Hi for the last couple of years i've been finding myself regularly forgetting things in several different ways.

Sometimes I intend or am asked to do something and it just slips my mind completely I would not think much of this but it seems to happen frequently.Other times i can look at the time then within minutes completely forget it. What scares me the most is that on ocassions for example going out somewhere with some friends I find i get a sensation of drifting through the time and a sense of almost watching myself and being aware of my actions whilst having no control over them as if something has already been decided and im just acting it out. I also get things that have happened muddled up like getting the days they happened or the people i was with wrong and often a fuzziness that i know generally what has happened with blanks in it.

This saturday night at a party a guy i know who i believe to have stolen my playstation 3 in the past arrived and i could feel myself getting more and more and more angry i tried to suppress it and calm down then i just completely blanked out for 10-15seconds i can remember very little i started to hit him then grabbed my coat and left I am also told that i kicked a good friend of mine(female) during this time and have no recolation of this whatsoever.

Im not usually a violent person and have not been in a fight since i was around 11 however i often get very angry about things big and small. I find myself being unable to enjoy going out of the house if someone i dislike is there and at times would say that id wish pain to happen to these people but have never really acted upon it. I get particulaly angry when i feel females are being treated wrongly by males or when i hear lads boasting about girls in a way that puts them down.

Ive looked around on the net and found that stress and depression can be causes of memory loss which would make sense as its fair to say ive had a pretty crazy last few years but Im unsure. Everyone has their problems right and I find it more unusual for somebody not to be depressed these days as it makes sense theres plenty to be depressed about.Im also only 19 so i doubt any of this is age related.

Right now i just feel ashamed about the whole thing mostly from kicking my friend to be perfectly honest its probably less than the lad deserved despite this I probably shouldent of done this and am feeling pretty scared about loosing control and having a complete blank patch in my memory.

cheers,
mike