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Meeting someone with schizophrenia

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September 16th, 2008
I recently completed an in patient detox program for alcohol. I am still fairly young.......25, and just graduated college with a psychology degree. Even though it was an unfortunate time, I was able to see a lot of mental illnesses first hand while dealing with my addiction. The first person that befriended me in the hospital was a man close to my age that I quickly learned had schizophrenia. We got along good and I felt like I was able to help in some ways. He helped me also, when I could get him away from talking about "saving people, freeing people, or just being Jesus." He will be leaving for a state facitily this week. We still keep in conact. Our conversation are strictly about how we are doing that day as far as his illness and my addiction. My question to anyone out there is, is this healthy for him during his recovery or not? Is a female freind okay for him? He is very ealry in his illness....so early he has yet to admit he has schizophrenia and not much has been able to control it. To me, talking on the phone to a friendly voice makes me feel good, but I don't know if that is the right thing for everyone. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.
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rooted
replied September 17th, 2008
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In my early recovery, I also made a male friend (I'm a heterosexual female). My sponsor at the time simply said that having a male friend would distract me from working from the steps and she discouraged that I pursue any friendship with him. IT confuses things, she told me, and she was right. I ended the friendship. He moved to another state. It was a week of a little pain, but it helped me stay focused.

I think that it's wise for you to let this friendship and others like it go --- stay out of friendships with males for a year --- and focus on what YOU need to do, which is recover.
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Users who thank rooted for this post: cramcj01 
cramcj01
replied September 17th, 2008
Thank you. I kind of figured that but wasn't sure. He had made a couple comments like "I'm going to act right so I can get home and hang out with you." Plus, I do need to help myself before anyone else right now. Anyway, thanks, I just needed another's opinion!
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rooted
replied September 17th, 2008
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Totally. It was really tempting to get involved in a relationship that appeared to be "Harmless" and "friendly". But then, he started buying me presents (a little Grateful Dead teddy bear)...and the lines got a little blurry. Are you planning to go to meetings? They really helped me.
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Mandn
replied December 2nd, 2009
Please help
I had another question to add to this post and I'm hoping someone here would read this and be able to help. I've been dating a girl for going on one year and she was just recently diagnosed with schitzophrenia. Would you sugest that we stop talking while she's in treatment?
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rooted
replied December 6th, 2009
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Has she also been diagnosed as an addict?
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W0LF
replied December 6th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
From my understanding of treatment he is much more of a threat to your recovery than you are to his treatment. Having stable people around you that will point out inconsistencies in your logic or experiences is very grounding for schizophrenics and helps them retain balance when they are tipping over the edge of a delusion.

I think it's a good idea to keep people with schizophrenia invested in others. It is important that you don't let your love for them feed into their delusions or endorse their illness over their treatment. Be a sobering influence and a source of stability for them.
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MelodyNC
replied December 17th, 2009
Experienced User
i think that people should be natural and that inhibitions are strange. but maybe it is just the rules of this site that make me more liberal because really in a more focused place that i am more able to enjoy myself at i would be more focused. but really what i like to say is that people have lives and lol, all are different. i'm glad we don't burn people anymore.
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W0LF
replied December 17th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
Schizophrenis isn't an issue of nature or inhibition. It is a disorder.
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jagrant
replied October 5th, 2010
schizophrenia is not a reason to unfriend someone!
I have schizophrenia. I have had it since my 20's and now I am 53. I think we are all a little different, so whether you want a schizophrenic friend is like asking if you want a diabetic friend or a friend with any other disease. Some of us have our diseases under control, some do not. I have taken meds very successfully to control my symptoms, and I have worked and had friends all my life. I have had successful relationships too. We don't want to stigmatize this group any more.
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