy. If you really wanna abstain, fine. But you shouldn't feel guilty about getting physical pleasure. I say let him finger you. And if it leads to sex just make sure you use a condom.

Honestly, though, your relationship sounds really weird. Why would he say he had a creepy question for you? What does he think is creepy about it and why would he ask it if he thought it was creepy? If you're in a relationship you shouldn't feel so uncomfortable talking about sex.
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