Hi- I'm new to the forums and I really hope you can help me out!
I've been dating my boyfriend for six months now. Things have been really great, we have clicked really well, gone through some tough times together and are both satisfied in all areas of our relationship except for our sex life.
Although, I'm a college freshman and he's a sophomore, I entered the relationship as a very experienced, highly sexual person. He had never been kissed or had a girlfriend before and was a complete virgin, and I had just ended a 2 year relationship from high school. We moved very slowly and all along I've been frustrated at how slowly our sex life has progressed, which my boyfriend is aware of. He did not even want to touch my breasts until 2 months into the relationship. I thought this was weird- but I felt that breaking up over someone's virginity was narrow-minded and unfair because he is a really sweet guy.
Things progressed and we began getting each other off- blowjobs, handjobs, fingering, etc. Things were going great- we both experienced that hot and heavy feeling and my boyfriend felt ready to lose his virginity.
Although I am worried I pressured him, we had sex for the first time about three or four weeks ago. I don't have a huge window on the world, but I feel like all along there's been something wrong. He couldn't get it up for sex the first time, which I wrote off to being nervous. He tried masturbating and eventually I gave him head until he was hard enough for sex. About 30 seconds in he lost his erection and went soft inside me. We went for a round two, however, and he was hard and it was a success, although he pulled out and did not ejaculate at all.
We went on a trip a few days ago and I was so excited to have alone time with him. I pictured all the great sex we would be having! But- he had trouble getting an erection, keeping an erection inside of me, and getting off. I hadn't been able to give him an orgasm in about a month or two before this (& he has never come during sex). He did finally ejaculate from a blow job. But we put on about 10 condoms, 3 made it inside me, (because he lost his erection as he was putting the other ones on) and of those 3, he went soft each time.
I asked him about it and he expressed concerns of disappointed me and even was crying when we were discussing it. I am concerned that this is a performance anxiety issue- but I think it might be more complicated than that. He has just started to masturbate, about 2 months ago, before that he never did that. He says he likes doing it and gets off but feels like he does it too much (1x a day). I feel like he had NO sex drive before that and never even thought about sex or masturbating. We couldn't even have sex and he wouldn't let me touch him by the last day of our trip because he was complaining his groin hurt.
Help!! What should I do or say?? What is wrong with him??? Is this normal!??? I just want to have a sex life!