so i had another movie and dinner night with my mom,
and this one did not turn out well AT ALL.
everything seemed to be going fine, we chatted the whole way to the movie theatre and were laughing and what not.
Then after the movies we went to have dinner, and thats when everything went down hill...
We were talking here and there, and i told her about when i heard the baby's heart beat, and when my next appointments were; she's hasn't accepted this pregnancy of mine fully yet, which i understand, but i still like to ahare things ive been going through and visits to my Dr's with her too to keep her updated, and maybe that way she would accept it little by little along the way.
Then, she started a conversation with:
'im having a really hard time with this and finding it really hard to accept this, and i cant seem to shake it'
and i said, i understand, i know you still need time.
then she said 'i guuess what im finding really hard is that i cant do the things i imagined doing with you, like being there when the baby's born, being there at the baptism or shopping with you for the baby...'
and i was like woah..your not gonna be there when my baby-your grandchild is born? and your not going to want to be at the baptism either??
she was like, i dont want to be around George[bf/fiance] and his family.
That's her reason for not wanting to be apart of this.
she also said how i did not even invite her to a DR's appointment, and to be honest, seeing as how she didnt really like my situation on keeping this baby, and how she does not even show an intrest or the slightest bit of concern/intrest when i talk about the baby and appointments, i never thought she would want to come to an appointment.
I was upset and stopped eating, and didnt say much after,
then we got into an argument and we got ready to leave and i called George to pick me up.
And as i left i said since your not wanting to be apart of the birth i wont call when i go into labour... and she was like you think i wanted this? you took this away from me this is your fault!
This isnt my fault, im doing what i feel is right in my heart, she's the one whos stopping herself from doing all these things, im not saying she cant be apart of this...
you kno...i knew she was not going to be pleased when hearing im pregnant, but i never thought she would say she wouldnt be there for the birth or baptism...cuz i want her to be there, but it doesnt matter what i say.
All i know is that this is not my fault for her reason as to why she doesnt want to be apart of this, thats her fault and problem...
all i want to do is just curl up in a ball and cry...