Hi everyone,i was diagnosed a while back,so automatically im taking meds.in the beginning i was very positive about it all,taking my meds everyday and focusing on feeling better...but now my mind and body is exhausted.i dont feel myself,sometimes i miss feeling my "normal"self other days im angry cus of the fact that i am bipolar and that ppl judge us.im sick of having these indecent thoughts yet i revel in them cus they inspire me,so when i take my meds they dissapear and im like a has been artist.i miss a feeling of rushing.i dont know what to do,its like im stuck.i cant run from it and i cant comfort myself in it.what must i do?im not allowed to take drugs,been clean since my diagnoses but i do puff weed sometimes.my soul feels empty with the medication,and without it im psychotic.which is better?how do i balance myself-im clueless