Minorly Abusive & Control Finatic Parents Driving Me Insane

1. I'm turning 17 in a few months. I want to move out, but I cannot financially support myself. I've looked online at government sites and such, but have found nothing.

2. Is there any help I can get? Like I've heard of subsidy and OSAP and welfare, but I don't know the specifics/ details. I would like to know more.

3. My father becomes very abusive when he drinks. He has a "mean streak" and tempermental issues.

4. I want help. I don't feel good enough for my parents because I'm lazy and I'm creative, and I'm not academically strong either. My parents are good people, don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to make them look bad or anything, I just want to be happy. But living with my parents is hard enough.

5. Plese help or give me suggestions or something. I am too scared to talk about this with my parents, at least by myself. My mom knows about me wanting to move out, but she says it like it's bizare. But I don't think my parents realized how much torment and pressure they have put on me already in my lifetime, and a young person should not be under pressure...

6. I have thought about filing for insanity or something as well... I often have mental breakdowns and such and I just can't take it anymore. I have come to the point where I almost don't want anything to do with my parents, but leaving them would hurt them so much I don't want to hurt them, but I also want to be happy, I just don't feel that I can have both at the same time.

Please help! Thank you so much, I tried shortening this up as much as possible.