Medical Questions > Pregnancy Forum > Miscarriage and Stillbirth Forum

Miscarriage at 23 weeks and 3 days (Page 1)

I feel awful.
He wasn't planned but I had grown to love him.
I don't know what to do with myself.
He doesn't even count as a child because he was under 24 week, and that hurts more than anything.
God I feel so messed up.
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replied November 12th, 2008
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Hi Sweetie! Me Fairy*Godmother
I am so very sorry you are feeling so hurt. I wish I could be there to comfort you and tell you things will get better. Look at this from a more positive outlook, maybe it will help you to know God needs babies too. Yes, he counts as a child, your son....let no one tell you otherwise. Just came across your post and felt lead to answer. You are not messed up....you are just feeling a loss. PLese feel free to PM if youd like............Heres a HUG for you! FGM
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replied November 12th, 2008
Thank you.
I do just feel so lost and angry.
I just want to screm at the nurse and doctors because I am not allowed to have buried or register his birth.
I have asked God to let him go to heaven.

I hate my body it disgusts me, I make milk but have no child to give it to.

Ok, I think I need to sleep.
Everything is a confusing.
But I'll be back, I usually bottle things and I need this place to let it out.

Thank you FGM.
Your really kind.
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replied November 12th, 2008
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Hi
You vent anytime your little heart desires. This is going to take time. Its not something that can jsut be swetp under hte rug. It not only hurts your physically and emotionally but mentally as well. You know in oyur heart you would have had a son. God has this little boy now. Please don't hate your body. A lot of times, when something is very wrong with a baby, the body aborts it. You can't blame yourself for this. Please don't beat yourself up. There are lots of us here who would love to be your friend and help get your through this............Always here or close by. Get some rest and know you are never alone...........not when you can come here. Wink
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replied April 20th, 2009
Have just had a miscarriage at 23 weeks too and feel so empty. I can't help wondering if there was anything I could have done to prevent this especially after having to go through labour which I cried all the way through. I feel angry but am not sure who at!
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replied April 29th, 2009
support
i have just loss a son at 22+5 and really am in need of support and answers, i'm 30 a nurse with 2 great children 10 and 12, i'm very ange=ry as its only been 2 weeks since my angel was taken and i've just found out all this could have been prevented, i had surgery on my cervix and have been diagnosed as have a incompetent one, resulting in premature labour, i had a emergency sticth in place yet despite this i became infected and nearly died so my son had to born in order for me live?? i would like to know whether anyone has had successful clerage and general support as this was not my fualt and someone is to blame and i know i need to pass through this anger and mourn.

Love to you all and our angels xxxxxxxxxxxxx
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replied May 4th, 2009
Experienced User
Re: support
cooksangels wrote:
i have just loss a son at 22+5 and really am in need of support and answers, i'm 30 a nurse with 2 great children 10 and 12, i'm very ange=ry as its only been 2 weeks since my angel was taken and i've just found out all this could have been prevented, i had surgery on my cervix and have been diagnosed as have a incompetent one, resulting in premature labour, i had a emergency sticth in place yet despite this i became infected and nearly died so my son had to born in order for me live?? i would like to know whether anyone has had successful clerage and general support as this was not my fualt and someone is to blame and i know i need to pass through this anger and mourn.

Love to you all and our angels xxxxxxxxxxxxx


sorry for your loss. I too have elost children. My first waas 4 months old and passed from a heaart defect and my 2nd was a stillborn at 32 weeks.

To anwer you question, I have never had a clerage, BUT I have a friend who was pregnant with twins who had one early on and carried her babies till 27 weeks. they both surived. Good luck to you in the future.
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replied November 11th, 2009
i lost a child at 23 weeks and 3 days, i feel like id made the wrong decision on letting him go,there were also neglects toward my delivery time. i shouldn't never had listened to the neurologist and should had listened to my ins tings (a mothers ins stings)but mine. now i blame my self not not being strong.
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replied February 1st, 2010
i recently lost my baby it woz a baby boy i woz 23 weeks and 3 days my baby died inside me and i couldent do any thing i miss him so much the way i feel is so hard to explain but it hurts so much to know that i will neva see him again i wont here him say mum and my other childern wont never get to play with him i dont understand what to do now
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replied February 1st, 2010
Hi rosie I feel so bad for you. I had a still born baby girl Ava on Jan 14th. Do you know what happened to him?
I am still looking for answers. I am her to help you. Please write back soon. Maybe we can help each other with this grief. My baby was unexpected to but I love her so much and miss her.
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replied February 2nd, 2010
thank you 4 replying i realy sorry to hear about u to i alredy have 4 children i dident what eney more i went to the doc to get steralized i also told him that i cum on my piriods every two weeks but i be realy bad he checket me and he say that i am having a misscarage so he sent me for a scan to see if everything had cum out but when i had the scan she told me that i woz 11 week pregnat and that there is a haret beat me woz in shock 4 about a week i woz still bleeding the doc say that it is a thretend misscarrage it might it might not 50 50 thay say weeks went by i woz 22 weeks and i started clotting realy bad went to hospital and woz kept in haret beat woz fine in the day on the 29 of december at nine the midwife cum to check haret beat she cud not find one i woz hopeing the baby woz hiding thay took me for a scan the next day and told me that there woz no haret beat on that day i gave bith to my baby has much as i dident what another baby i do now i now it wont replace my other one but i what to replace the emty ness i love the baby has much as my other kids i will neva now y it happen do u what another baby how dose your partner feel my partner dose not what anymore but i do it might seem crazy and mad but more then ever i what a baby
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replied February 2nd, 2010
After your loss
rosie777, It is very normal to feel the way you feel. This happens all the time. After you have lost a baby it is normal to want another one. Just be aware that after you have the new baby you will be sad again and realize the new baby can't replace the lost baby. Allow yourself to feel this loss and grieve the way you need to. I am a crazy person. I am so sad one minute and angry the next there is no right or wrong. I know it will take a lot of time to heel. Just be patient. You will feel better eventually but you will never forget your baby. God bless our little angles.
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Users who thank jbv123 for this post: rosie777 

replied February 10th, 2010
Hi Rosie and JBV123
I to lost my beautiful baby girl on the 14 October 09 she was 23 weeks and 2 days old, i feel empty and so lonely it was her due date on the 8th Feb and i miss her so much, she was perfect in every way. If you wanna talk please email back.

God bless our baby angels. xx
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replied February 10th, 2010
Sorry for your loss:(
Hi jk123, I am so sorry about your baby girl. What was her name? I am still so sad on valentines day it will be a month since I a had her. I can't believe she is gone. I wish I knew what happened to her . I had myself checked and I am okay it had nothing to do with me. She was doing fine too. I am blaming the h1n1 vaccine but I don't know. I wish I had asnswers. I know how sad you are and I am willing to talk anytime. Was this your first baby? I will talk to you soon.
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replied February 10th, 2010
Hi jbv123

On Valetines day it will be 4 months since i lost my angel Grace, she is the most beautiful baby girl i have ever seen it was instant love the first time i saw her, yeah she was my first baby, everything was going great she was much wanted i even started taking floic acid 12 weeks before we concieved Grace, then it all went wrong my waters broke at 20 weeks 5 days but my baby managed to hold on for 19 days but she got a really bad infection and the hosiptal had to delivery my baby, she was still alive but because the infecton was so bad and she was so small she couldn't handle the birth and my grace was stillborn, its like leaving a nightmare and i can't wake up, i have good days but i have really really bad days i just can't believe god had taken my baby away from me.

My consultant diagnosed me with incompent cervix because i had treatment on precancerous cells cin 3 when i was 22 over 3 years ago so they said on my next pregnancy i will have a stitch (like that makes any difference now ive lost Grace) and scanned every 2 weeks to check my cervix length etc

What's your babies name? have you had the funeral yet? please tell me what happened to your baby girl. have you been offered any counciling yet? xx
xxx
please emal back
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replied February 10th, 2010
hi gk123
gk 123 ,Oh how sad. I went for my 20 wk check up and the doctor could not find the heart beat. He got the ultrasound machine and when we looked there was no heart beat. She died inside me and they don't know why. I had to be induced and delivered her on january 14th. She was stillborn and she was only measuring 18 wks so they think she was dead a couple week. I had no idea I was waiting for little kicks and all I felt were solid movements. I thought she was okay because I felt movement but it was just her little dead body moving. I was a mess it was so awful. I have three other children all girls. She would have been my fourth girl.. Her name is Ava Mae (mae because her due date was in the month of may). I am at such a loss and even though I have the other girls no one can replace her. We had the funeral already and I see a counsler once every two weeks and that helps. I was angry with God too but he would never give you a baby and take it back.. Your baby has a higher purpose you can't see that right now but she does. Pray to her and you will see. I pray to my baby when I get sad. Even though she is not here your baby is still your baby. You are her mommmy forever.. You have a baby in heaven. Even when you have more children you will miss her. I am getting a tatoo of Ava's little foot on top of my foot so I can keep her with me all the time. I want people to look at it and ask me because I never ever want her to feel I have forgotten her. I know Grace wanted you to write to me because you are hurting.. Don't worry now your daughter is happy. I know Ava and Grace are friends in heaven. I have good days and bad and I feel I will be grieving a long time. God bless our babies.
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replied February 10th, 2010
Hi jbv123

Oh how sad I'm really sorry to hear about Ava Mae, the name you have chosen for her is lovely, i was thinking about getting a tattoo but instead my partner bought me a heart shape locket keyring with her picture inside and its also engraved with a little message on the back its beautiful, I've only just got the strenght to write on these forums and i'm busy trying to set myself up on the SANDS website, I'm seeing a councilor for the first time on Tuesday so i'm hoping thats gonna make me feel abit better. If you ever need to chat i'm here.

Thanks for listening it helps emailing someone who's going through a similar experience to me. xx
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replied February 11th, 2010
hi gj123 i am realy sorry to here the way u lost your baby i think that its so sweet that your parner bought you a locket that realy nice
i still wake up at night and put mu hand on my tummy my due date woz the 24 april the time cuming near and its getting harder sum days r gud sum day realy realy bad i blame myself for all this cuz i whated a girl realy bad but it woz a boy it al my fault
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replied February 11th, 2010
Hi Rosie

Thanks for your email, Whats your babies name?
I know how you feel i too dream that i'm still pregnant and wake up holding my tummy hoping its all a bad dream, i think thats only natural you were pregnant for 20 weeks and planning your new life together and it was taken away from you but please don't blame yourself i know you love your baby no matter the sex and would give anything to have him back.
I blamed myself for months then i blamed the doctors for not giving me a stitch originally and playing god with my baby then i blamed the drugs they gave me during the birth but in the end you will realise that its nobodies fault it just wasn't time for our babies.

Have you had any counciling yet hun? ive got my first session on Tuesday and i'm hoping it will help. xx
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replied February 25th, 2010
i feel so sorry for anyone that lost their little i lost mine at 22 weeks a little boy darragh i thought i was doing ok it has been 2 weeks untill today i feel so empty and lost and i would love to be pregnant again i feel i cant wait but i know this is the emotional effect on me and can anyone tell me this will get any easier.
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