Miscarriage and Stillbirth Forum - Miscarriage at 6 weeks

Pregnancy Forum > Miscarriage and Stillbirth Forum > Miscarriage at 6 weeks

Q: Miscarriage at 6 weeks

asked by: salamander22 on March 27th, 2008

New User

Hi there. I just had a miscarriage of a much-wanted baby. I'm 31, in good health, and everything seemed okay. I started cramping Saturday, then starting bleeding lightly on Easter Sunday. I woke my husband up at 5AM Monday because felt myself start bleeding more heavily along with cramping. I hadn't seen my OB/GYN yet, just my family doctor. In the hospital ER they kept asking me if I was sure I was even pregnant and no matter how many times I told them my doctor had confirmed it and had set it at about 6 weeks, they kept doubting it, then (within hearing of my room and everyone else's, thank you very much) kept saying I was just having a late, bad period. We were out of town so I went to my regular doctor to confirm the miscarriage.
The question I want to ask but haven't is about my past. My husband, whom I adore, was with me this whole time and I didn't have the courage to ask things in front of him when he doesn't know about it. I've had 3 abortions. One was at the age of 22, by aspiration. The other 2 were by the "pill," RU 486, at 27 and 29. None were over 7 weeks. I could go into my reasons but they are too long.
I was raised in a wonderful, loving Christian home and truly don't believe I made the right decisions then. But now I feel like my past is back to haunt me, so to speak. What effect do these past abortions have on my being able to even have a child? The part of me that usually feels the most guilt feels like I deserve this since I had my chance three time already. I've never been so depressed in my life. I don't know how to talk to my husband about this now, how to bring it up with doctors, what to say to the friends I love dearly and want to talk to, I'm just really lost. I want to be able to talk honestly with someone. This is something I have never told anyone and now the weight of my past is smothering me.

Replies(6)

Rosie H

replied on March 27th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

Sorry to hear so much pain in your post. I think the only real way you can overcome this is to talk about it. I dont mean to everyone all at once but maybe start with your doctor and your husband. Those are the most important people through pregnancy. I am sure your husband loves and cherishes you above anything else. He might be surprised and even hurt that you have not told him but he will also be thankful that you are turning to him for help. Your doctor will also be helpful. If either of them are judgemental and mean to you then they do not deserve you. If your doctor says or does anything that you dont like then I would find another doctor. I have had lots of dark secrets and most of them did not go away until a shared them.

I am sorry to say that I have no idea how the previous abortions can affect you now. Maybe someone else might know. Please keep posting and reaching out to us online. Its a start to overcoming your fear. You will see that there are a lot of people that support you and that do not look down on you. Best wishes

Zanny

replied on March 27th, 2008

Supporter

I'm so sorry.

Surgical abortions slightly increase your chance of miscarrying, but I don't think non-surgical ones do. The risk isn't increased by a lot though.. you should still be able to have children. You should talk to your doctor.. they'll be able to tell you more.

Miscarriages are nature's way of making sure that when you do have a baby, it has the best possible chance in life. Please don't blame yourself for what happened. Like Rosie H said, you should talk to your husband about all this.. it's always better to share things.

Mabel

replied on March 27th, 2008

Moderator

Quote:

Abortions performed in the first trimester pose virtually no long-term risk of such problems as infertility, ectopic pregnancy, spontaneous abortion (miscarriage) or birth defect, and little or no risk of preterm or low-birth-weight deliveries.

Abortions do not increase the risk of miscarriage. Early miscarriages are mostly (70% of them) due to chromosomal abnormalities.

If a person's cervix were weakened or scarred by infection (post abortion), that may affect her ability to carry a baby later in the pregnancy. But a 6 week miscarriage is doubfully the result of any prior abortion.

Jules

replied on March 28th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

Hello! I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through such a tough time. It's natural to blame yourself when you miscarry, you can't help but wonder if it's something you did wrong. I suppose because there seems to be no reason for it, we look for the answers by blaming ourselves.

Something in your post struck a chord with me. I am currently miscarrying at only 4 weeks 1 day, so I was very early indeed. However, I know I was pregnant because of all my symptoms and the fact I had 2 positive tests. However, when I saw my doctor he seemed not to believe I was pregnant at all and just said to treat it as a late period. I'm well aware that at 4 weeks the 'baby' is just cells but when it is a much wanted baby, it is insensitive to simply call the loss 'a period'.

Anyway, I know I've waffled but I just wanted to say you have my sympathy and please don't beat yourself up about your past. You are not being punished and unless you had bad problems following an abortion then I would say there is no reason you can't have a healthy pregnancy.

Good luck!

peligrosa

replied on April 1st, 2008

New User

I am sorry to hear about your emotional struggle. I dont want you to be so hard on yourself. One thing that you did not mention was if you had other children (I am going to assume by the post you dont). I dont want to say that you will not have children however; since the earlier pregnancies were terminated you do not know if you were at risk to experience one in the earlier pregancies therefor, please do not be hard on yourself. I experiences two miscarrages and I can understand what you are feeling please dont give up hope. Good Luck.

Desique

replied on February 8th, 2009

New User

I know exactly what you are experiencing. I too have had abortions in the past and have miscarried at 7 weeks last September. I am 7 weeks pregnant again and have started experiencing spotting again. This is very scary for me and I do wonder if my past is responsible for what is happening now. The suggestion by the other contributors to talk about it is a good one. Don't beat yourself up too much. You said that you are from a Christian background and therefore, should not forget that our God is a forgiving God and that our lives are planned out even before we are born. My prayers are with you for the strength you need to handle whatever situation comes your way.

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