I don't know if I have depression or what,
but everything seems to be going wrong
with me. My problem is: My mother has
relied on all of her family to take her in
and be her driver, landlord, and sole
supporter for the last 10 years since my
stepfather has passed away. I have tried
everything to get her to be more
independent, but I haven't had any luck.
Recently my wife and I drove my mother to
senior living facilities (not the
assisited living kind, but the ones where
the government subsidizes). After seeng
all of them we decided to go get lunch and
fill out the paperwork to apply. While at
the table, she was filling out the
paperwork and started to get upset because
she was depressed about not seeing her
grandchild anymore. I don't know what she
is going through, but I think that she is
becoming too dependent on others to be
there for her. Don't get me wrong, but I
gave up 3 years of my bachelor life to
care for her and be there for her. I have
finally found the woman of my dreams and
thankfully I have been married to her for
the past 6 years, but I feel that having
my mother move in with us would ruin the
beautiful things we have together. Am I
being to hasty to assume that I am a bad
son for not accepting her to live with me
again?
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mominashoe
Supporter
Joined: 04 Dec 2007 Posts: 1842 Location: , KS USA
Thanks: 47
Thanked:35
Posted: 03-09-08 11:04am
Yes it would ruin your life. Don't let
your mother play with your heart strings.
Having her move in with you could (and I
would rather put WILL) ruin your marriage.
All because she is elsewhere doesn't mean
that you can't visit from time to time.
She is an adult, she can handle it.
It's really sweet of you to be so
concerned about your mom, but as long as
she's provided for, she needs to realize
that you have your own life to live....and
so does your wife and any children.
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marvel
Supporter
Joined: 09 Sep 2007 Posts: 1104 Location: Toronto, Ontario (but only a private message away)
Thanks: 50
Thanked:8
Posted: 03-09-08 16:36pm
I agree with mominashoe. There are better
ways to show your mom that you love her
besides letting her move in with you... It
will put a large strain on your family...
something that is pretty hard to bear.
Doing this for her will probably make her
happier in the long run. She'll be around
people just like her... so she'll have
more friends, more activities to partake
in. She'll love it in the long run. It's
scary at first, I can imagine, but she'll
thank you for it down the road (provided
you remain a large part of her life).
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PenguinsRus
Moderator
Joined: 05 Nov 2007 Posts: 1230 Location: New York, NY United States
Thanks: 32
Thanked:8
online
Posted: 03-11-08 14:35pm
I agree as well. I would not let your
mother move in with you. It would just
make things complicated. If she is in
assisted living, you can still send her
pictures and pay her visits so she can see
her grandchildren. She will meet new
people and get back on her feet and will
thank you for it in the long run.
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lonely_guy_20
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Mar 2008 Posts: 3 Location: ,
Posted: 03-14-08 04:42am
i don't my mom just passed away...spend as
much time eith her as possible
