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My boyfriend is extremely jealous

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Macias Experienced User
October 8th, 2008
My boyfriend is extremely jealous?
After spending two wonderful days with my BF, he called me today as usual asking how am I doing. I told him i'm fine just decided to visit a museum today and asked him if he wanna join me and he answered that no he's a little busy today... And his answer was clear that we are not going to meet today. He asked me with whom I am going, so i said with my flatmate (a girl), and he said yeah great. While i was on my way to the museum my flatmate received a call from a common friend (a guy) who said that he is so bored, so we suggested to him that he comes and join us in the museum, and he came with us.
Then while we were still in the museum my flatmate had to leave because she had to work. So Me and that friend we continued our visit, then afterwards we had a small walk in the city center and we even bought some sandwitches and we stayed near a fountain eating.
At that time (out of nowhere) suddenly i saw my BF passing in front of us. So I waved at him and waved at me and he just passed.
After 10 minutes I received an sms from him: (yes, yes, museum!).
So I quickly answered by another sms: yes darling i just finished my visit and my flatmate just left. Then i didn't get any call since then.
I'm terribly feeling bad. First: because his sms was like accusing me and mistrusting me. Second that he didn't call afterwards. Third: that I'm feeling guilty without commiting any guilt.
I wanted to meet him tomorrow. Now i don't know what to do, I should not apen this issue as it should not be a big point, because he should trust me. please advice me what to do.


I'm still not feeling good, I don't know what to expect from him tomorrow. And I am hesitating to write him an email now, but if i do so, that means that i'm justifying a guilt.
Or maybe I can write him just a normal email telling him what i have watched at the museum and ask him to go out tomorrow. Or shall I wait until tomorrow and if he doesn't call I call him?
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petery2k562
replied October 8th, 2008
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Your bf sounds very possessive and jealous.

And how come he said he was busy when he was really just taking a "walk" around the city??

Well whatever the reason, you should know that you did nothing wrong and you should do your best to explain it to him.

Soon he will trust you and stop being so jealous.

Anyway go talk to him and discuss what you are feeling with him and make sure he listens.

Good Luck

Peter
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Macias
replied October 8th, 2008
Experienced User
Thank you Peter for your answer. It made me feel better.
Actually when i saw him in the city he was in hurry, I think he was really busy... That's why he didn't even stop to salute me.

But anyway he had also the time afterwards to send me the short message.

After thinking about this issue, I have a mixed feeling: happy that he is jealous and angry that he misstrusted me.

Shall I write him a short email now? asking to meet him?
Actually i wanted him to join me in an official place, shall I ask him about that normally???

How can i open the issue with him?

Do you think this problem will be fixed soon or it will take time?
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worrywart01
replied October 9th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
I think you two should speak face to face, it works better that way..talk about things, is there a reason for trust issues in the relationship? maybe a previous relationship has scarred him...i think its cute for the guy to get just a little jealous, you know..lets you know he still cares, but to get overly jealous and go nuts isn't cool..just sit down and talk about the issue ask him why he feels he cant trust you and that comment is just getting to you
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petery2k562
replied October 9th, 2008
Supporter
Macias, you sound scared when you shouldn't be.

Meet him whenever you are comfortable but I suggest you do it as soon as possible.

When you talk to him, talk to him normally as if you were talking about the weather. You're not confronting him, you're not apologizing (You didn't do anything wrong), and you're definitely attacking him either.

Remember this talk that is about to take place is a discussion. A quiet discussion where you too will have a chance to openly and calmly talk about this issue. Never raise your voice or be aggressive, something tells me if you do things will never be resolved.

Talk where ever you are comfortable meeting him and on how to bring this up....

well just bring it up. It's not like it is a touchy subject or anything. You know you could start it like this:

"Hey, Honey I was wondering if something was the matter, you seem quite jealous or more so lately"

Okay, that may not be the best example but you get the idea. Bring it up like any other subject.

And how long this is going to take truly depends on your significant other. If you are truly willing to resolve this then it's all up to him.

I hope this helps.

Cheers,

Peter
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guest16163
replied January 1st, 2009
Hi Macias,

I just read your message and thought I'd write to you.
You guys may be back together by now and that's Ok but my concern is this.
If he doesn't trust you you'll never be completely happy.
In a relationship trust is soo important.
If you guys got it worked out that's great, otherwise take the time needed to think this over.
It's sometimes better to hurt now than later on when you're more involved with him; for example being married or having a family together.

I wish you the best.
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Ezzyway1
replied January 12th, 2013
Ignore him and act like the victim then he'll b begging u ur giving him to much importance and he has u where he wants u n no remember ur the women ur always in control without u there's no him! So tell him I can't believe u don't trust me I love u so much it hurts ... Then wen he replys becuz he will ignore him then later tell him I'm just to sad to talk then wait a while he will call n if he wants to hang be like idk I'm really hurt blah blah n that should teach him a lesson not to mess with u be kind but hurt ! It works like a charm
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