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masterbation (Page 1)

hi!! i'm 21 years old and i have been masterbating for one year. i do it mostly once a day or sometimes once in two or three days. just wondering whether it will stretch my vagina or will there be less saticfaction while having sex later on because of masterbating? Rolling Eyes i just like to play with my clit and i never use anything in my vagina while masterbating.
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First Helper gipsigurl
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replied March 17th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
you have nothing to worry about..no it isn't going to stretch anything and it should effect your satisfaction later on unless the guy just doesnt know what he's doing lol
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replied April 17th, 2009
please help
after my wife thinks I am asleep the bed begins to shake. the first few years that this had happened, it turned me on. But know it bothers me. I have confronted her about what she was doing, and she denies doing it. I am quite sexual myself, but I guess I feel a little disrespected about my wife masturbating next to me. My little buddy and I are always ready to go. I guess I just what to know is it me? And if so, what do I need to do for her to fix this problem.
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replied April 17th, 2009
Supporter
This is a little off topic and you should have started your own thread, but since I'm here I may as well answer you. I hate to ask this but are you sure she is satisfied with your sex life? The fact that she does this in bed beside you seems to indicate that she wants you to know/ doesn't care that you know she is doing this. Otherwise, why not do it in the shower or some other private place? I think you need to have an open discussion with her about your sex life. When I was younger and too inhibited to be honest with my boyfriend, I used to masturbate after sex with him. The sex was okay but just when I was really getting into it, he was done and I was left feeling sexually frustrated. (Of course, I never did this in the bed next to him.) Is it possible that she is feeling like I did?
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replied May 5th, 2009
please help
My wife was doing the same thing while I was sleeping and she finally admitted it a month or so ago. I go to sleep early and we have sex maybe once or twice a week. My wife would swear that she is completely satisfied sexually, of course how could I believe her. She also masterbates and speaks in her sleep and swears she does not remember a thing! I told her that I masterbate, basically I need a visual not just close my eyes and imagine. I have been with my wife over 29 years of which 22 have been married. We are in our forties, good shape, work out, by no means harmful on the eyes but I think she is desiring either a change, fling or something else and of course she doesn't admit anything. What to do? No real evidence that she has acted on her desires outside the bed, so divorce is out of the question. Masterbating really doesn't cut it for me, so to use that as revenge tactic won't work. Strip clubs, maybe? Buy they are sleazy and I think I'm over that deal. Any advice, anyone? I think this is more common of a situation than we all think.
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replied December 4th, 2011
No worries, sometimes people want to rehearse solo, not perform. Men are a lot more visually oriented then women, so her not needing a visual is normal. A fun thing to try may be to watch each other masterbate, whilst masterbating, and see if you can achieve orgasm that way, with out touching each other. You might just find new ways to please her, as she might you.
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replied October 17th, 2012
maybe your wife does not know how to ask for a little something different in the sack? I know that my husband and I have been together for quite a long time and we are just now finding that it is ok to ask for more...my husband is very shy and for the longest time I was afraid to ask for more in fear that I would insult him...I was wrong...he loves me asking for what I want...could you ask your wife (in the dark maybe) if there is anything unusual that ytou could do for her to bring her to orgasm??? She just might surprise you...or you could lead with a request that is not usual for your sexual relationship? Maybe open things up a bit??? I be she just does not want to hurt your feelings!!! Good luck!
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replied May 5th, 2009
Community Volunteer
Re: please help
dliterri wrote:
My wife was doing the same thing while I was sleeping and she finally admitted it a month or so ago. I go to sleep early and we have sex maybe once or twice a week. My wife would swear that she is completely satisfied sexually, of course how could I believe her. She also masterbates and speaks in her sleep and swears she does not remember a thing! I told her that I masterbate, basically I need a visual not just close my eyes and imagine. I have been with my wife over 29 years of which 22 have been married. We are in our forties, good shape, work out, by no means harmful on the eyes but I think she is desiring either a change, fling or something else and of course she doesn't admit anything. What to do? No real evidence that she has acted on her desires outside the bed, so divorce is out of the question. Masterbating really doesn't cut it for me, so to use that as revenge tactic won't work. Strip clubs, maybe? Buy they are sleazy and I think I'm over that deal. Any advice, anyone? I think this is more common of a situation than we all think.


Far more common then is admitted to by the woman...This is part of their "secret garden" in their mind...They are just awakening to all the glory in this thing called "sexual want" and just plain don't know where to go with it....She desires more, but can't find the words to say what is on her mind...Just part of her inhibited side of woman...These are just my thoughts...

Caroline
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replied May 5th, 2009
please help
Yes that is probably the case. I didn't meantion that she said that her fantasies were about receiving oral sex. I had done it a few times here and there, sometimes not to completion and she dug it. She was embarrased to ask for it (thinking it was dirty) and being in her 40's and married to some time, she was not up to snuff on the newer grooming techniques. I have to admit I had always asked her to clean it up down there and she would always say NO. Needless to say it made performing oral on her unpleasant. I appreciate your response.

Thanks
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replied May 5th, 2009
Community Volunteer
Tell her to shave....Just about all women do this...It is such a wonderfully erotic feeling, plus a sexual turn on to a man...Then it is your turn to bring her around...Go gently...Tease her with your tongue..Spread her and tell her how incredibly sexual that she is...Finger her gently...Spread her apart..Lick her and tease her with your tongue...All the while you are doing this speak softly of your love for her...Let her go into her mind...Touch high inside her vagina...Do this with the delicate touches of a lover..Let this be a her thing...Every once in a while stick your tongue in and caress a part you are touching...If you can't see well enough, get a flashlight...Lord, that can be hot...Watch the movements as she comes alive...Tell her to lay back and just enjoy what you are doing to her...Now is your time in life to explore...You have known each other for years, but never truly ventured into each other's minds...Yesterday during love making even after all these years, I found out a new erotic thing to do with my husband...This is all part of the joys of sex and to me, one of the greatest pleasures in the world...A man can take a woman to heaven my friend...And when she arrives there, she is never the same...It is good.....

I wish you well....
Caroline
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replied May 5th, 2009
CarolineEF
Well, the shaving part was also done and is amazing. I always enjoyed doing that and now it is incredible and she enjoys it as well. But, unfortunately she may still be having fun in her deep sleep, just got to deal with it. Incidentally, we are in therapy but 50 minutes a pop does not go far...

Thanks
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replied May 5th, 2009
Don,t worry!
I have the same problem, and my husband too.
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replied May 5th, 2009
Community Volunteer
The only problem with doing this is that you are taking away a special joy that you should be giving to your lover...Masturbation is a solo sex act, whereas letting your lover make love to you brings on a closeness that cannot be duplicated...Try going back in your mind to your yesterday's...The hot parked car or where you both first found each other...The problem with too much masturbation, is that you can become your own greatest lover....And in time this, too, will be hard to find...

I hardly ever masturbated until near four years ago...This is when I found out about the vibrator...Yes, I think I was born on the far side of the moon... Rolling Eyes Finding this new toy, I just loved it...It is a wonderful Eroscillator...However, I found that by doing this, that I took the edge off of something that belonged to my husband...Now Eric seldom comes out of his pillow case...I find it more erotic thinking of all that I will do to him...and he to me....

Good luck to both of you and sdrre....

Caroline
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replied May 5th, 2009
Experienced User
Re: please help
dliterri wrote:
Yes that is probably the case. I didn't meantion that she said that her fantasies were about receiving oral sex. I had done it a few times here and there, sometimes not to completion and she dug it. She was embarrased to ask for it (thinking it was dirty) and being in her 40's and married to some time, she was not up to snuff on the newer grooming techniques. I have to admit I had always asked her to clean it up down there and she would always say NO. Needless to say it made performing oral on her unpleasant. I appreciate your response.

Thanks


i agree with Caroline in her thinking. i have a couple of things to add though...first, about her embarrassment to ask for it...DON'T MAKE HER ASK! this is something that (in my opinion) you should insist on doing for her UNLESS she tells you no! when you ask her to "clean it up down there", there's sort of a "your nasty" connotation associated with that. i'd stay away from asking her to clean it up, but instead maybe pick your time a little better to pursue lovemaking with her (like when she's just gotten out of the shower) if this is a concern to you.

also, a job worth doing is worth doing right. if you're going to give her oral, then by all means do it until the job is done. not giving her the big "o" in my opinion is the equivalent of going to the bathroom and having a bowel movement and not wiping...the job just isn't done!

i masturbate frequently, and do so even when in a relationship. i do so for various reasons (sometimes i just want a quick "o") that doesn't involve the complication of involving my b/f (i can do it in 5 minutes, but if i make love, i want it to last a while...and sometimes i don't have that much time). i still have plenty of sex drive for him however and i don't think that my activity takes anything away from him. overall i do prefer to make love to him as to masturbate, but in my mind there is a time and a place for everything. additionally, i don't mind that he masturbates sometime. we're both human and to me that's just part of the human condition. as long as neither of us goes without, then i don't see any harm in it.

the biggest problem i see however is that i feel like she thinks you think that she is dirty or undesirable in some way. please think about this and try to counteract her thought process...chances are she's fairly sensitive about things down there (smell, appearance, etc). think about how you would like to be treated by her and then do THAT!

good luck!
jasmine
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replied June 26th, 2012
oral -female
I feel exactly the way you replied. MY boyfriend hasn't gone down on me in nearly a year. I feel so gross and ugly that it messes with my head. He expects and desires oral and I don't mind at all. I do admit it's hard for me to get off, but I still fell like he doesn't want me. It makes me sad. I shave daily and i try to be very clean.
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replied May 11th, 2009
next time
i was just nodding off to sleep one night, when my girlfriend was doing the same thing, i didnt say any thing i just went under the covers and helped her out wit my tounge, she liked it. afterwords i asked why was she doing it even though we had, had sex, she said she was just still horney and wanted more. i believe her sometimes im the same. so next time it happens go under
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replied September 23rd, 2009
women masterbating
ye that all sounds good but i have aquetion my wife i know she does masterbate but denys it left and rt sometimes when she gets out the shower after a while i reach down and fell her on her and its all hot and sweaty like you no after sex and thers times when she gets out and i feel on it and its all cold and dry and she says that her dr says thats normal but come on i know she does it i just want her to tell me the truth and not lie yea you no no do it in front of me i dont mind so why do women deny it it can really boost thier sex lifes as well as ours i think what happens is she starts to wash it and one thing leads to another ive spied on her to bust really cant see anything sometimes i hear her moan with relief what do you think maybe the shower was that relaxing or the extra activities
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replied September 27th, 2009
Masterbate all you want!! It will not affect your sex life. I guess if you did it 5 times in a day, and tried to have sex it might be a little hard to get off. For me anyways. You have nothing to worry about Smile
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replied December 13th, 2009
Nothing's wrong, its just different.
I am a 27yr old female, been married and divorced, been through a few men and women.

Quite frankly, I think you all need to re-think this.
My favorite part about masterbating is doing it WITH my partner. He loves watching me and I love being watched. I also love seeing him let go.

Also - since there are two threads here - the more a woman, or for that matter a man, knows himself, the better sex will be. You'll both be able to show and tell each other what you actually like and want.

Don't feel ashamed about knowing what you want. Don't feel ashamed about how you think you look. Just do it. Just let go. It's the most perfect gift you can give your partner - trust - you trust them enough to let go in front of them. It doesn't always mean they weren't satisfied with sex - it's just a differnt kind of orgasm.

And, may I say, women, like men, are built in many different shapes and sizes. My best friend can have an orgasm that includes her clitoris and vagina. I can't - I am simply built further apart. I love masterbating when he's in me, too, and he loves to watch it that much more. It usually makes it more intense for both of us.

Maybe this will help all of you.
Enjoy.
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replied December 13th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
Re: please help
dliterri wrote:
She was embarrased to ask for it (thinking it was dirty) and being in her 40's and married to some time, she was not up to snuff on the newer grooming techniques. I have to admit I had always asked her to clean it up down there and she would always say NO. Needless to say it made performing oral on her unpleasant. I appreciate your response.


If you want a job done right do it yourself. Your wife's grooming is completely suitable and comfortable for her needs in her experience. I've had a lot of lovers (Mostly female) with grooming I didn't care for. So I warned them that I was going to have to shave them myself if they didn't. I very consensually blindfolded them, bound their hands and shaved them to my standards of grooming. All of them were bowled over with the attention and sensation. Only one stopped shaving afterwards. Worst case scenario she won't like it and she'll grow the hair back out.
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replied February 8th, 2010
im 13 and im in middle school, i do it it about twice a day. i have a gift. i was born stretchy. sometimes i do tests to see how loose i am, one time i stick a whole unstringed guitar head up there. since then i can usually get both my hands in there if i stretch before.
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replied February 11th, 2010
love.make.not.taboo in my heart.
I don't have intresting of it,..
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replied August 20th, 2010
masturbation
I do love 2 watch my wife masturbate ,we have a good sex life and if she wants to pleasure herself, fine with me i have no problem at all my male sexuality is secure and hers also, it is stimulating for her and me i do go down,,really love it
and she does me,all the way (ex)no clean up if you know what i mean yes swallows
no problem for both of us. She at times just does not want sex,i do
so she will just come out and say to me just jerk-off
and she may watch -or not but i get off she gets to watch-or relax,we have NO problem with it..married 23 years,spice is life,and variety never killed anyone.
So if you think it is dirty,sick,or she has other thoughts well talk and believe me at our age it is still good......
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replied January 7th, 2012
How do I get my wife to masturbate while I watch. I am trying to enhance our sex life. any ideas to help me spice it up in this area. Thanks
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