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Q: Meeting someone with schizophrenia
asked by: cramcj01 on September 16th, 2008
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I recently completed an in patient detox program for alcohol. I am still fairly young.......25, and just graduated college with a psychology degree. Even though it was an unfortunate time, I was able to see a lot of mental illnesses first hand while dealing with my addiction. The first person that befriended me in the hospital was a man close to my age that I quickly learned had schizophrenia. We got along good and I felt like I was able to help in some ways. He helped me also, when I could get him away from talking about "saving people, freeing people, or just being Jesus." He will be leaving for a state facitily this week. We still keep in conact. Our conversation are strictly about how we are doing that day as far as his illness and my addiction. My question to anyone out there is, is this healthy for him during his recovery or not? Is a female freind okay for him? He is very ealry in his illness....so early he has yet to admit he has schizophrenia and not much has been able to control it. To me, talking on the phone to a friendly voice makes me feel good, but I don't know if that is the right thing for everyone. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.
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replied on September 17th, 2008
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In my early recovery, I also made a male friend (I'm a heterosexual female). My sponsor at the time simply said that having a male friend would distract me from working from the steps and she discouraged that I pursue any friendship with him. IT confuses things, she told me, and she was right. I ended the friendship. He moved to another state. It was a week of a little pain, but it helped me stay focused.

I think that it's wise for you to let this friendship and others like it go --- stay out of friendships with males for a year --- and focus on what YOU need to do, which is recover.
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cramcj01
replied on September 17th, 2008
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Thank you. I kind of figured that but wasn't sure. He had made a couple comments like "I'm going to act right so I can get home and hang out with you." Plus, I do need to help myself before anyone else right now. Anyway, thanks, I just needed another's opinion!
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replied on September 17th, 2008
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Totally. It was really tempting to get involved in a relationship that appeared to be "Harmless" and "friendly". But then, he started buying me presents (a little Grateful Dead teddy bear)...and the lines got a little blurry. Are you planning to go to meetings? They really helped me.
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