This is really hard to explain because there is so much too say and its so hard to put into words and figuring out how to explain it in a way people will understand. I have a boyfriend whom I live with for the past almost 3 years. It has been a very very bumpy ride. We have been best friends for 10 years and obv dating for 3. I guess I kind of noticed something a little off but loved him as a person never judged and just rolled with situation per say. He has had several girlfriends and always found something “wrong” with them at the time of friendship Id be on his side and tell him to leave them if he’s not happy. But since we have been dating we have broke up once due to him telling me that he cant be in a relationship right now mean while totally in love with me and everything peachy, we separated for two months but saw each other everyday blew my phone up etc. he then cried to me saying he cant be without me and loved me and we continued dating. This makes no sense, why did you leave in the first place…but I let it go. This was in the begging of the relationship, we then moved in together and this is when I noticed things I never have. He would go from hot to cold within hrs, telling me its me I annoy him, I am always up his @ss, he just wants to be left alone, which makes no sense bc it's out of no where and there was no real valid reason for him to feel that way. He then would tell me to hang out with him on the couch or where ever and I would do so and he wouldn't talk and Id get up to do things or even make plans to go out to leave him and he ask" where are u going stay with me, mean while in my head two minutes ago you were yelling at me to leave you the f alone... that's only the start. He has told me he has doubts about everything from our relationship to why the sky is blue. Every day seems to be battle in his mind to be with me but he says he loves me. There are days were he wants to just come home and sleep and completely ignore me to days where he is all over the place and wants to work out, go to the park, shop, whatever and hyper as anything. His sex drive is similar, he can go 2 weeks without sex bc he’s "mad" at me for what I have no idea if i talk to him its walking on egg shells I get the leave me alone effect again or he can have sex 3 times a day and talks to me about everything and anything. Porn seems to be his best friend. We are open with each other so he tells me gets racing thoughts can’t sit still and think right to the point where he is all over the place. He blames me for this that he is not happy and I get him to that point. I am a complete normal girlfriend I cook, clean, and love him. I have moments like everyone else I am not perfect, but not someone to drive a person the way he makes me to be. Back to his sex drive now that I am on a roll he has told me all he thinks about is sex, every girl he see's he wants to have sex with no matter what age or what they look like just to do it. I mean even a 65 year old. Hurtful yes but I take it because at this point I know something’s wrong. I mention seeing someone to talk to, at first he gets mad and says no reason I know my problem its you. Im not happy. I explain to him its further then that I do not believe its all me, I just want to say he is not like ALL the time when he is not like this we are perfect together happy, smiling, joking loving we are like two peas and a pod as people describe us. He is super smart! He comes up with ideas that no one would think of and a memory like a sponge. At this point he is really considering leaving, he claims its because we are young he doesn't want to settle down he loves me but he wants to be "alone" do what he wants yada yada. I cried told him dont give up on us so fast the bond we have is special. After talking and him telling me that he doesn't know whats right or wrong anymore cant decide which drives him nuts. One day he wants to be with me the next he cant stand me and wishs he was alone. That he wants to do crazy things like get a hippi van and drive around the world, the government is all screwed up and he wants to quit his job, he has wanted to moved to several places like Cali, Florida, north Carolina etc, he has had 3 jobs since we have been together and many before that I cant count. He has a GREAT job now and comes home saying he wants to quit. We are at the point where he agreed going to see someone he claims he’s doing it for me to see if he should stay or go. I look at it as please help him I feel he has bipolar or something off but I am not a doctor, if not ill let him go and move on its the best i could do... I know I rambled but it feels good to let this all out its killing me to leave it in. I don’t want to give up on him or us Does this sound like bipolar to anyone? or what could it be? or am I just over analyzing this way to much?.. cause at this point I feel like I’m going nuts.
yes it does sound like bipolar. and you arent overaanazlzing. my ex was exactly like this. and he admitted to me he was bipolar. but the thing is he must not be taking his meds right if he is acting like this. my ex i know isnt he has changed his personality in the last 3 years into someone completely different and its not a good new personality either.but the sad thing was 3 years ago my ex was so sweet and caring and now hes just cold and no remorse and loves to torment and play mind games. it hurts me that he has changed this much. i thought i was over him but i guess deep down i am not
My friend, he sounds pretty Bipolar to me, he is exactly like my ex, who had a huge problem with BP and was not medicated. Everyhting you said I went through, all the change of mind, the grandiose ideas that never get off the floor, the lack of feelings, the wanting to be alone to sort himself out, the sexual drive, the lack of interest in sex and after a crazy bout of it, the chasing of other women, everything.
I have now finished with my ex and have a lovely normal man, who is soooooooooooooo different that I cannot beleive he is not going to start to scream, shout, go off with other women, have tamtrums, telling me lies, disappearing for days on end, behave extremely cold, avoid me, etc, etc. So good now. I would tell you to look for a doctor for him or to go to a normal man.
awww thanks for the advice. it hurts 3 years ago he was so nice and now 3 years later his whole personality has changed. he lives with his parents i dont know why they arent doing anything about it. but then again his dad is also bipolar and his mom is pretty busy with the two of them so i guess thats why. he would be furious if he read what i am posting and cut ties with me.
If I may add that usually a bipolar person does not take two or three years to change...This can be a weekly or even sooner change....IMO, bipolar is a name that is given far too many people who do not have this disease...Take care...