I have schizophrenia. I have recently become very close to a girl. I do not know how it happened. As my name states, I am a misnathrope. I do not have any friends, exept people I can use for something. All I usualy think about is how to hurt other people, but she is diffrent. All I want to do is protect her.
She knows about my illness and is trying her best to help me. I care very deeply for her, but how does my illness affect this?
I have permanent auditory illusions. The voice is extreemly violent and constantly orders me to kill people. It has recently become worse. I have had two murder attemts.
One night the voice totally took over. It said very hurtful things to her. She said that she forgave me, but it bothers me. What if it happens again?
She has alot op problems of her own. The last thing I want to do is hurt her.
Would it be better if I stop talking to her, to protect her from me?
can you ever get rid of this illness? if so then i believe sort it and maybe keep her but if not i feel bad to say this becuase you may be a lovely person but this illness over takes you, but honest truth i dont think she should be in an enviroment which she may be in harm as you say she could be.i think you a real person to think for her and i wish you the best of luck and hope everything turns out well for you x
If you are not under the care of a psychiatrist, you really should be. If you are on medication and still have symptoms, go back to the doctor. There may be something more they can do. If you can find the right medication and stick with it, there is a much better possibility that you can live a full and normal life.
As for this girl, I don't see any reason why you can't at least be friends. I would limit it to that until you can get your symptoms more under control (with therapy and medication), if you can. I think it's wonderful that you've found someone who is so understanding and caring.