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my boyfriend left me during my pregnancy!! (Page 1)

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K, umm im 5 months pregnant, at the beginning my boyfriend was sceptical about having the baby but after about 2 days he was ok & even happier than i was. then 2 months after we found out he just broke up w/ me. i thought it was nothing & he was just mad, he'll be calling me in a couple of days & then a week went by he didnt call at all so i decided to call him on that friday...& i was like whats going on? he was just like we're not working. but he couldnt give me a specific reason as to why everything was ending completely. i called him a couple of time trying to talk & fix whatever this was & he was like theres no fixing it..i was like well your over it im not what do u expect me to do, he was like babe i really dont care im not trying to be mean im just telling the truth! so after that i was like i cant allow him to hurt me anymore so i just stopped calling & stuff. when i found out we were having a boy he called & we talked for hours about everything, i thought he was turning back into the guy i fell in love w/...but come to find out he's back w/ his 2yo daughters mother [but wait theres a catch the child isnt really his, the girl cheated on him & he found out through some friends, so he got a blood test & it was negative..he was there the whole time so he just consider her as his.] anyway me & his sister still talk so, i guess the girl thought that i was still talking to him also & she called the sister asking if me & him stilled talked...she was like she really doesnt know! so i guess the girl took that as a yes & her and my ex got into an argument. out of no where once again he called me & he sounded upset when i answered the phone & he was like, didnt i tell you from the start to have an abortion, man i told you i didnt want it...right then i was speechless! & so he goes on to say, i know u talk to my sister but do me & u talk.. i was like no, where is this coming from? he was like my babymama think that me & you are still talking & messing around...at that point i was upset so i was like i really dont care what she thinks & i hung up the phone! he called right back, i didnt answer the phone, then he called me around 2 in the morning...i had cooled down by then so i decided to talk to him & he was like im sorry for the way i was acting earlier, you know i love our son & i do want him...its just that she(the babymama) told me i had to choose!!!!! i was like what the ..., how does she expect you to choose between your first child & your first biological child? he said i dont know thats why i think im going to leave her b/c she's being unreasonable & i'll be over there later on today so we can talk. now i was excited at that moment b/c i thought i was getting my baby back, buuuuuuuuut he didnt show or call. the next day i called him & he sent me to voicemail! i havent heard from him since. im not over him, i cry almost everytime i think of him not being here, i love this guy to death & i really dont want anyone else! SHOULD I JUST WAIT ON HIM UNTIL HE REALIZES THAT HE DOES WANT TO BE HERE!...OR SHOULD I JUST LET IT GO, MOVE ON, & JUST RAISE MY SON ALONE WHEN HE ARRIVES? Crying or Very sad
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First Helper calik8
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replied May 10th, 2008
Experienced User
im almost 34 weeks pregnant, and my partner of 14 months left me on thursday. All he said to me was that he cant do this anymore, that he doesnt want to lead me on thinking something will happen when it wont and to find myself a new man, and then walked out. I was living with him at the time, when i spoke to him later that day he said he didnt love me and that he never would, that i deserve better than him. The stress put me into pre term labour. Luckily i got to the hosp and they stopped it, but they say im going to have baby in the next couple of weeks. This is all after he promised me he would never leave and blah blah blah. I moved out today when i got out of hospital, and even though i love him, i am not waiting for him- i am going to move on eventually because if he can do it once, he can do it again. this is my personal choice, and nobody can tell you what to do. I hope hearing my story helped.
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replied October 19th, 2014
I know a significant amount of time has passed since this post but may I have an update on how your situation played out? First- how is your beautiful son or daughter? Second- did you and him ever reconcile? My BF left me recently when I was 10 weeks pregnant and gave me the same reasons. I told him if he started dating or sleeping with anyone I would never forgive him for being disloyal. I'm 12 weeks now and yesterday because I denied him sex he said that he will start dating other ppl. He thinks that it is ok for us to sleep together and him not want anything more but that's not ok with me. He said he didn't know if he would want to work things out again right now he just needs sex. I wasn't a jumpoff (booty call) when we met and I won't be a jumpoff baby momma. At this point i'm prepared to move on. I will let him be apart of the child's life but for me I can never forgive him leaving me when I needed him most. So my question to you is did he try to return?
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replied May 10th, 2008
kerryn wrote:
im almost 34 weeks pregnant, and my partner of 14 months left me on thursday. All he said to me was that he cant do this anymore, that he doesnt want to lead me on thinking something will happen when it wont and to find myself a new man, and then walked out. I was living with him at the time, when i spoke to him later that day he said he didnt love me and that he never would, that i deserve better than him. The stress put me into pre term labour. Luckily i got to the hosp and they stopped it, but they say im going to have baby in the next couple of weeks. This is all after he promised me he would never leave and blah blah blah. I moved out today when i got out of hospital, and even though i love him, i am not waiting for him- i am going to move on eventually because if he can do it once, he can do it again. this is my personal choice, and nobody can tell you what to do. I hope hearing my story helped.



i understand where you're coming from..i know i need to move on but i feel like its impossible b/c i've never loved anyone this much. he's the FIRST person i've actually opened up to completely! && he actually lived w/ me @ home w/ my parents, it seems like when he moved out thats when everything just went sour..we were still together but he was just acting really weird. my sister told me that he's going to come back as soon as the baby's born..but i dont even know if i will want him back after that b/c the only reason he'll be coming back is b/c of the baby! im just going to leave him alone!! Thx for taking the time out to read this!! Very Happy
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Thanks for your patience!

replied January 20th, 2013
I am now pregnancy 12 weeks and the man walked out saying he has no love to me and doesn't want to responsible for anything. In fact, he was the one that trying to get me pregnant before. Such a painful that a man you thought would start the family together and kind , now become totally cruelness man I ever met.

I am not saying I am perfect but I know myself having hormone up and down badly. Feeling so annoying and hopeless at the moment.

Thanks for all to have this page to share!

A mother to be!
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replied July 13th, 2013
That was a sorry move and regardless of the attachment, your child is his biological child and 1st son. I'm not saying that he should abandon the little girl, but lets be real his babymother played him and his dumb behind sitting there worried about what she thinks. Let the idiots have each other. I know it's hard when u love someone but you have to get focused on you and the baby.
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replied May 10th, 2008
Experienced User
You are so right. If he does come back when the baby is born, it will be short term and then reality will set in, and he will be gone again. It is his loss, and he will eventually realize that some day, but do not put your life on hold waiting for him to get his priorities straight. Obviously, he isn't responsible and cares more about himself than you, his unborn son, the two year old daughter, or her mother. I know you think you love him, but when someone else comes into your life and treats you and this baby with respect and the love you deserve, you will then realize what TRUE love is. Cut all ties now, your first priority is your health and the health of your new son. I am sorry you are going through this. I am not a psychologist, I just feel sorry for what you are dealing with. Again, RESPECT yourself and tell him you have your priorities straight, and you and your son come before anything or anyone else!!!!!!!!! BE STRONG!!!!!
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replied May 11th, 2008
Experienced User
yeh, i love my ex still too, and as much as i want him back, i wont take him back. If they have the gall to leave at the time we most need them, then theyll just do it again when the time suits them. It sucks but thats the reality of a lot of males these days. At least your ex had to move out, i had to move because the house we were in was in his name, and it hurt too much to be there anyway!
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replied May 11th, 2008
I am 5 weeks pregnant. I have been dating a married man that said he was separated and come to find out was not. He was fine with the pregnancy at first then after I contacted is wife after some suspicion she told me everything and I did the same. He is threatening me to get an abortion and is wealthy with a wealthy family name. I do ok, I work as a parallegal but am stretched with buying a house and private school for my 9 year old. Very confused. Any advise?
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replied May 11th, 2008
eeyore46 wrote:
Again, RESPECT yourself and tell him you have your priorities straight, and you and your son come before anything or anyone else!!!!!!!!! BE STRONG!!!!!



Thx alot!! && next time he calls im definiteley going to tell him this!!
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replied May 14th, 2008
Experienced User
Sorry
Sorry But any so called man who leaves you while your preg. with his child isn't worth taking back. Any "man" that tells you to get an abortion isn't worth it either. There are a ton of single mothers out there struggling to raise their kids. Happens every single day. They can do it and so can you. If you feel like you can't do it alone adoption is always an option. Good luck!
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replied May 14th, 2008
Experienced User
Pregnant and single in Houston
You can do it and he IS the father! If he plays - he pays! Don't let him off the hook! If he is wealthy or not, there is no reason he can't help you financially - you didn't get pregnant on your own! How old are you? Don't let someone scare you into an abortion - what a selfish person he is. Good luck, and as you know with a 9 year old, they are worth it. Also, there is a lot of single mothers out there and a lot of financial help for them. PM me if you need help! Stay strong and stick to your beliefs!
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replied November 1st, 2011
I live outside of houston.My guy left me as soon as he saw the pregnacy test,then he had the nerve to say he was not sure it was his.he is the only man i have ever sleep with and I know he knows its his.his mom said marriage was BS and does not want him to ever get married.She is catholic and I am pentecoastal.She hates me cause she thinks im weird cause i am a feminest I have 20 acres and a large home paid for.According to her thats not lady like to be educated and come from a wealthy family.whats worse he did not even have a JOB or anything of his own I loved him for his inside.No other woman wants him.I dont understand how he could dump someone who loved him and gave thereself to him.Men are pigs.children are raised by there mother not there father and god gave us strength and brains for a reason!For all women who are raising kids on there on . you are every womans and childs hero.God Bless yall.May the dead beat dads go straight to hell.
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replied November 1st, 2011
I live outside of houston.My guy left me as soon as he saw the pregnacy test,then he had the nerve to say he was not sure it was his.he is the only man i have ever sleep with and I know he knows its his.his mom said marriage was BS and does not want him to ever get married.She is catholic and I am pentecoastal.She hates me cause she thinks im weird cause i am a feminest I have 20 acres and a large home paid for.According to her thats not lady like to be educated and come from a wealthy family.whats worse he did not even have a JOB or anything of his own I loved him for his inside.No other woman wants him.I dont understand how he could dump someone who loved him and gave thereself to him.Men are pigs.children are raised by there mother not there father and god gave us strength and brains for a reason!For all women who are raising kids on there on . you are every womans and childs hero.God Bless yall.May the dead beat dads go straight to hell.
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replied May 22nd, 2008
Active User, very eHealthy
Wow my baby's dad left me when I was only 5 weeks pregnant, and now he denies our baby, I know how you feel. Though i'm over him, I just want to see him suffer at this point.
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replied May 23rd, 2008
Experienced User
Ameythyst_Butterfly

Take him to court, have a DNA and have a court order make him pay child support - that will hurt him!!!! A man hurts when it hits his pocketbook!
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replied May 28th, 2008
Supporter
God some guys are real jerks! Fancy leaving a women when she's pregnant with they're child. You have to be strong now and you all sound as though you are strong minded and so at the end of the day it's their loss.

Harmony1 xo
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replied June 11th, 2008
:(
I know you posted this a month ago but i just wanted to respond and say this recently happened to me as well. I'm due any day or week now(37 weeks pregnant) and my boyfriend and me were supposed to move into a place on Sunday but at the last minute he backed out. I can't even find another place for myself before our lease is up at our current apartment so now i think i'm going to have to move back to my parents house that i haven't lived at in 2 years and there's no room there but i do appreciate them giving me the offer. Anyway, yeah it's a horrible situation. I hope that your guy turned around. I don't understand why some men get freaked out about the fact that they're going to be a father and run away. I hate the thought of raising the baby without him. I was looking forward to doing this with him..having him there to enjoy the special moments of parenthood with me. I know i'm going to be extremely happy when my son is here, but it will feel sad as well not having him there next to me to enjoy it all. He says he still wants to share custody of the baby, but I hate the thought of going a couple days without being around my baby! I wanted us both to be with the baby everyday and be a family! Ugh i just hope he comes around..this just isn't like him.

Anyway, sorry i rambled on..i'm just really emotional, and even if nobody reads this, it's still nice to type about it lol. But i hope you're doing okay and that things got better for you!! Let me know what happened Smile
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replied August 18th, 2011
Dumped at 32 weeks...
I am pretty much in the same boat. I was 32 weeks pregnant...my bf moved us into a new house and within a week broke up with me and told me I could leave. He is sleeping with other women, yells at me, at the stress also caused me to go into pre-term labor. I am on bed rest and cant even leave, even though he asks me to. I don't care what our personal issues are or were, any man who dumps a woman when she is pregnant and clearly doesn't care is a sorry excuse for a human being. I am trying to get out of here ASAP. But the bed rest they put me on makes it hard obviously. I love my bf, but I will never forgive him for what he has done to me the last month or so. If they cared for the child they wouldn't put the mom through this while pregnant! I hope and pray baby and I will be ok.
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replied June 11th, 2008
Especially eHealthy
Yeah, someone's really going to give their baby up for adoption to a woman who calls herself a "sweet ass white chick".

Stop trolling eHealth for babies. Open your home for foster care if you want to make a difference.
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replied June 12th, 2008
haha
AyaMiyaki wrote:
Yeah, someone's really going to give their baby up for adoption to a woman who calls herself a "sweet ass white chick".


LOL! I was thinking the same thing when I read that reply!
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replied June 12th, 2008
Experienced User
I guess a I missed that reply, who suggested adoption and why does she call herself that - are they on the forum?
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replied June 12th, 2008
Especially eHealthy
eeyore46 wrote:
I guess a I missed that reply, who suggested adoption and why does she call herself that - are they on the forum?


The post was removed. It was a woman begging for people to email her if they didn't want their baby, because she's successful and can provide a good home, etc... and her email address was sweet_ass_white_chick at whatever dot com.
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replied June 12th, 2008
Experienced User
Oh - I understand now. Yeah, go to an adoption agency. I guess she doesn't want to pay any fees, so she thought she could get one for free on the health forum. If she is so successful, then she should be able to adopt legally. I agree, who would give their baby up to someone with that email adress!
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replied December 23rd, 2008
hurt and confused
I recently found out i was pregnant too, my boyfriend and i were happy, and he was the best, he cooked, helped me do laundry, he was just there, but all of a sudden these past few weeks he stopped coming by to see me, wouldn't even call and when he did call, he acted weird and when i confronted him about his actions he yelled and fought with me and said i liked fighting with him, its almost christmas and i hate not seeing him, he lives at home with his mom and he's never there, i feel so depressed i think he's seeing someone else and i can't prove it but his actions speak for itself, i don't want to go through this alone but i just feel he may never come back and he might when the baby is born, i wanna cry everyday but i stay strong for my baby, i love him so much but i don't know if he feels the same anymore, what should i do?
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replied January 24th, 2009
hurt and confused by diamond2008
I'm in a very similar situation and I'm approaching the end of my pregnancy. You have to remain strong for your baby. What helped me get through everything is prayer. My childs father stressed me out so much that I went into labor early but luckily the doctors were able to slow things down. Any man who disrespects you while you are pregnant is not worthy of you or your child. My childs father abandoned us just so he could go and get his stuff wet by some chick who he knows is infected with a permanent STD. That just totally discussed me and made me realize that he doesn't care about me or our unborn child because e could have brought that STD back to us. There are plenty of other men out there who are willing to father your child better than the biological father. I was totally amazed at the men who stepped up to the plate. As it was explained to me, a single mother with a child is bringing her child as a blessing. The deadbeat dad is missing out on his child's life, and he's a punk to run from his responsibility. You are blessed to have a baby and he should respect you even more for you carrying his child. At the end of the day always remember that a scorn woman is a paid woman. Get a good lawyer and be sure to read your states law book to get every penny out of him since he won't be around. Yep, I'm scorn. But please believe that my baby is going to get the best of everything. God does not like for people to mistreat His children and He will seek justice. This is not your battle. Please just focus on being happy during your pregnancy because you'll never get this time back.
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