Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost a year now. Were 20, we love eachother. Will we get married? Who knows. We used to live together, I moved out because it was possibly too fast, but I know eventually we will move back in together. Its been assumed for the both of us that he is Bi-Polar. It's gotten to the point where he made the appointment for Next week to get checked. I need advice...
First off I've never been in a relationship with someone who has a mental ilness. I have NO IDEA how to handle these things. I have ADD myself and Its hard for me to remember things. This causes me to come off as a liar sometime. I have lied to him (not cheated) in the past so I understand he may be insecure in that aspect, but sometimes I know thats not the case. When we fight, I tend to fight back unwillingly, not taking his mental problems into consideration.
His family knows its a problem. I think he struggles with Bi Polar/ Anger issues/ and depression.
Everyone he loves or is close to in his life has hurt him in SOME way, wether a small situation or big; now he feels like he cant trust anyone.
Also, he's had a previous addiction to xanax when he was in high school about 3 years ago, and I'm worried he will get perscribed it and not tell his doctor about it.
I dont want to hear "Leave him" because I do love him and I want to be a part of helping him get better. I know things can get really bad, but when they're good, they're amazing<3
Whats the best ways to handle when he gets mad or goes through an episode? Easiest ways to compose myself when he flips (I tend to fight back)? He's been suicidal in the past, I can't let that happen again...
I'm probably the last person who would tell you to leave. But being in a relationship with someone who has bipolar disorder can be insanely rough, fair warning. I know, my wife has bipolar--it can get more complicated for us though, as I have schizophrenia. And yes, like you said, the good times are simply amazing. Anyway.
You're going to have to be able to stand with him through all the rough times--it's good that he's going to see a doc, though, bipolar can respond well to a combination of meds and therapy. You also may have to do some things you know are best for him, but you'll worry he'll hate you for, depending on how severe he gets.
As for how the meds work, any _good_ doc will tell you that no one really knows the answer to that. The theory is (assuming he is bipolar) that the balance of certain neurotransmitters in his brain is off, and the meds change that balance. Unfortunately, any given med can have quite a bit of variation from one person to another in terms of its effectiveness (and potential side effects), so there's likely to be a certain amount of trial and error involved in finding the right med(s) for someone. Certain meds don't play nice with others, either, so it's important for the doc to be aware of any other med, even herbal supplements. Meds can also take a while to reach full effectiveness, and they don't stop everything, no matter how well they work.
Note on his previous xanax addiction--he should probably avoid other drugs in that class also: benzodiazapenes. If you're worried about him not telling the doc about the xanax, find out what he does get prescribed, and contact the doctor's office with the truth if it turns out to be a benzo (you'd probably have to look it up drugs.com is a good starting place). Actually, I think you should call the doc before the appointment, but maybe that's just me.
Your boyfriend's anger could easily be part of his manic episodes, by the way.
I'd also suggest looking around the net some for some support sites, there's quite a few. given your situation, you might have a look at Life, Love, and Bipolar.
Bah, I had more to say, but I've run out of time. I'll check back.