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My bf slept with another girl while we were on a break

So last year, we decided to break up. After three months, we started talking again. We realized our mistakes and agreed that we both needed that time apart to figure things out. Then he went out of the country trip with his family for about two weeks. When he got back, he pursued me again and we got back together. I found a receipt from the hotel with a girl's number and email on the back. I learned that he slept with a girl and they were exhanging emails. She even sent him a pic! He messaged the girl saying "she is the most beautiful girl he has ever seen." I was devastated.I thought what we had was good. I was also confused and heartbroken. I confronted him about it. At first, he was hesitant to admit. But later on he told me that during his trip he was unsure of his feelings. Mad he was stupid but realized it is me that he loves. he show me in any way that he can that I can trust him again. A part of me wants to believe that it was just a fling, but a big part of me couldn't let go of the uglypast. I want to make it work, but how do I get over it??
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First Helper User Profile Mikolas
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replied September 29th, 2011
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Well if you two needed to take a break, then he probably figured during that time, he was single. You agreed to taking a break for whatever reason; him seeing another woman had nothing to do with you at that time if you weren't together. "Taking a break" obviously meant not being with you, at least to him. You have to look at it from his point of view. He probably didn't even realize he was cheating. Talk it out with him, and try to piece the relationship back together. He apologized and admitted he was stupid and made a mistake. He obviously is a very genuine and caring guy that loves you to death. If I were in your situation, I would most certainly give this guy another chance. But only you can decide that for yourself. Hope this helped and best of luck
Lylan
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replied October 12th, 2011
Hi Lylan,

Thanks for your response. Just to clear some stuff. Before he went on vacation, he expressed that he want to make things work. After he got back from vacation, we got back together. I also found out that he communicated with her after we got back together. He said stuff such as "you are the most beautiful girl I've ever laid my eyes on." He only admitted to it after I found out. I guess if he came clean and told me what he did, I would feel somewhat relieved.

He finally ended our relationship. He is going back on vacation with his mom this coming November. I gave him a hard time about it, and asked him to call me and to make sure he is "behaving." Am I wrong to ask for constant reassurance? He claimed that no matter how hard he tries, the thrust has already been broken and I would always doubt him.
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replied October 18th, 2011
Active User, very eHealthy
I think you answered your own question with the last post.

There is no point of a relationship where you are going to spend time having to question and ponder the other person's motives. It is incredibly surprising how often people try to pursue such relationships blindly without realizing that the whole point of it was lost a long time ago.

Having slept with the woman wasn't wrong in my opinion given that you guys did take a break. Was it the wisest decision, or the most thoughtful one (in consideration of you)? No, but people respond in many different ways during breaks. It was wrong of him to continue flirtatious conversation while he was attempting something with you however.

If you can't trust him, give up it, you'll only cause more problems to yourself and him if you try to make things work when you know your limitations.
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replied October 18th, 2011
Active User, very eHealthy
I think you answered your own question with the last post.

There is no point of a relationship where you are going to spend time having to question and ponder the other person's motives. It is incredibly surprising how often people try to pursue such relationships blindly without realizing that the whole point of it was lost a long time ago.

Having slept with the woman wasn't wrong in my opinion given that you guys did take a break. Was it the wisest decision, or the most thoughtful one (in consideration of you)? No, but people respond in many different ways during breaks. It was wrong of him to continue flirtatious conversation while he was attempting something with you however.

If you can't trust him, give up it, you'll only cause more problems to yourself and him if you try to make things work when you know your limitations.
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Users who thank Mikolas for this post: femalejaywalker 

replied March 8th, 2012
relationship
A relationship is like a glass, its nice and once its smashed its ugly on the floor, its harder to put the pieces together and the glass will hurt you!! Your post goes for example xxx
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replied July 30th, 2014
I think you should give him one chance. If this time, he again cheats then you go for a final breakup as he will be no longer trustworthy. Smile
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