Over the past several months, I've been experiencing worsening emotional/mood issues... Some of them have been so bad that I haven't been able to recognize them myself, they have been pointed out to me multiple times by my husband. I have a family history of bipolar disorder, I am wondering if this could be the cause? Or if it could be something else entirely...? Here are the general issues that I can think of off the top of my head:
-Severe Mood Swings (instantly from happy to crying so hard I almost make myself physically ill).
-Severe irritability (tiny things will make my skin crawl to the point that I nearly snap).
-Unable to take interest in anything.
-Severe Fatigue
-Lack of Motivation (motivation to simply get up and take a shower seems insurmountable)
-Paranoia (IE: Missed an outing with friends, now I honestly think they all sit and laugh at me and talk about me/the crazy one.)
-Sudden Detachment (I end up starting fights over something fairly inconsequential, but get upset to the point of crying/screaming - then suddenly one of two things will happen - a) I snap to completely calm, with no explanation/ b) I realize I don't know why I'm arguing - almost like I'm watching someone else talking).
-Self-Injury (Usually cutting... not often, but at times when something just completely horribly overwhelming happens, I can't help it. It ends up being a crutch for something to focus on, so I don't get so much overwhelmed in whatever the crisis is, and also sometimes ends up being a payback of sorts, for someone if someone did something that made things so bad... though I never could/would actually intentionally let that person know it happened.)
-Unable to vocalize emotions (I can't talk to anyone about problems. When I try, it's like my mouth goes on autopilot, saying something other than what I want to say, like I can't control it).
-Agonize over past mistakes/regrets (Sometimes I get caught up in a mental loop thinking about something bad or embarrassing that happened anytime from the recent past to more than a decade ago, sometimes even going so far as talking out loud about what I should have said/done differently).
-Memory Problems (Forgetting things much more frequently than in the past, having to be reminded often about appointments or something needing to be done).
-Thinking Clearly Problems (I, or someone else, find myself completely dazed out, not sure how long I've been staring into space and running on auto pilot... Later I find things that should go in the fridge, in the cabinets, etc).
