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mixed feelings i guess

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i have always heard a voice one voice who made my life hell
well i recently had a very very bad mental breakdown in which i just i don't know fell apart even more.
now i hear another one a male who i hate more then the first one because he says things that make me vomit like really vomit or just not eat..
and another who just laughs well i have heard them almost non-stop for 5 weeks and well now they are all just kinda gone..
im not complaining i enjoy eating and having some time alone with my Own thoughts but after that long i feel kinda weird not hearing them. not like im empty but something like it i don't want to hear them but i don't know exactly what im feeling i really hate them..
does this make sense? does anyone feel like this?
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First Helper User Profile Christina2011
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replied February 22nd, 2012
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I think I know what you mean. When it happens to me, at that moment, it’s like a part of me is missing. These days, I often forget the voices are there, until I have a moment to myself. I’m like, “What the hell?!! Where did they go??!!”

It really doesn’t take much concentration for me to seek them out. Most of the time, all I have to do is remember they are there. It sort of reminds me of the way I feel when I suddenly remember God is watching over me. I'm like, "Did you *catch* all of that??" Sometimes, though, I do have short periods of dead silence, and I wonder what sort of mischief they are planning for me. I'm still able to seek them out, if I concentrate hard enough.

It’s all one-sided that way, though. I have no trouble finding them again when they disappear on me, but I am unable to send them away when I feel like it.
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Users who thank Christina2011 for this post: diamondsuicide 

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replied February 22nd, 2012
lol yeah they never back off when i want them too
and my thoughts exactly when he comes back is he going to be worse or is she what are they up to do they know what im doing stuff like that just pops in guess i should just try and enjoy the silence eh =D
thank you =)
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replied March 22nd, 2012
I'm curious, if you don't mind my asking, what types of things do the voices tell you? Mine usually try to get me to do things, not always bad things, but in essence they try to control my body in some way by tricking my mind.
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Users who thank fragmo for this post: diamondsuicide 

replied March 23rd, 2012
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Good one fragmo, good post.

Had a dream about you posting this I think. As if it had already happened.

Some of mine, one of mine, or perhaps the same one this whole time has the most enormous sense of humour i've ever seen, and is the funniest thing you'll ever meet, and quite intelligent.

But someone in there is bad, very bad, and I love to fight it, and I will always love fighting it, it's kind've like an egyptian king, thinks that he's the world, and love to be sarcastic to it, treat it like it's nothing. And when Im able I will do it even if it kills me, just because I can, just to piss it off. The joke of a lifetime.

And there is another, a very good one, it's been much help and I love it dearly, humorous and logical and just all about love, and can have a very good time. It's energy is like medicine, actual medicine, makes you feel like you are home, where the heart is I guess.

And Im not kidding, all that it has to do is say something and you feel better instantly, it's calming, like sitting comfortably by a fire and being safe and happy again.

Him and the jokester get along fine, they go well together.

The other though, well, I would like to just take a big dook on his head and laugh at him, take his power from him and perhaps make him follow some rules. That would be intensely satisfying, just make him follow the rules, and if there was no pain he would be nothing, it's all that they've ever had is pain, and one day they will have it no more, one way or the other they will have nothing again, and they deserve it. We'll see how they do with that, it will be quite nice.

Imagine that, no one to hurt and rule over, play tricks on, bad tricks I mean, that's where they will be, and thus will have nothing, I will smile from my grave and rest comfortably again, and possibly just wail in enjoyment watching them writhe in falsely percieved agony, don't worry though, it's not real agony, they've never even understood what that even was.

But if we can, we'll just make them follow the rules, everyone will finally laugh at them, it's their worst nightmare.
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replied March 24th, 2012
The one that makes you feel at home and is all about love sounds just like Jesus. The very bad one sounds like the devil, but I don't know who the other one could be. When they talk to me their words almost always have multiple meanings (some bad, some good) so I don't know which to believe so I generally don't believe any of it. I just listen and analyze what they say and try to edit my own behavior if I feel they were criticizing me and I determine they had a reason to be doing so.
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replied June 20th, 2012
well im gay and some of the things they say are about my girlfriend with guys or something along those lines.
sometimes they talk in great detail sexual things.
i have had a really bad childhood and they bring that up just saying mean disgusting things. that is 2 of them the 3 which is the origanl one she tries to get me to kill myself tries to give me ideas she thinks i should do
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replied June 20th, 2012
beware it sounds nutS! but similar things happens to me as well... these society of psychos are psychics they know everything they tell you or sometimes they show you different things in your mind! they want to control you and play gods? they are quite manipulative and mostly they can control our will against us...
be careful! ... these voices or the puppeteers are recently taking control of my body and they give me electric shocks few times today...
...they love sex ... and we can control these things by using sex against them ... not really!... well they are using sexual information or delusions against us victims... that leads to our self destruction and to theirs and make both of us more corruptible ... on the other side... you don't need to be affected by these idiots... because these psychos are stupid ... and so their offspring maybe if they have one... they are the victims of their own poison... well..
What is crooked cannot be straightened; what is lacking cannot be counted. For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief. ...

they are playing gods right? don't be affected by these psychos unless they are using your community against you! like they did to me ... they did it once before in the ancient times ... these gods are using people like us to cover their insecurities with our humanity... you know what i mean! its nuts!!
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replied June 21st, 2012
@ fragmo

when you change yourself because what they say does it help?
like keeping them from talking smack to you?
because if so i should try it but they hate everything about me my voice the way i talk and walk when i smoke or drink my weight pretty much everything i know i cant change it all but if doing some may get them off my case hey its worth a shot
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