I'm bipolar with severe depression and prone to panic attacks. I'm 20 years old. I have a 4yr old son. I've attempted suicide 3 times and eventually I started cutting. I've dealt with alcoholism and drug abuse and I thought I was okay for a while. I stopped drinking. I stopped trying to hurt myself. I've been depressed and I go through the mood changes but usually I just tell myself that it's because I'm sick and I dont feel the need to be drastic. Lately, the last couple of months, I started using drugs again, cutting, and drinking. I cry all the time but sometimes I have these unnatural calms and feelings of clarity in the middle of it and then I'm back to crying again. Cutting has been helping me stay calm because for some reason it feels like I'm...releasing the pain from myself. But my bf found out and hid my razors and now I've been having panic attacks. I'm usually here by myself with my son and while I dont think I can hurt him, I think more and more of hurting myself. I had to hide all of my pills on a shelf I cant reach or see. I'm trying to regulate myself, but I'm starting to think it's not possible. I have no insurance and no transportation except for when he (my bf) is here. Is it possible to fix yourself..regulate being bipolar without medicine? Are there exercises or mantras or something that can help me?
The fact is you wont be stable unless you stop the experimental illegal drugs and stabilize your drinking habits to a maximum of one drink/hour. You also have to eat food with your drinks.
It's going to be extremely hard for your brain to have the proper chemistry without the help of prescription drugs. This is because of the drug abuse.
1) Breath in and out
2) Read about Dialectic Behavioral Therapy and treat yourself for eight weeks
3) Read about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and treat yourself for eight weeks
4) Read 'positive affirmations' from the internet
5) CHANGE YOUR THOUGHT PATTERNS to more light comforting thoughts
6) Cozy up with a blanket and have a lot of nap times even if you just lay down in a calm meditative state
7) Make crafts with your boy
a: draw on leaves and glue them on paper
b: color and paint
c: cut up egg cartons and decorate them
d: glue pasta onto glass jars and use the jars for storing things
e: make home made play dough and make animals and bake them in the oven. Then color them.
NURTURE YOUR INNER CHILD
9) LOVE YOURSELF, get bath salts and soak your feet in a bowl
10) eat applesauce
11) eat oatmeal with sugar and cinnamon and frozen blueberries for breakfast
12) get a box of Vanilla Rooiboos (Madagascar) Tea and try drinking teas instead of alcohal
13) Remember you are recovering
14) Withdraw from every part of your life that is a bad influence, you are rehabilitating yourself and you are doing it on your own.
15) Feel free to contact me any time
16) Do not feel guilty if you have a relapse just make it as short as possible and keep moving forward. You are training your mind and are extremely strong. YOU CAN DO IT! There are other ways to live life. You are not trapped anymore because you have taken the first step to RECEIVE HELP!