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Mother passed way 2 days ago... What to do?

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Mother died 1 week ago
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My mother died July 3, 2011 of MS
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February 12th, 2012
My mother passed away two days ago. She has battled with severe depression that turned manic at times, as well as severe anxiety. She had an episode in July 2010 where she spent over a month in the hospital and the only way they were able to get her well enough to be discharged was to do electric shock therapy. Since that time it has been an up and down battle. She would take her medication and then she would stop, and then she would start again. I truly believe she found a place in her mind that was a happy place for her and she did not want to come back out and face the rest of the world.

She suffered tremendously! She was not herself for the last year and a half. She was normally a happy, outgoing, social person. However, for the last year and a half all she did was sit in the house and play on the computer. She didn't have the desire to ever leave the house and then if she did the anxiety of being out took over and she had to immediately return home.

I wish there was more I could have done for her. She didn't want to die, depression took her life and I just wish I could bring her back. I am usually very stong, but I have completely lost all of my strength to function or move forward. I feel lost. I feel badly for breaking down in front of my children. I just want the hurt and pain to go away, and I know it never ever will. It's just too much to handle! Any advice on how to try to deal with this a little better?
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First Helper laram
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bernie12
replied February 14th, 2012
i whish there was an easier way to handle grief .theres no shortcuts,we just have to go through it,just take one day as a time.dont feel bad for breaking down in front of your kids ,your a daughter who loved her mum and is griefing ,theres no shame. my mum diead 5 weeks ago and i feel like im going mad .i know what your going through and its the worst feeling ever .we will never get over looseing our mums but with time we will learn to life with it just keep hanging in there hun
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Sheen602
replied February 20th, 2012
Help!!!
I having a hard time dealing with the passing of my mother, she died on 02/16/2012 I'm only 27 and I just feel like I could have done more to find out what was really wrong with her. I just feel as if I'm in a dream at times and just break down. I just want my mom back!! Please I need some help dealing.
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laram
replied February 23rd, 2012
Hi my mom passed away on the 13th of this month (2/13/2012) after only 6 weeks of being diagnosed with cancer. I'm so sorry you lost you mom. Doesn't it feel like someone ripped your heart out? I feel like I'm all alone in the world (and I'm lucky with a great husband and two kids!!!) I still feel so alone. I have found a little comfort on talking to her out loud. I have a picture of her in my living room and have an on going candle I light every day. I have also started running and swimming again and focus on hard movements and pretend she has passed her strength onto me. I keep halucinating though and I keep seeing her walking around. I hope you find your strength. I guess I just want to tell you that you are not alone in your feelings.
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alicat77
replied February 27th, 2012
Hi,

I lost my mum on the 1/02/12 after 8 weeks, brain cancer. Since then there has been the worst and bitter family breakdown my brother who I was closest too, now is a an awful person. I was looking to online to see if I could legally divorce my siblings I want such a fresh start. I have a great partner too but I still feel alone. I have lost both my parents and a brother and I don't think I will feel better until I have my own children. Like you Iaram I had my first 'haluciantion' that I saw her last night. I was very close to her and called her sometimes twice a day and spent all of my holidays with her..Somedays I just feel constant nausea, I got some valium from my doctor but don't take it often as my partner as not too happy about me taking it, as his mother took the drug. It is a hard road but none of us can escape it.....
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bernie12
replied February 28th, 2012
im sure you done your best to find out what was wrong with your mum.but no matter what you done ,sadly it wouid nt change the outcome.my mum diead 7 weeks ago i know what your going through,it s awfull. the thought of never seeing her again is to much to bear.your mum will always be a part of you she made you what you are.i whish i couid give you words of comfort , but at the moment nothing will come close to comfort.if you ever want to talk just inbox me.you will never get over loseing your mum but hopefully with time you will come to except she pased and learn to life with it tina
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karendash
replied February 24th, 2012
My mother passed away February 4, 2012. I can't seem to handle my emotions. She passed after a lengthy battle of illnesses including dementia. My family was critical with offering little to no support, I brought her into my home until her last days and struggled with 18 hours a day tending to her needs. At her memorial service my daughter and I were assaulted by hateful family. I'm in charge of the estate, I'm battling with my abusive ex husband as he continues to take me to court to punish me for not taking him back, I'm trying to figure out how to handle cleaning out her home that she lived in for 30 years, my child has revealed a significant, potentially life-changing action, and I am having panic attacks, I can't sleep, I can explode into tears or just sit numb with my heart about to break out of my chest. I can't take it and I feel so alone.
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alicat77
replied February 28th, 2012
Hi Karendash,

That is so much pressure for one person to take especially when they are caring for their child on top.Families, I have noticed just look after their own concerns in these cases and you do find yourself out on your own. I am suffering very bad panic attacks at the moment which are also accompanied by a choking sensation and nausea...for this I try to breath,go to yoga but if I am struck in a irregular situation my doctor told me to imagine breathing into a brown paper bag, he also gave me 2mg of valium for those very 'rough' days. Stay strong for yourself and your child and only be around people that care for you and make you feel good. It is very easy to read those people. wishing you wellness, Ali
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