Medical Questions > Parenting > Preteens Forum

masturbation

I am a single parent of 2 girls. 10 and 7 and are both very out going. I noticed recently that my oldest would be playing with herself a lot, hands down her pants or hiding under a blanket when we would watch TV. She does this in bed after i tuck them in, her and her sister share a room, 2 bedroom apartment. It seems that she cant stop doing it and its kinda worrying me as how she learned to do this, and is her sister going to be following suit? Its to the point where she cant stop until she climax's I guess because she has a blank look on her face and tenses up. Anyways am I suposed to give her the Birds and Bees talk now and tell her about hygeine? Her mother passed away 5 years ago could this be affecting her to do this, I know kids explore and stuff but didnt think that she would be so addicted to masturbating.
Did you find this post helpful?
First Helper 71conch
|

replied October 9th, 2010
I would giver her a talk. I know it will be hard, i have a little girl and am not looking forward to that. but maybe just talk about descression. tell her that it should be done in the bathroom. (to avoid the younger one) and as you said talk to her about hygeine, tis very important. Some people just have a high sex drive, maybe she will be one of them. I am the same way. I know you dont wanna think about your little girl having any sex deive at all but its life. Maybe also talk to her about boys. dont want anything happening in that department at too early of an age. *sigh* I really do feel for ya dear. I have three kids and not looking forward to what your going through.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied October 9th, 2010
Ya I guess I need to get her aside and talk about what she knows of boys and how interested she is in them... growing up sucks. She usually does it in her bedroom, but if we have a movie night and are sitting on the couche together she will start as soon as the blanket gets over her. Also is it normal for a girl to almost pass out from masturbating? sometimes she seems to be almost ready to pass out, then she gets a big smile on her face then snaps back out of her trance.
Am I doomed to be haunted of thought of my daughter's ongoings after she gets into high school or earlier?
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied October 10th, 2010
about the almost passing out, i dont know. ive never been that way myself but if she seems to snap back i wouldnt worry. as far as the doom..well. u just gotta teach em right and then trust em. i know that can be hard but ya cant really lock em up til adulthood lol. i already feel sorry for my little princess. her brothers and daddy are gonna chase every boy away. lol
|
Did you find this post helpful?
Users who thank kelbelle1984 for this post: kawidad 

replied March 26th, 2011
well i masterbade by humping my bed and im just skared that im pregnant but i know im not Sad
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied June 26th, 2011
this is the craziest thread i think ive seen.. ever. it takes girls a while to come across masturbation. and that is very commonly discovered in the shower. for her to move from the shower to her hands and at 10... i would be concerned that a person introduced her to masturbating.

10, i guess thats 5th grade. i dont know what to tell you bro. i never masturbated in inappropriate places.. im facepalming as i type.. in front of her dad? seriously? i grew up with 0 talks from my parents. and life has been good. but its clear that you need to talk to her about appropriate places to masturbate, and about hygiene. i really feel for you. im sorry that your life isnt easier.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied September 25th, 2012
Yeah that's pretty odd I think you should give her the talk. Masturbation is very addictive and I think every parent should enforce how bad it is. I myself used to masturbate but stopped and feel better of myself. I think instead of getting her to stop while in your presence you should get her to stop period.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied May 29th, 2013
Convincing children that it is deviant to masturbate is tantamount to convincing them that what is both normal and a fundamental aspect of healthy human sexual developement is deviant. This causes people to feel shame for being normal, which is very disruptive to normal healthy sexual development. You are in effect conditioning someone to be unhealthy.
The only feel reason you feel bad about doing it, is because people have raised you to think that you should feel bad when you do it. You need to wake up and get with reality; you should have masturbated, it would be unusual if you didn't.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied January 29th, 2013
Kids are growing up much faster today then when we were kids. With the internet, face book my space etc etc kids have much more information at hand then 10 years ago. Schools,the library, friends all have computers and kids know how to use them. By 10 they are talking with each other about boys and sex and the changes that are starting to happen to them. They get curious and go surfing to see what they can discover.
Masturbation isn't evil or harmful. If she has just discovered what it does then she will enjoy doing it as often as possible until it becomes old to her.
Talk to her and explain the facts of life to her. Be honest and up front with her. Be open to her questions and answer them as best as you can. If you don't have an answer go on line with her and find the answer.
She"ll learn that masturbating is not the only thing in the world to do. If you treat it as normal and just go with the flow she will slow down and be come more private about as she gets older.
As for her sister she most likely will learn from her sister but no harm done. Just be open and honest and let both of them know you are there for them . Its part of growing up believe me, I have 3 daughters and a son all adults and all healthy and well adjusted.
I think its us parents that get the shock and the nerves when it comes to talking about sex. However if you don't teach them at home they will learn it on the street. The question is where do you want them to learn it. Good luck and god bless
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied January 29th, 2013
The problem is masturbation is so addictive and depressing after doing it. It's like taking drugs (besides the health affects ) you don't just get tired of doing it and stop when it gets old. Treating it as normal would not be good advice. And I don't mean to portray it as evil it's a selfish thing to do when your in a relationship with someone else. It also leads to viewing pornagraphy which nobody should want there own children to do.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied January 29th, 2013
Childhood Masturbation
You know, I hate to be crass - however, most of you are thinking of this as a big deal. And whoever posted that childhood masturbation leads to watcing pornography is so far off base it is unreal. ALL children discocer their own bodies at various ages, but most girls discover pleasure in their genitalia from the ages of 8 - 12, usually 1-2 years ahead of boys. It does not mean that they have been exposed to something (usually)sexual or negative, and no children don't always discover themselves in the shower either. Now a young child may not understand the entire act that they have discovered, but they have discovered that it feels good, and most children do not associate sex with the act of masturbation unless there is abuse present. DONT FREAK OUT! Talk to them, explain that thier bodies are their own, and they may explore them in any way they desire in private. Here is where the talk gets tricky and will ultimately lead the topic of sex. Maybe not today, but sooner than later. In my research I have found that when children do finally associate the act of sex with masturbation - it will usually slow down dramtically if not completely stop, and then of course return with a vengence during puberty. If you would like more information about this and many other parenting topics - read. Read everything you can get your hands on. Forget the wives tales and all of the, "well, when I was a kid," everyone is different developmentally, no one persons experience is exactly like anothers. Keep trucking parents!
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied January 29th, 2013
I'm 16 and I quit masturbating last year, maybe the fact that males can get worse health issues when they masturbate has given me a prejudice on both male and female masturbation. As well I may be including my own religious beliefs as a prejudice.
My thinking differs from yours like when you said "explain that their bodies are their own" which condradicts my beliefs in the verses 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 which says "or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you we're bought at a price; therefor glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's" and. 1 John 2:16 which says "for all that is in the world-the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life- is not of the father but of the world. Note that with this I am only talking to those who believe in what the bible says I'm not talking to anyone else but Christians, because my opinion comes from my experiences from life and my belief in what the bible says to be true.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied February 10th, 2013
And for me masturbation did lead to viewing pornographic material. I started to do it every night. It was addicting. It was on my mind all day and I still think about it. It stained my mind. But now I have better things to do than burn with lust for some fantasy life that I surely wouldn't get and today wouldn't even want.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied May 29th, 2013
kawidad wrote:

Am I doomed to be haunted of thought of my daughter's ongoings after she gets into high school or earlier?


Masturbation and high sex drive doesn't necessarily lead to sexual promiscuity and teen pregnancy and worse. That is a slippery slope argument, and it is a logical fallacy. She may have a high sex drive, but that doesn't mean that she is doomed to become a teenaged slut. Moreover her age isn't really abnormally young for masturbation at all.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied June 18th, 2013
help her
man i guess you should cry your bad luck because your daughter is doing that amazingly nasty habbit. i'm a boy 20 years old , i've been doin it since i was only 11, when my parents got divorced,, and i wish i had someone to advice me about it , and i could tell you that it had destroyed my personality,body and soul, i'm talking of a personal experience man. you should make her stop whatever it takes before it goes worse. help her, please help her before it's too late
|
Did you find this post helpful?
Quick Reply