ms confusious - am I skitsofrenic?

Why am i so confused as to who I am. I find it very difficult to trust ppl and im always in worst case senario. I am currently in a relationship but suffer from huge anxiety over the relationship. I find it hard to believe that somebody can really love me as I come from a very troubled childhood with not much affection and love. i'm constantly cross questioning and over analizing the relationship trying to justify my fears. I find myself going back and forth and feeling drained and tired. I'm very sensitive to words and would read almost anything negetative in a perfeclty innocent letter and always on the defence and in worst case senario which offcourse doesnt help my relationship much. I try to hide my fears but my boyfriend is aware of my uncertanties and luckly we dont see each other to much so I can hide it with analizing my words to him in mail so that it wouldnt surface that much. My husband suffers from skitsofrenia and is on medication and i always dread that being exposed to his abnormal behaviour has somewhat rubbed off on me and that i now to suffer from this condition. How do i learn to deal with me anxieties and learn to trust ppl. Anybody pls help miss confusious