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My bf is bipolar/schizoprhenic and im pregnant

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hey. im new here, so im just gonna start from the begining. i dont really know anything about bipolar, so please feel free to correct me if im wrong in anything i say.

i started seeing my bf in sep 2008. we got on fantastically, me and his mum got on really well, he loved my then 5 month old son to pieces. we had what ud call the perfect relationship. he took these tablets each night, he told me they were sleeping pills, cause he had trouble sleeping. i left it at that. his mum never mentioned anything to me. i was oblivious that there was a problem.

one day, in january this year (been together 6 months) he was up all night with my best mate chatting and that. i woke up and a completly different man was before me. he was constantly talking about government conspiracies, how he was this very important person in the rap industry and no one cud touch him. he became very volatile. he walked home one evening which is 12 miles away because i asked him not to drink the last of the babies juice. he had a complete breakdown, acting so so strange in public and to my friends. this lasted weeks, till one evening my friend phoned the police because he was phoning 999 constantly screaming at them that he was jesus christ himself and they couldnt touch him. he split up with me 3 times. he tore my heart and head to pieces.

this lasted till the march. amd i still had no idea. i blamed myself for the most part. it was only when i looked up his tablets on the net i found they were bipolar/schizophrenia in 13 to 18 yr olds. at that point i phoned his mum. i had such a go at her. someone should have told me! SHE should have told me. i was so angry, i have a child, a baby, and nobody thought to mention it! i told her he needed to be sectioned. he was getting aggressive and i couldnt handle it anymore. the things my son saw i will never forgive myself for. my bf is never violent to me, but emotionally and mentally he tore me apart. so his mum had him sectioned. he has just spent 3 months hospitalised and has been out a month.

we decided to givce it another shot and everything is going great again. except now ive fallen pregnant. im prepared to take this on, with my bf, but someone has to help me. someone needs to tell my what im dealing with. i have no idea how to handle bipolar, and i still dont know the type of schizophrenia. i need to talk to his mum about his illness, but she wont talk rite now as she is still reeling about the baby. im scard for the future. the more i read the more frightened im becoming. i do i deal with him? what do i do when he is screaming at me? how will he cope, if at all, with a baby? atm his meds make him sleep till any time after 3 in the afternoon, how will he wake up 4 a baby? i dont even no the signs of an episode, and ive bee ith him almost a year. we were so good, andim so in love, and he loves me.. i dont know what to do..

please someone help me, im so scared

hazel89
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replied August 3rd, 2009
well hunny , if you love your boy friend and want to make a go of thigs go for it , shoulnt be about his ilness , thats not important , if your with him you both have something , you must be some special person to still even be with him now , so obviously the ilness shouldnt be an issue , youve been strong enough to love your boy friend thriugh his problem so if you do want your child it wont take any moere effort to love your child xx thas my opinion
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replied August 3rd, 2009
bipopular is just like a severe depression stage , stick with him let him know your there , he will get through it, your not born with it , it comes on like a severe depression stage , he cant help it . does he seam frustrated and anxious and flsterd and very cut off from others . do the smallest of things frustrate him and worry him , does he get paranoid . xx
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replied August 3rd, 2009
thank you for that. your right. i do love him, and i do want this to work. at the moment he isnt any of the things you detailed in your other message, but he was, when he had his break down. im just so uneducated about the whole thing, i guess thats what scares me. thnak you for what you said, it really has made me feel better xx
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replied August 5th, 2009
Hi, I have Bipolar and I get very mad. It scares my girlfriend who is pregnant now for two reasons she is scares it will get passed on to our child and because how enraged I get. In reality a lot of people have Bipolar, I take medication everyday to level my moods. My girlfriend stuck with me through the lowest points in my life, that helps a lot. So what I am saying is if you love him stay by his side and show him you love him because that is the best meds, love. Support him, help him through everything and try to get him to go and get professional help. From experience having someone that loves you and cares about you around helps so much more.
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replied August 5th, 2009
Supporter
I think it would be a good idea for you to learn more about the illness he is suffering from. It will help your relationship when you understand why he may act a certain way. My advice would be to google information on Biplor Disorder and Schizophrenia...read some books...go with him for therapy...The more you know, the easier it will be for both of you. Good-luck to you both.
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replied August 6th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
I agree you can't reasonably expect to make a descision about how to move forward until you know what you're dealing with. He was taking medication for Bipolar/ Schizophrenia and it obviously wasn't the medicaiton that he needed. There's any number of disorders that could account for his behavior but none of them are predictable or easy to control. You have a right to know what you're signing up for before you decide to stay in this relationship.

Also not to throw fuel on your fire but you should also find out if the disorder(s) your boyfriend has are considderred to be congenital before you decide if you'll keep this baby. No matter how committed you are to be a mother to your unborn child you have a right to know what the next 18 years of your life will hold for you and your family.
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replied August 6th, 2009
its so good to hear from you all. i really do appreciate the replys. its so nice to be able to be supported, even if it is just having people to talk to this about. i will reply with better input later on, my baby is playing up lol xx
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replied September 22nd, 2009
I am just soo happy that I have found these postings as I am dealing with a situation that both scares me but doens't at the same time. Fromt he very beginning my boyfriend and I have been brutally honest with each other bout our lives , ou past ect .he told me right off the bat that he was bi-polar and on meds for it like 3 meds and he had had a few trips to the hospital and had lost everything at one point after a horrible divorce which triggered it all. anyhow he is an amazing guy, loving ,caring funny and he is soo keen on taking his meds and speaking with his doc ect and also he has other health issues like bad stomack ulcers I mean horrible soo I am 38yrs old and he is 33yrs old I am well we are debating if we should have a baby or have a lovely life filled with other joys but not of a baby simply because my boyfriend is scared that he will pass his mental illness to our possible baby which is likely considering his uncle had mental illness as he found out sooo lately since it's been a virtually new relationship ,I have been doing research and looking into his meds in more details , eductaing myself if you will and my boyfriend is soo good he answers my questions and adresses my concerns ect ..no episodes have happenned yet but I do feel a wee bit anxious about when and how if ever that were to happen and also he does sleepwalk he told me and I have not witness any of that either sooo I don't know what to offer you for advice Hazel89 but all I know I have committed myself to my boyfriend because even in all his imperfections I love him and him me .I was also thinking that this is just like considering being with anyone who has any terminally diseasse it is a commitment which carries sacrifices and dedication but how much do you love this person not when he is not sick but whne he is himself? that is the real him and that is the man I love and trust and want to be with sooo
I will do as much research possible , I will seek a lot of advices and input and I will if were to decide to have a child or even when we get married if I want this life and from there there is no turning back because in the end there is no garuantee in any relationship "normal" or not sooo
I wish you all the best in the world and please seek help for yourself and don't feel guilty if that is too much for you ok and take care
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replied September 30th, 2009
Experienced User
my boyfriend is a schizo and well i am to, but we know how to control it, somtimes we get wrapped up in our own world and dont see reality and hes freaking smart and so am i we just see what others dont and i have problems and so do we but im having a baby, i get paranoid a lot that im theres an alien growing in my tummy but when u have that baby dont make the chld think being schizo is wrong its just a stupid brain disease, my doctor says well getting a lot of help and books for him might help i know i know nothing bout babies thats why im living with someone who going to help me out cause im scare i might kill it or something
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replied December 30th, 2009
i am bipolar,have been pregnant,am possibly pregnant again,my bf is bipolar/schizo.so i get u.it is scary when they have their episodes.just make sure he stays on his medicine...take care of urself n the baby.

i wish u the best
TeenageBirthmother
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replied August 2nd, 2013
I have bipolar and my gf is pregnant.
I have bipolar, and the only advice I have is that it's super duper hard. Remember the mood swings during 1st trimester. Well, that is a light version of having bipolar. It is so hard because a lot of the uncontrollable mood swings that my soon to be fiancee has happen to be my triggers. I know about my illness through NAMI. National Alliance for Mental Illness. They have a program called family 2 family , which is a free course for people who have loved ones with mental illness. It teaches how to understand the illness and help us get through it. Episodes for me happen everything I have new intense stress in my life. The financial responsibility with her not working has made me iarrate and a complete mess. Sad thing is, I know it's bad for the baby. Now, all I do when she gets mad or furustrates me, that to be on the safe side I just pray and stay quiet. I then try to leave or do some exercise /yoga /anything that I can grab onto as a lifesaver to save me from flying off the handle. It suck because It leaves me physically drained, to the point to where my body starts looking depressed. She knows about my illness and thanks to God, I've found someone who goes to NAMI with me and learns about this illness with me. I don't like having it anymore than she does. And, I accept that I have something out of my control must like she has accepted me. But not trying to defend your bf, but all I can say is that it is extremly hard to keep your cool over something that takes over your mind like addiction does the brain. These are the main times where I have a hard time keeping my esteem up becaue I feel like I;m hurting the ones I love and I have no breaks ,untill its's too late. It makes me feel like a complete damned useless burden at times. But, I know it's my disease and that it's my choice everyday to choose to foucs on my recovery. I STRONGLY SUGGEST A LOOK INTO THE NON PROFIT THAT SAVED MY LIFE . NAMI
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