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User Profile
June 13th, 2009
I have schizophrenia. I have recently become very close to a girl. I do not know how it happened. As my name states, I am a misnathrope. I do not have any friends, exept people I can use for something. All I usualy think about is how to hurt other people, but she is diffrent. All I want to do is protect her.

She knows about my illness and is trying her best to help me. I care very deeply for her, but how does my illness affect this?

I have permanent auditory illusions. The voice is extreemly violent and constantly orders me to kill people. It has recently become worse. I have had two murder attemts.

One night the voice totally took over. It said very hurtful things to her. She said that she forgave me, but it bothers me. What if it happens again?

She has alot op problems of her own. The last thing I want to do is hurt her.

Would it be better if I stop talking to her, to protect her from me?

Please help.
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loren111
replied June 16th, 2009
can you ever get rid of this illness? if so then i believe sort it and maybe keep her but if not i feel bad to say this becuase you may be a lovely person but this illness over takes you, but honest truth i dont think she should be in an enviroment which she may be in harm as you say she could be.i think you a real person to think for her and i wish you the best of luck and hope everything turns out well for you Smile x
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merium
replied June 16th, 2009
Experienced User
ermm.. what is schizophrenia?
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soop
replied June 16th, 2009
I suggest that you do not push her away as real friends can be rare. She may be influential with helping you control yourself. Try to be honest and open with her.

Are you on or have you been prescribed any medication?
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MyrahU
replied June 16th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
If you are not under the care of a psychiatrist, you really should be. If you are on medication and still have symptoms, go back to the doctor. There may be something more they can do. If you can find the right medication and stick with it, there is a much better possibility that you can live a full and normal life.

As for this girl, I don't see any reason why you can't at least be friends. I would limit it to that until you can get your symptoms more under control (with therapy and medication), if you can. I think it's wonderful that you've found someone who is so understanding and caring.
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loren111
replied June 17th, 2009
i so agree with MyrahU !
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lovehim21
replied June 17th, 2009
never push her away. you love her and you need to show it. i bet shes very pretty.
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Misanthrope
replied June 17th, 2009
I do not want to push her away, but what about her? If there is a chance that I will hurt her again, is it not selfish of me to stay around her?

It is easy so say that I love her and want to be around her, but is it even possable with my illness?

Will ending our friendship not be the best way for everyone?
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soop
replied June 17th, 2009
It is possible, I know people who lead fulfilling lives with the same or a similar condition. They take their daily meds independantly and they have people who love them to support them.

Your feelings for her appear to be quite strong, use that strength to lean on when you need to.

You need support from people who care about you. Take your medication and let people you trust help you.

I presume you've been to a psychiatrist unless you were self-diagnosed/home-diagnosed?
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mikedarkkid
replied July 17th, 2009
Experienced User
Sorry mate. Schizophrenia is permanent. But if u talk to your doctor they might be able to get u some medication. Its not a cure, but if taken regularly it can help a lot
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SchizoKid99
replied November 7th, 2012
*of
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