I posted a similar message a couple of days ago - so far without response - but I wondered if someone can please tell me if women always contract their vaginal muscles during sex? I know it's usually an involuntary response when they do, but do all healthy women automatically react in this way during intercourse?
My girlfriend is unfortunately quite numb around her vagina and cannot even feel me inside her. As a result, she's not being stimulated and so doesn't squeeze me at all, with the usual result being that without this extra help, I take a very long time to trigger before climax (usually having to briefly masturbate to increase my arousal, before quickly re-inserting into her to finish). It's all very unsatisfactory.
We're trying to work through this but I can't find a specific answer to my question anywhere. I wonder if any Delayed Ejaculation sufferers have experienced this with their partners?
Her pelvic floor muscles will contract during orgasm. You might feel it, or it may be too weak. Just like kegel exercises are good for you, it is even better for women to exercise those muscles.
In general, a woman's vagina is pretty numb. Her sex organ is her clitoris, not her vagina. Just like your sex organ is your penis, not your scrotum for example.
Her vagina serves as a birth canal, and outlet for menstrual flow and mucus discharge and as a safe place for you to deposit your semen to get her pregnant. It is largely devoid of nerve endings to protect her from trauma during child birth or due to infections.
You can try two things. Try doggy position and reach around and rub her clitoris until she orgasms while you are inside her. If you do not know how, ask her to show you, or do it herself.
Try normal missionary position, but ask her to close her legs so that yours are outside hers. You will find it much more tighter.
Thank you for your response. I knew most of this but will try the position variations you recommend.
I'm still in the dsrk though about her contractions during sex but BEFORE orgasm.
From what you say then, I am assuming now that all women do not automatically contract their muscles around the penis during intercourse, and that unless their clitoris is being stimulated, it is perfectly normal for their vaginal muscles to do nothing. Therefore, there should be enough feeling inside already for the man to be able to reach climax, without this extra help?
Yes, that is correct. She can contract her muscles herself (same action as kegels) and you will likely feel it, but a woman's vagina does not just contract for no reason. Either she does it on purpose, or during orgasm. It is clear from what you describe that she orgasms from clitoral stimulation, not vaginal stimulation. So doggy while you stimulate her clitoris should make her orgasm. Sex with her legs closed will make it much tighter for you.
Kristi, I am grateful again for your response but my question doesn't really concern my girlfriend's orgasms, which is the only time when I do feel her squeezing me, btw.
It may sound selfish, but for now, I'm more interested in why her relaxed, uncontracting vagina is not enough for me to achieve climax. I can go for 45 minutes and despite the feeling being very pleasant, I can usually make no further progress unless I withdraw and start masturbating. Almost immediately my arousal goes through the roof and it is then easy to re-enter her and finish within seconds.
During intercourse, there's just not enough friction. I feel like I am literally going through the motions.
I have been concerned that I might have developed a Delayed Ejaculation problem, but I don't seem to fit the typical profile of a sufferer, and know that with just a little internal help from my g/f everything would be fine (for me at least).
I've been hoping that my thrusting would be helping her to squeeze me a bit, but you are saying she can only contract during orgasm or on purpose, so are involuntary contractions only ever present during clitoral stimulation?
I hate to sound a bore but am anxious to get these facts straight in my head!