Basically,

In high school I struggled with weight and eating and what not, but I don't think I ever really had an eating disorder. I did go on extreme diets and would go day without eating, but it wasn't something I was terribly willed into continuing, despite my constant fixation on my appearance.

Skip ahead 6 years, and I'm now a senior in college. I recently gave in and actually said it out loud "I think I might have an eating disorder."
for the past 13 months, I've been severely restricting my food, and back in July began to purge for the first time. I've been purging since.
After late nights of sitting up in my bed obsessing with numbers and calculations and multiple weigh-ins when I should be sleeping, and the occasional blacking out at the gym while running too hard, and not to mention the inevitable 40lb weight loss, I've deemed myself as a person with an eating disorder.

I'm not sure if my diagnosis is correct, as I am not underweight (though my bmi is falling under 19 as we speak) I'm not sure that I feel sick. Therefore, I must not be, right? of course, I know the answer is wrong and I am sick. I'm just not as sick as I think I should be in order to be deemed "sick."

Any way,
My question is, I'm not ready for treatment yet, because I'm not in a place in my life where I can focus on my health. I would be willing to go into treatment, but I just don't think at this point it would be something that would stay with me.
But I really don't want to get worse. I guess I"m asking the impossible question here, how can I insure that my numbers will stay the same until the fall when I can seek counseling?

I'm afraid to try to get better and freak out before I'm ready, or try right now while I'm so overwhelmed with my senior vocal recital and the operas I'm involved with- I don't want to end up failing.

This seems like a supportive board and I'm glad to have found it.

Thank you.